Learning to love
by Dreigo ENG
Summary: Action story begins two months before the end of school. Ichigo and Orihime are in a relationship, but they still are not sure of their feelings, or their future. I should tell, that Ichigo lost his power after Quincy war, but he still can see ghost, shinigami and other weirdos. :)
1. Adoration

**English isn't my native language. So I;m sorry about any mistakes. I try my best. :)**

* * *

She remembered the day when she met him. She couldn't forget it. It was a day when her brother was killed in a car accident, and she was sitting beside his body and wept. She didn't know how long already she cried, didn't even know if she still has what to cry with. However she sat there and sobbed uncontrollably, repeating like the mantra, "Don't leave me." Doctor came to her trying to pull away from the corpse, but each time she plucked from him and returned to her former position.

Late at night, when the clinic enveloped with silence she heard footsteps. There wasn't a steps belong to adult, it was still light, without the burden of life. However, she didn't raise the head, squeezing sheet as hard as she could, hoping that her brother is about to wake up and take her home. Suddenly she felt someone touching her, surprised she looked at the boy with chocolate eyes and dishevelled orange hair, on his left cheek was a bandage, but the only thing she remembered was a concern in his eyes. She tried to push him away, to say that she wanted to be alone with her brother, but she couldn't say a word. She looked down, clenched her legs, he sat down next to her without forcing her to the conversation. He just sat next to her, and she in over time succumbed to exhaustion and fell asleep leaning on his shoulder.

Their next meeting was held when she started a high school. She sat on her spot talking about their club plans with Tatsuki, when he came to class with a high mulatto. She felt like her stomach is compressed with nerves, she didn't know what she should say, but soon she realized that he didn't even noticed her, or at least he seemed so. It relieved her. That day, she felt a lot better with the idea that for him she doesn't existed.

She watched him every day, admired his fortitude, and that he had around him so many friends. She felt that he is the person to whom it is impossible to not like. She envied him for that, but somewhere deep down her, she knew it that was just a game, the mask, which is assumed to don't worry others about himself. But she couldn't ask him about it, they weren't even a close friends. Sometimes, when she was alone with Tatsuki she was talking about him. Every day, she wanted to know more about him.

And one day, in his life appeared Kuchiki Rukia. She felt that there is something unusual about her, watching their relation, she sat them of relationship, she understand that for some reason Rukia is very important to him. Therefore, she tried to make friends with the brunette, to do anything to made her feel comfortable with people from class. She envied her intimacy with him and her frivolity in the touching. She hadn't have so much courage to make a step towards deepening their relationship. It seemed to her that being class friends was quite simply, at last she was able to see him from afar to admire his strength.

And then things went differently than she ever thought. Her brother was a monster by her selfishness, and he saved her. No. Didn't saved her. He saved her brother from suffering. She was grateful, that way the next day at school, when she ate breakfast, she didn't admit that she remembers, she said the version which gave her Rukia. Knowing her nature, it didn't seems strange. Once again, she wanted to ask him about things that didn't concern her, but she didn't. Repeating like a mantra, that they're only a friends from class. And suddenly Kuchiki Rukia disappeared, everyone forgot about her, as she never existed, and he? He came to class subdued, lost in his own thoughts. Completely lost his power, the mask which he assumed was slowly crumbling. Then she decided that she would talk with him, she'll try to comfort him, though she knew that she has no right to do so.

* * *

She opened her eyes and listened like every day to silence. No one walked around the house, no bustling in the kitchen, no washing before leaving the house. She shivered, feeling like always that she want to cry. She hated this apartment, her own prison. But she preferred to live alone than to go back to THEM. She don't remember them almost at all, they're just blurry silhouettes among memories of her brother, but she remembered the story of a family that she would rather never have.

She sat on the bed, breathing deeply and counting to ten, it was her constant habit to shake off the dream to wear her mask. She bit her lip looking at the time, she had to little of it to leave. She grabbed her uniform and walked into the bathroom to get ready for another day at school.

She made at quickly a sandwich and put it in the bag. She ran out of the apartment, closing the door behind her. When she ran down the stairs, she looked around, hoping that she may see Tatsuki, but she wasn't in their designated place. She sighed moving slowly towards the school. Her mind tried to establish schedule of the day, she had a lot to do, and it weren't pleasant duties, she would prefer to spend time as any teenager: on reading magazines and gossip with friends about guys, maybe even she would find the desire to improve her cooking.

"Orihime." A male voice said behind her, grabbing her from depressing thoughts.

" Ichigo…" she said suprised, looking around him to find his other friends. – You're alone?

He raised his eyebrows questioningly, as if he wondered what she might mean. When he caught with her step, he smiled gently almost imperceptibly staring straight ahead.

"I don't have to walk with them every day… It's almost as if I was gay. " He said quietly, his hands in his pockets. "Or maybe you mean somebody else?"

She shook her head not to mention anything else. She only smiled gently, being deep inside thankful to him that he decided to go with her to school. She wanted to ask him if Tatsuki asked him for it, but he looked at his watch with disappointment, that was enough to pick up the pace, but to be a little slower than him.

She liked to run after him, look at his back, he seemed to her then like unrivaled authority, but the distance was enough to reach out and grab him by the hand, to make him a strangely intimate.

They had reached the school punctually on time out of breath, she changed shoes, looking amused at Ichigo, who couldn't cause of rush to put his shoes, in addition Keigo stood before him boasting about his resourcefulness. She greeted him cheerfully and walked forward to the class. When she opened the door she saw Tatsuki talking with the girls, they were strongly excited about something, which give them a slight blush on their cheeks. She walked over to them intrigued, but wasn't able to say even a word when she felt as Chizuru hugs her from behind, her hands reaching for breasts. In amazed, she looked at Tatsuki, who stood with cheeky smile, as she were awaiting for the arrival of deserved punishment.

" Let her go." Cool voice said behind them, forcing Chizuru to withdraw.

"It's not fair Kurosaki! Who give you rights to took my sweet Hime?" Chizuru answered grumpy arms crossed over her chest.

"Change person of your lust." He said gruffly, sitting in his spot.

Everyone looked at him with anxiously, as if they fearing that he'll throw at them a dangerous weapon. Orihime laughed softly, scratching her head. She never knew how she should react in such moments. On the one hand she was happy that Ichigo took over Tatsuki role in calming Chizuru, but in the other she didn't want to everyone to began fear him, even more than they're afraid cause of his face.

She sat up in her place, looking uneasily behind her where the rest of the class was whispering among themselves commenting about what they just saw. She wondered about their opinion on the subject, did they give them a chance? Even she wasn't sure if their relationship is true. During those three years watching him from the shadows, she learned that she's not the equivalent with Rukia. She thought that he would choose her when everything calms down, but then the Soul Society had thank him for his help and take his substitute Shinigami badge. She wanted to ask him why he made this decision? Why he stay? Why he retract tail and agreed to what they said? Is their relationship is just a dummy to forget about Rukia? Every time she bit her lip to not say these questions, she was afraid of the answers, she was afraid that he'll get angry with her uncertainty. After all, she didn't want to be a trouble for him, so she tried to push her thoughts, desires, somewhere inside herself enjoying that he is still with her.

"Orihime." Tatsuki asked her firmly, pulling her from the rush of thoughts.

"Yes?" She raised a eyebrow with questioning, mouth slightly open in surprise.

"This weekend I'm going to train with the club per city. And I thought that you could go with us."

She looked down, trying to remember if she has any specific plans for the weekend. She wanted to turn around to a boyfriend, to ask him about it when the bell rang, forcing everyone to take their seats.

She felt a relief not having to answer Tatsuki immediately. Able to think calmly about offer, but somewhere deep down, she knew that despite all her love to Tatsuki, she doesn't want to go to her judo training. It wasn't her club, not her climate, and sitting and doing nothing, being dependent on their mercy wasn't completely fit with her. She pulled out of the bag her diary, where she wrote the approaching responsibilities, like she thought this weekend she was free, didn't even have a date with Ichigo. She looked down, writing in those days 'camp with Tatsuki'. It was her fault. Finally, Tatsuki endured patiently as she ignored her cause issues of Soul Society.

She looked at the teacher, who with a bored expression on his face told them about the latest results of the various studies. Nobody was really interested in this topic, perhaps except Ishida, who, as usual seemed to be consumed by the desire for knowledge. Orihime was not surprised that every time he was first in the examinations.

* * *

_~~Flashback~~_

_It was a few weeks after the war with Quincy since they came back she lay in her apartment, trying to regain her strength. She didn't think that it will be a day, that she would be finished with her own power. But she couldn't ignore the tears of friends mourning about their dead friends. She did what she could, risking with this her own life._

_At that time, she didn't contact with anyone, the main reason was that she didn't have any strength to get up from her bed and approaches to the cabinet where was a cell phone, not to mention thought of the exit to the outside. But one day she heard a knock on the door, she tried to focus on the reiatsu to determine who visited her, but she couldn't. She waited in silence until the door opened, and on the threshold of the bedroom stood her classmate, her nakama Ishida. She wondered if he came to apologize or did he wanted to say goodbye forever? She couldn't have foreseen what was about to happen._

_The boy sat down next to her, with his usual serious face. He adjusted his glasses, looking at her with eyes full of doubts. She was silent, staring at him through her closed eyelids. She wanted to get over with it, they talk about what happened. She didn't care at all. She was glad that they're all live. That's all that mattered._

_"Inoue-san..." He began hesitantly, as if he was searching for the right words in his head._

_It surprised her, of their whole package, Ishida was the last person you could accuse about lacking of words, it never gave him any problems, and now he looked like an unprepared student in front of blackboard. - I wanted to tell you something. I know this is probably a pretty bad time by the circumstances, but I cannot ever find the right time for it._

_She raised her eyebrows quizzically, turning her head toward him. She felt that his words are not meaning so much in the war, as in the days before it. Her heart strangely trembled with fear. She didn't want to hear it. She definitely didn't want to her friend told what he thought._

_"I really like you, Inoue…"_

_He said it. The words that she wanted to hear from her other friend, but not from Ishida. She closed her eyes, feeling like meet her sobs. She couldn't, she couldn't reciprocate his feelings. No matter how she'll try, she cannot lie to her heart. She tried to control her breath when she heard him rising from his seat and goes out of her room. In amazed, she looked for him, not having the strength to say anything. What can she say? She didn't want to hurt him so much. Therefore, she fear of Ichigo feelings, she has decided that she will never admit that she loves him, she didn't want him to suffer of necessity to reject her._

_"I brought some water. You have to feel thirsty."_

_Typical polite Ishida. She don't durable. She began to cry uncontrollably, burying her face in her hands. How much she can hate herself? How many more nails she nailing into her coffin?_

* * *

They walked in silence down the hall, hearing how the whispers are rambling around. She learned to ignore them, or she just haven't noticed as she being lost in her own thoughts, but Tatsuki was not patient enough to endure with peace guys comments about her or about Orihime.

" Well, it's good that's last year. I've had enough of this."She growled annoyed, clutching a sandwich.

Orihime didn't respond, she went ahead thoughtfully. She still didn't know what she should do with herself, in spite of all the dreams that she had about her future, in reality she feel in a position that from which there is no exit. She envied Tatsuki, her charisma and confidence about what she wants to do, as to most of her friends, even Ichigo had his own plans for the medical studies.

" Oi, are you listening Orihime?" Girl grabbed her arm, forcing her to stop.

She looked at her questioningly, she wanted to apologize for ignoring her when Ichigo approached them with Keigo and Mizuiro.

"We going to eat to the roof, and you?"

" Orihime, why are you with him?! See how he is devoid of emotion! I am much better!" With tears chestnut stood in front of the girl, with hands on her shoulders.

" Let her go Keigo." Ichigo snapped, pulling him back. "We don't have to stick to each other, like you would do it."

" We also were going to the roof " Brunette looked at them with impatiently going forward dragging Orihime with her.

Orihime smiled apologetically, trying not to tip over on the stairs. In fact, she wanted to go outside and sit under a tree to stay a little bit alone, without having to listen to other people's plans regarding what they will do after high school. She feel stressed enough with calls from distant family who insisted her to take the study in Tokyo for a cost-effective specialization. She didn't want to go anywhere. She wanted to do what she likes, something that will bring her some pleasure, make her feel alive.

When they stood on the roof, she sighed relieved that the worst is behind and she'll be able to sit down and eat her sandwiches. She looked around the place, seeing a lot more students than at times in previous years. Tatsuki swallowed a curse, taking again her hand and leading to their location. Last school semester was going to be full of tension, which she'll not be able to unload. She knew that her friend wants to talk to her about her relationship with Ichigo and her plans after high school. She will as usual wanted to just help her, but Orihime doesn't really know what she should tell her.

_Feet don't fail me now  
Take me to the finish line_


	2. Affinity

**I hope that my fiction isn't so bad. English isn't my native language and even if I read many of novel in English, I don't know how to exactly write. Especially dialogs parts. **

**First part of my fiction is about their feelings. I try to show how I read manga, or image thing that Kubo didn't show us. **

**For the record I didn't put Rukia in this fic, I didn't feel right about that. I still don't know how I would like to show her. And fics that I read in most it show her in negative way… So sorry If somebody would like her here…**

* * *

After the death of his Mother he promised himself that he would do everything in his power to protect his family. Even his crazy father who provoked him every day, which resulted short fights between them. They were short not because one of them was stronger, but because Yuzu began to cry. Of course in time, she got used to the fights, so she didn't cry anymore. He enjoyed this more than he showed. He hated when his sisters were crying. That drove him crazy with powerlessness, because he never knew what to do, to have them ceased to cry.

He didn't know when she also became an important element in his life. He wasn't ignorant, but he never could remember the names of people he come into a contraction. There was a time that he really try to focus on the personal data, but the next day it was all over. He don't remember any of them. But her, he remember.

He wanted to protect her. It's not that he doesn't mind harm others. Of course, his character didn't allow him to ignore the needy. But in her case there was something else, his desire to protect her from any harm was much larger than the others. He explained to himself that in comparison with others, she is not able to fight. She was too soft to hurt anyone. He knew her character, he knew how she can be naive, and didn't pay much attention to her own safety, so he subconsciously made the decision that he would take care of her. And it went pretty well. As long as his heart didn't shaken. That day, his heart was filled with black clouds. He could blame it on Vaizards, finally they began to persecute him, and remind him of another him that he didn't want to accept. He hated this part of himself. Dark, devoid of any emotion, able only to kill. That day, he wanted to protect her, be her knight and defeat new enemies. Even his ability to detect reiatsu hints to him to better keep her away from this fight. That day he couldn't protect her. He could only watch as she was running to help him. He knew she did it unconsciously, her heart couldn't respond otherwise. But he couldn't accept that. If only he was stronger, he could protected her.

He sat next to her and apologized. He couldn't say anything more. His heart was burning with pain, when he saw her in that condition. He felt that he had failed again, as when because of his less of knowledge his mother died. After all, he promised to himself that it would never happen again.

He couldn't look into her eyes. He always was overcome by shame. He was ashamed of being weak. He could see the pain in her eyes, but he couldn't change that. He failed her. Even if she have never require from him that, he felt he should have done better.

And then Rukia came back. He felt relieved. Of course he felt. Finally, she gave him powers, she allowed him to become really strong. However, he couldn't respond as usual, he couldn't wear his mask. She used it and came into his heart. She gave him the resolutions to become even stronger if he wants to continue to protect the loved ones. Even if it meant working with Vaizards.

When they returned to school she found her and forced him to apologized once again, but he couldn't squeeze out anything. He didn't want to apologize again, he did it a hundred times. This time he officially promised. He will protect her even at the cost of his own life.

* * *

He looked at her anxiously. For some time she stopped bringing her own food, instead she buying it in the school cafeteria, and eat almost all day. He bit his lower lip, promised himself that he'll talk to her about it after school.

„Ichigo! How you pick up her?" Chestnut suspended his hands on his arms, sobbing loudly.

He sighed heavily, pushing him away. He didn't know how many times he already go through with it, but it seemed Keigo wasn't bored. In corner of his eye he looked irritated at Ishida, who was from them at a greater distance than before the war of Quincy.

He knew why his friend, was trying to cut off from them, why he began to treat him with the former distance and superiority. But he couldn't do anything about it. Orihime chose him, not Ishida.

He took deep breath with scratching his head. In such situations, he missed Rukia, with her around everyone was somehow less busy with his personal life. He ate the last piece of a sandwich and headed to the girls. He had enough his fellow companies who either despise him by jealousy, or keep stubbornly silent around him. And how he could ask any of them about what he should do with Orihime? How he should explain his vague feeling which obsessed him since he told her about his plans? As soon as he came closer to them, he felt the cool gaze from Tatsuki. He knew that she probably trying to squeeze out something from her, with the same result as he did.

„What do you want? This is a girls meeting." Tatsuki said harshly, clutching already an empty box from the drink.

„So what? Nobody said that I cannot be here." He sat next to Orihime, looking at the brunette with a soft challenge.

"You better not provoke me!" She growled harshly, throwing at him the paper from sandwiches.

„I would not presume to. I don't want once again break the glass with my head."

Orihime looked at them without understanding anything of their conversation. Tatsuki gone mad and went away from them. The boy grinned triumphantly, reaching for the carton of strawberry flavor milk lying at the ground. The girl watched him closely, causing him to shiver. He didn't know how to define this feeling, but it didn't belong to those that caused him annoyance. He liked to be seen by her, it was so natural feeling that he never really think about it.

„Ichigo ..." She said shyly, playing with strands of her hair. "You shouldn't treat that Tatsuki-chan."

„How? It's just a friendly argument, she's angry because she's worried about you." He said quietly, looking at her hands.

„It does not look like a fight about me ..."

"Because you don't know what happened while you were gone."

She blinked her eyes stunned when Ichigo sighed with a dose of disappointment. He don't want to remember that time, his frustration, accusations of Orihime betrayal and Tatsuki anger. He closed his eyes, trying to think about a replacement, that would consume his girlfriend enough to not come back to those memories.

„Um, I don't know." She said in a whisper, finishing her drink.

„Orihime, how about going to the zoo on Saturday? Are you free?" He said quickly, trying to leave behind an unpleasant topic.

The girl looked at him in amazed, a moment later she opened her mouth and looked up at the sky and wondered about it. He smiled gently at this sight, he liked her strange habits. Thanks to this she was HIS Orihime.

„I can't." She looked down, squeezing hands at the end of skirt.

He raised eyebrows in silent question, not understanding what was going on. He knew her work schedule and remember that she should be free this weekend. She smiled faintly, looking at him with a sense of guilt.

„I'm going with Tatsuki-chan for training."

„Oh .." He reply barely, rising slowly. "Well, it's nothing. We'll go out on a date in the other day." He tried to smile, that she could feel less guilty, but was unable. He wanted to spend with her every free moment, at last it took so long before they become a couple. He sigh, not knowing what to do, or what to say. He couldn't understand why her refusal shocked him so much.

„Ichigo?" She asked with concern in her voice, keeping eyes at him.

"You didn't say anything about leaving ..." He said with unconscious reproof, looking at the side.

„She invited me yesterday before classes. Sorry."

He closed his eyes to control nerves. He promised himself that he wouldn't do anything that would force her to apologize. Gritted his teeth, with feeling of a growing aversion to himself. Why he behaving with her like an idiot? He wanted to say something, to turn everything into a joke, when the doorbell rang. The girl rose from her spot moving slowly to the door, he looked after her with disappoint look. He put his fingers to the head, making a shooting gesture.

Being with her, he learned that some topics should be taboo and shouldn't be moved. Her family, the events with Aizen and Tsukishima. He didn't want to hurt her, but he did keep returning to these themes subconsciously.

„It's amazing that you feel the jealousy even over Tatsuki." Mizuiro walked over to him, smiling ironically.

„Say what?!" He grumbled irritably, putting his hands in his pocket. "Who is supposed to be jealous of who?!"

„Admit it Ichigo, you're jealous of her, but you can't show this in-the-sweet-way-from-shoujo-manga." He laughed softly to himself going forward.

* * *

_~~ Flashback~~_

_When he woke up early in the morning he didn't realize yet which day is it. The first thing he noticed was the lack of his father in an attempt to greet him. On the one hand, he felt relieved because he had completely enough of it. He lost his shinigami powers, he don't have to train, and yet, he always find someone who reminded him that he should keep the body in good shape. On the other hand, he felt anxiety, the house was too quiet, which wasn't a frequent visitor at this time._

_He went down as soon as he get ready to go out and see that no one was in home. He was about to call his father, when he saw a note from Yuzu about his breakfast. He didn't understand why he can eat alone today._

_He got the answer a few minutes later when his friends began to paid wishes. It was his birthday._

_He knew that his twisted family was planning a surprise party. No matter how many times he said that he don't want this, they did this every year. They love too much of a good time to fulfil the request of the person who should have the final word on how to spend his birthday._

_Just as he suspected, as soon as he returned home from school, he found all his friends and family who happily served the guests. He knew that he couldn't win with them, so he quickly changed into some normal clothes and went downstairs. After a hour he noticed that in crowd he couldn't saw his friend. There wasn't Inoue. Intrigued he approached to Tatsuki and ask what happens to a girl who even left school. But even she didn't knew nothing about it and she was clearly annoyed with this._

_Before midnight he decided to go for a walk. He was tired of games, watching movies and listening to stupid jokes. He needed to refresh mind. So, as usual, he chose the path towards the river. This time he haven't done this with a sense of guilt, a part of his personality finally accepted everything that had happened to him._

_When he got there, he saw the auburn girl sitting on the shore, throwing pebbles into the water. He walked over to her with curiosity, she didn't look sick, but rather worried about something, he was wondering if this has to do with her family._

"_Happy birthday Kurosaki-kun. I'm sorry, but I don't have any gift for you." She said suddenly with breaking voice. He could have sworn she was crying recently._

"_I never care about gifts for me. But thank you for wishes." He said quietly, sitting down next to her. __"Why weren't you at school?"_

„_I was trying to figure out what to give you, but in the end nothing came up. __Sorry, Tatsuki is probably worried?"_

„_Um, she's worried, and not only her."_

„_I'm sorry…"_

„_No need to apologize Inoue, it's not your fault. But wasting the whole day to find me an appropriate gift, it's a bit ridiculous ..." He bit his tongue at the end, feeling like an idiot commenting on her behavior in this way. He swore in his mind, searching for a way to remove it._

„_For me, is the most important day of the year ..." She murmured quietly, not looking at him._

„_Why?" __He looked at her perplexed, wondering why she was not looking at him._

„_Um ... Because Kurosaki-kun was born ... and thanks to this I was able to meet you, and the many friends from the Soul Society. Um ..." She hid her face in hands, sobbing quietly. "I'm sorry, don't pay attention to me, I talking nonsense."_

„_If you talked stupidity you would smile and threw your hands everywhere. Like always you do, when you talk on abstract topics." He sobered abruptly, biting his lower lip. He wasn't stupid. Of course, sometimes he preferred not to notice certain things, afraid of the consequences, especially now when he couldn't defend anyone. After a moment of silence between them, he said. "Orihime ... What do you really want to say?" He felt strange talking to her by given name, but to his own surprise, he said that in such natural way, if it was meant to be forever if he never spoke to her not by given name._

_He saw how she swallows, and her hands cover her knees, as if to support. They were silent for a long moment, as if they ran out again of topics to talk. It always has been when they stayed alone, he felt something in the air, but he couldn't ever figure it out, so he often simply ignored it. Now he also wanted to ignore it, laugh and say anything just to get out of this topic. However, he could not do it. He didn't want to go back to calling her by surname, he respected her, he even couldn't tell anybody how important she was for him. So he grabbed the stone and began to throw ducks. He waited. He had no choice this time._

" _Because I ... I love you Ichigo. And now I cannot run away from that, I know that you love Rukia and that I'm to you only classmate, or even annoying girl that makes you nothing but trouble ..."_

_She got hysteria. She cried, wiping her eyes with hands. Probably she didn't even think what she says, the pain was too strong. He waited patiently for her to calm down, to come to herself and allow him to say something. He actually didn't know how to answer that, he didn't want to be understand by her in wrong way._

_When he heard her quiet whimper, he stood up stretching his body. He looked up at the sky, which was filled with stars. He haven't seen such a sky in long time. He smiled to himself, feeling like a some burden had fallen from his chest._

" _You know Orihime, I not sure if that what I feel towards you is love or not. But I do know that I really, really like you, you are very important to me, you don't even know how much and I never thought that you're a stalker. I just don't want you suffered any harm at the fights. I didn't want to look like your hands become dirty with blood. As for Rukia, she's certainly important to me, but I wouldn't call it love. She changed my life, saved me and my family from death. However, if that the same with the need to fall in love with someone? I'm grateful for what she did, I would do anything for her just to pay off the debt, but I cannot pay in any way." He was speechless for a moment, wondering what he should have said next, he find difficult to focus on his feelings, he didn't like the show them, but this time he didn't want to close heart from her, he wanted her to understand it. "Anyway ... Rukia is a little parasite. Ever since I met her I had a monster in the closet, unannounced visits from shinigami's men's association who are so pathetic that they don't know how to find room for themselves, not to mention about this whole mess. They never asked if I have anything against it, or what my family would say. I would be really mad if I were in love with her, ugly rabbit. - He muttered under his breath, more of perversity than because he really thought that way._

_The sky was a lot nicer when in the background he heard her soft laughter_.

* * *

He walked slowly towards his work, wondering when he actually will find time to talk to Orihime, he knew her well enough to delude himself that she tell him what's bothering her with free will. He had to push her somehow and show that whatever it is, she may depend on him.

„Why so distressed Ichigo?" A familiar man's voice said close to him, forcing him to stop.

„Renji? What are you doing here?" In amazed he looked for a small villians. Sometimes he really think that they could take also his ability to see the spirits, or shinigami. It would be much easier to be normal human.

„Regular patrol. Not a big deal, and you? Soon the whole sea around you will be depressed." He smiled wildly, crossing hands on his chest.

"If you took my shinigami powers, you couldn't deprive me from a view of your stupid mug? - He muttered irritably moving on his way.

„Oh! Why so rude? Would you rather see Rukia?"

"Not necessarily. Seeing her, is equivalent with another blow to the face ..."

"I miss this view." He laughed softly, patting him on the back.

Ichigo just scowled, unable to get to a retort. He felt tired and most of all disappointed. In addition, he had no one to talk to about these things, if his mother had lived she would have advised him something.

„Is something wrong with Inoue?" Red-haired said suddenly, grabbing his arm.

„Hm? What do you mean?" He raised a questioning eyebrow, brushing his hand of him.

„I don't know. For a moment I thought you might break up."

"Why on earth?!"

„You know the men in the Soul Society would be glad of it ..."

„Over my dead body." He muttered dryly, accelerating pace.

He definitely don't allow anyone to take Orihime from him. ANYONE.

_Get out your guns, battles begun,  
Are you a saint, or a sinner?_


	3. Sensitivity

**In the beginning plot is slow and not good, but in the end, it's like „Whaaa?! ****WHEN? ****HOW?" Sad but true, but this is my first Bleach fiction. Next gonna be much better… I hope…**

* * *

At that time, her heart stopped. She couldn't think rationally, her hands were shaking, and her legs refused to obey. She looked at him as he laid unconscious on the ground, surrounded by his friends, who were trying to understand what's going on. She felt as if she was somewhere else. She couldn't believe what was happening in front her.

She spent the whole day on the explaining to their friends what had happened. She couldn't look into Tatsuki eyes. Somewhere in the subconscious she knew that she should at that time say goodbye to her. Tatsuki deserve it, for friendship, which she offered. But Orihime didn't do it. And she felt guilty about this, especially when no one asked any questions. They believed, and left it behind them.

The next day she came to him. She wasn't alone with him in the room, he was surrounded by friends who were worried about his condition, but also the future that awaits him. She didn't say anything. She sat alone next to his bed, staring at the barely perceptible movement of his eyelids. She wondered what dreams he had, or if he felt any pain. She had so many questions, but the only thing she could do is watch him and hope that one day he wakes up.

Sometimes she just looked at Rukia. Flushed, she wondered if she had took her place, is Rukia not the one, that should sat up to Ichigo at such a distance? But the brunette didn't speak, she sat in the room with them, sometimes went out to talk to Renji, or Urahara. If she was concerned about his condition, her belief in his power was stronger, allowing to waiting in peace. Orihime envied her that. She was a bundle of nerves, unable to eat anything or even speak.

And one day he really opened his eyes. She could feel that the tears again obscuring the clarity of her vision and from her throat came only "Kurosaki-kun", she hated herself for it. Why do she always have to say that? She felt Rukia hand on her head, his eyes on her, and she felt like her heart had shatters into a million pieces. Invisibly she bit her lower lip, holding back shivering of her body. She forced herself to smile and looked like he came out with Rukia. Their last moments. She was sure that the next day, he would be subdued and always thoughtful. He for sure missed Rukia, but he didn't told anyone that. He never spoke openly about his feelings.

Over the following days she effectively avoided him . She spent a lot of time with Tatsuki, talking about everything and nothing. She tried to do something to kept busy her mind. One evening she went to the cemetery. She stood before the tomb of his brother, wondering how to tell him what happened. She couldn't tell anyone about what happened in Hueco Mundo. No. She could, but she only avoids his fight with Ulquiorra. The guilt was too strong. She turned him into THAT. It's because her helplessness he was grief-stricken. She always thought about it when she looked at the orange sky. Why he's always sad?

But then she smiled, and returned to her home. She wasn't Rukia. She didn't had the right to know.

* * *

She sighed wearily, looking at a group of people who were continuously performing some exercises that coach asked them to do. Tatsuki was in the front row in front of the man, she didn't look tired, just opposite - she was full of energy.

Orihime got up slowly from the porch and headed for a nearby lake. She knew that this trip was going to end like this. Only on the evening her friend found time for spent on with their training. She didn't blame her, that she tries to make sure that she can cope with the danger, perhaps she even was quietly glad that Tatsuki haven't tried persistently talk about the future, and about the relationship with Ichigo. She was afraid. So much afraid of the conversation, but didn't know how long she'll be able to run away from it. Tatsuki, or even Ichigo will force her to talk, and she didn't know what to tell them. She couldn't have downplay her problems with a smile, even when she told herself like a mantra, that she can't be trouble for anyone, the tears came anyway.

She bit her lip, staring up at the cloudless sky. She don't even notice when she started to cry, she stood on the platform with her arms crossed on chest, enjoying the view in front her. She missed him.

"Oh, I'd like to go with him to the zoo, stupid ..." She whispered under her nose, closing eyes.

She wanted to do with him so much that she didn't know if she should tell him. So many of the places she wanted to visit and see all the myths about stones, statues and other things, but she couldn't get up the courage to tell him. She don't even have the courage to tell him that she had no money, so she chose for dates a simple walk. She don't want to feed on his courtesy, even though he kept saying that it doesn't make him poor by put her dinner, or cinema. However, her guilt don't allowed to accept the offer. How can she looked in his eyes? In the past he had to still protected her, and now he would have lose money on her whims?

Her thought was stopped when she heard the familiar melody of her cell, set only for him. Startled, she began her search in her pockets. At the last moment, she pulled it from the inside pocket of her jacket.

"Hey .." She said softly, wiping her eyes with tears. She was so happy for a one phone call!

" You cried?" He asked clearly concerned. Subconsciously, she imagined as he sits on the bed, ready to run out at any moment and force his father to be drop off to her.

„ Um, I watched the movement of clouds and somehow ... the tears flowed itself." She muttered embarrassed, hating herself for it. She couldn't hide from him her condition.

„ Hime ..." He said quietly, sinking in silence for a moment.

She smiled to herself, knowing that if he spoke to her in the caressing way it was mean that he trying to collect his thought to say something. She took off her shoes and sat on the platform immersing her feet in cold water. She waited patiently until he decides to break the silence, but somewhere deep inside herself, she would prefer that he would never spoke what he meant to say.

"We'll meet on sunday evening. We need to talk and don't even try to twist, I know that something's bothering you, and, as usual, you trying to hide it. I want to know what is happening. I want to help Hime. I'm here to protect you, I cannot do this for the Hollows and other freaks, but I can protect you from your family and the people ... Wait, come back, it's not that I wanted to say, but it's true anyway, I changed my priorities. I want to support you. Do you understand? And don't nod because I don't see it." He spoke calmly, completely soothingly, causing that she couldn't do anything else but smile at his concern for her. How could she not love him?

"I understand Ichi, we'll meet on Sunday to talk about me ..."

" Orihime ... I don't get out of your apartment until you tell me what's bothering you."

She smiled broadly, couldn't help but comment that would probably said from Keigo, if he had heard that. "Do you prefer to sleep on a separate futon, or you like sleep with me?"

She could hear his laughter, which made herself broke and chuckled under her breath. She missed him so much.

* * *

_~~Flashback~~_

_She sat in silence, in her apartment, once again stirring tea, although she didn't add any sugar on it and tea bag she have long time ago thrown in the trash. She had bruises under her eyes from lack of sleep, not to mention the red-rimmed eyes, which were a sign of a long cry. She didn't know what to think, don't even understand what happened._

_Two days ago there were Kurosaki birthday. She remembered how a few days earlier, she went around the city looking for the perfect gift for him, but found nothing and as a result she didn't went to school, being afraid to look him in the eyes. She was his friend, she should have a gift for him. Should know what he likes more or less. But she couldn't find anything specific, when she was watching clothing she oriented that she doesn't know his dimensions, when she passed by a jeweler she remembered that he don't wear any ornaments, although sometimes he was wearing a necklace, but she didn't see anything in his style. Perfume seemed to her too lame and pathetic. Besides, she didn't even know what brand he prefer. For a moment, she wanted to run to Urahara and ask him to invite Rukia. But when she came to a candy store it was closed. So she went to the river to think about herself and her life. She cried for a long time, feeling the shame of her own weakness. Maybe if she hadn't invited herself to a team, everyone would be better? Ichigo could have been in less pain?_

_Now, while sitting in her apartment, having confused feeling. She remembered their conversation. She remembered how she admitted her feelings for him, although she didn't planned it. But she couldn't refuse him. She couldn't deceive him. He said that he likes her. But what came of that, she don't know, and she was afraid to go to him and ask for explaining. She was afraid to make a fool of herself, if she over interpreted something._

_Knock, knock, knock_

_Startled, she looked towards the door. Only after a while it occurred to her who is behind them. She ran toward them, wondering how she'll look in his eyes, what to do when he tell her that she cannot be any longer his friend? What does she say when he don't want to have anything to do with her?_

_She opened the door wide, staring at him with panic in her eyes. She didn't know what to do, but before she was able to tell anything, he smiled gently, tilting his head slightly to the side._

„_I interrupting?"_

"_Um ... What? .. I. .. That this .. May ... do not ... do not bother ...you" She said confused, stepping back to make way for him._

„_That's good, because we didn't have a chance to talk at school, work and all. And I think we need to explain something." He sat down at the table, looking down at her tea, he pulled out a teaspoon and putting it on the plate. "Can I have a cup of tea?"_

" _Of course." She said confused headed to the kitchen. She didn't understand what was happening, she felt like in a strange dream, but no matter how much she pinch herself, it doesn't disappear._

_When she appeared with his tea, she sat in front of him staring at her hands. She didn't have the courage to look him in the eyes, it was warm enough for her in his presence._

„_That's conversation we had then ... we don't came to the conclusion. I don't have shinigami power, I cannot protect you from monsters ..." She wanted to say something, but he just raised his hand in a gesture that he did not want her to interrupt him. "Still, I'd like to try ... I mean ... It should sounds like ... Will you be my girlfriend?"_

_She felt like her heart stopped. She opened her mouth, only to close it. She could not believe it. She just couldn't._

* * *

She felt like her stomach uncomfortable stick to her spine and lungs refused to work. In head she was so confused that with every moment it metamorphosed into a more and more panic. She closed her eyes, pressing her fingers to her head, praying that somehow he couldn't get to her today.

_Knock, knock, knock_

She opened her eyes wide, unable to even stand up. She hadn't expected him so soon, but she had no choice. She agreed to this interview, she couldn't now just get away from it. Taking a deep breath, she slowly rising from her spot. She could feel her trembling hands and legs with every step are becoming heavier. What did she say to him? How do he respond to her words? Will he still wanted Her to be his girlfriend?

„ Orihime in any moment I gonna get some roots here ..." He groaned wearily, having his hands in pocket.

"Um ... I'm sorry, but my legs ache terribly after the workout ..." She smiled gently, opening the door.

"She made you so exhausted on this trip?"

He looked at her with concern, raising his hand to her, as if trying to touch her and make sure, that everything is all right, but then he quickly dropped by going to the living room. She looked after him with a disappointment, she wanted him to touch her, to feel comfortable with her, and also to give her courage to be herself.

She closed the door, wondering how to deal with all this, but instead she walked in his footsteps, clenching hands on her pants. She lacked the determination and courage to talk about herself in this way. She so much didn't want to offend him.

Before she sat down across him, she went to the kitchen to make him a cup of tea. Didn't even ask if he wants something to drink, but she wanted to buy herself some time, to think about what to tell him and what she could tell him.

"Hime ... I don't need to drink tea, it can be plain water ..." He said quietly, looking at the still not unpacked bag.

"No! No! It'll take only a moment, wait a minute, okay?" She said embarrassed, feeling like her heart is working much faster than before.

"I already told you. I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's bothering you."

„ Um, I know ..." She lowered her head, having a feeling that she would cry at any moment, but she could not do that. Not now.

A few minutes later she went into the living room, putting on the table two cups of tea and a bowl of cookies. She sat down, blushing at the sight of her not unpack bag, which in addition was open and what were protruded from it, definitely should be on the bottom. She got up taking it to her room, she couldn't believe that she left it on the view and the person who admired her disorganization was Ichigo. She bit her lower lip, sitting down at the table again. The boy laughed under his nose, eating cookie.

„Um, I'm sorry." She muttered embarrassed, taking a cup of tea.

„ Don't worry, it happens to anyone."

_But why me? What a shame ... Of all the things he had to see it was my panties?!_ She thought bitterly, reaching for the cookie.

"Um ... Ichigo ..." She whispered embarrassed, feeling like she was blushing even more when he looked at her with his chocolate eyes. "When it comes to what's bothering me, you don't have to worry about it, it's nothing great ..."

" I shall assess whether it is worth the attention or not, so speak up." He said quietly, sipping tea.

How she detest him for it. She don't even know how he does it, but he does. He didn't seem particularly interested. Don't push her in any way, and yet, she felt that she should tell him that, cause if she doesn't, she'll disappoint him. She couldn't just get out of anything in his presence.

"Um ... It's just that ... in two months we'll finish high school… and everything is going to change in our lives. You are going to Tokyo to study, and I ... I don't know what to do ..."

_Drip, drip, drip_

When she started to cry? When she lost speech? When his eyes full of calm, turned into anxiety and concern, that have warmed her heart? When the distance between them was decreased so that they were at fingertips? When she get in into a panic, telling him about her doubts on science? When her heart has turned so unstable? When he got the key to her heart, not allowing her to close it anymore?

She don't know the answers to these questions. She was horrified by her condition. She have never felt this way in his presence. Her heart was paralyzed with pain, from the words that were never heard from their lips, the gesture that never existed between them.

_All my heart, it breaks every step that I take  
But I'm hoping that the gates  
They'll tell me that you're mine_


	4. Touch

**OMG thank you for all reviews 3 I really love them. And if someone would like to be my beta, I would die with happiness. The story will have 22 chapters :D I ended her last week, so I must only translate them to english. It's gonna be long time, but nothing gonna stop me. I love IchiHime so much, and in Poland they aren't popular.. Even Bleach fiction aren't popular. :( So I try my strenght in english. When chapter is very bad it's sigh that I was sick and don't have any energy to think.. So sorry 3 **

* * *

Why did he go? Why his heart was so hurt when he heard about her betrayal? Why he couldn't believe it? Why, contrary to logic, he was ready to go and beat anyone on his way to just to get to her? Why not occurred to him to ask someone for help? After all he was not alone.

_He promised her that he would protect her, wouldn't allow to anything bad happened to her._

Why do he always lose the person to whom he promise that?

But her, he wasn't going to lose. Do not allow this to happen again. He don't lose once again his sun. Yes, she was the sun for him. It was enough for him to have seen her happy, only this mattered.

Lie. He was afraid to tell her how important she is for him. He did not know how to express his feelings. He waited for the right moment, that could never happen.

So he went to Urahara being convinced that this fight will be his alone. But there, he saw the old companions in fight. He was relieved in some way, he didn't have to go alone, but still was afraid. What if they die? Do they have enough power? Why he doubt them?

When he ran after her with Nell, felt concern about his friends level of reiatsu. If he could he would be there for each of them, but he had to trust them. And then he saw the fourth Espada. Who report him about the death of Rukia, it shook him, did not want to believe it, and in first thought he wanted to go see if it's true.

Somewhere deep inside himself, he believe that she was safe, that they didn't killed her and did her no harm. After that he would felt it! Right? But then Ulqiuorra said her name. His heart once again shattered the wave of anger, here before him was the person responsible for her disappearance.

But his strength was not sufficient. Maybe that's why she left him, because she knew that he was not able to protect her? Because he was weak?

And yet, when he thought he was dead, he opened his eyes. He could not believe it. She stood in front of him and she revived him. But soon after, he realized that she is not alone, that there was also Grimmjow. _He had to save her._

But why was she afraid of him? What she saw when he evoked that mask? Why could not he save her? Why she wasn't allow him to it? Why this time she did not believed in him? It hurt. His heart writhed in pain seeing her fear.

He really thought he was going to die. In previous fights with Grimmjow he was sure that he would survive, that he would win. This time, he could not think so. She was afraid of him! He was not any better than THEM.

And then he heard her crying. How do she ask him to not let hurt himself anymore ... to not die.

His heart suddenly revived by giving strength to overcome Grimmjow. But why he did not kill him? Why he did not done the last blow? Maybe he felt sorry? Or maybe he was grateful that he brought her to him?

When he appeared again in the tower, he didn't know what to do. He wanted to hug her, to say how happy he was that she is alive and well, but he couldn't ... he could not gather the courage to show her how important she is for him.

But when she gave him her hand, he shook it gently, he felt happy. Like if he was at home. He had no desire to go and fight with others arrancars. It was just about to return with everybody to Kakakura.

He regained at the moment his sun.

* * *

He sighed with boredom, looking at the queue in front of them. He didn't think that so many people would decided to go to the Zoo. Orihime looked at her cellphone to check something, she did not look bored, or even more puzzled with think that they will spend a few minutes before they can enter the park.

"What's wrong?" He leaned toward her, staring at her worried look.

-"Nothing, just got a message about my last test in English." She said confused, hiding the phone in the bag. "It not went very well."

"Next time you will succeed." He said with calm voice, smiling gently.

„I hope so, but lately I cannot find the motivation to learn. I mean, it's not because of you. I just think that my brain wants to have vacation already." She laughed under her breath, looking straight ahead. "We move at the pace of snail. I wonder if they opened all the cashbox ..."

„They should." He answered wearily, sighing heavily. "Maybe we shouldn't see each other for a while. You didn't think about study with Ishida?"

She looked at him with pain, but in next moment she just looked down, shrugging. Even if she did not show it, Ichigo saw how she looks at people in front of them, especially the couple who was holding hands, laughing at something. He closed his eyes, wondering what he should do in this situation. At such moments, he definitely missed mother, with whom he could talk about dating with girls.

"Listen to Orihime, I'm not saying this because I'm fed up, or something. If you ask me I would spend with you every free moment, but I'm not so good at learning. Ishida is much better than me, and he'll explain to you everything that you don't get it. Although I cannot say that the thought that you will be spending time with him pleases me." He muttered with embarrassed looking away.

She blinked in amazement, not knowing when she started to smile. She liked to look at him when he is embarrassed by his own jealousy. Suddenly, her eyes cast their shadow, she noticed how close to each other they're in it. She held out a hand slightly in front of her, smiling broadly to the illusions that was created in their shadows. Although in this way, she was holding his hand.

Ichigo in corner of his eye saw her blush and the direction in which she looked. He smiled gently, pulling his hand to her and squeezed it. The girl looked up at him, shocked in disbelief, but also with a quiet happiness.

„ If you want do something, you don't have to hold back. We are a couple. It's natural." He said quietly, trying to hide his joy at this turn of events.

"Um ... could we go after the Zoo for pizza?" She said embarrassed.

He raised his eyebrows quizzically, not understanding what was wrong with her question that she could not look straight at him. Sometimes he could not decipher her.

" Yeah, I don't see problem. We will definitely be hungry after so many hours of walking."

„I hope that we will see the penguins ... do you think they will remember some of that cartoon?"

He laughed softly at the thought that the real penguins would behave like a spy unit. He was aware, however, that in Orihime mind many strange things happen.

„I don't think so, but who know?"

„How about Timon and Pumbaa?"

"Impossible .. Warthogs and meerkats are housed separately." - He brutally answered interlock his fingers with her.

"Mou~~ " she moaned disappointed, leaning lightly on him.

"Maybe we can see little lions? I read that they were born."

"Really?!"

He nodded his head affirmatively, watching as her eyes bursting with joy, her smile growing even bigger. He knew subconsciously that she is grateful that she took the camera, even though she almost forgotten it.

Her lucky was enough to him, he didn't ask for more. He noted that they are the subject of rumors for many people, finally, their relationship is not normal. Everything goes slowly, they don't rush in anything, as if they savoring each other. But Ichigo did not want to rush, he do not feel brave enough to impose its pace. He was glad, of course, that he could finally touch her, she showed him that she also wants it.

Apparently love is spontaneous. However for them, is time to slow discover each other. They do not want to lose their chance.

* * *

._ ~~Flashback~~_

_When he woke up in the morning, he realized he didn't know how to tell all about his relationship with Orihime. He would like to left it between them, he did not feel the need to share his personal life with anybody, but he didn't want to be selfish and put her in an uncomfortable position. He knew she did not like lies, even after returning from Soul Society, even though she knew she shouldn't spoke about what they were doing, but even so she said. She was not a person who feels comfortable with a lie._

_He went down, as always, trying to ward off from father, who, as always, tried to mobilize to the exercise. He was tired of it, but he could not explain it clearly enough to stop him doing it. Yuzu and Karin looked at him strangely. He raised a questioning eyebrow, but said nothing. He wanted to explain a late return home, but before he could open his mouth, he was sitting at the table and looked at his portion of food._

_And so he went to school, wondering how come, despite great happiness he is expected to live with the knowledge that he has a girlfriend. For so many years he kept feelings in the depth of himself, and by his expression no girl chatted with him, outside Tatsuki, with whom he knows from their childhood._

_When he walked into the school he saw Ishida, who stood staring at him with his usual exaltation. Immediately he looked for Sado, but giant wasn't anywhere in sight. He came to Quincy with his teasing smile._

"_Yo Ishida! I see that, as usual, you are in a good mood." He said sarcastically, putting his hands in his pocket._

„ _Kurosaki." He said, annoyed, ready at any time to withdraw to the school._

„ _What happens Ishida? Ever since the war you ended with the sour face ..."_

„_None of your business"_

„ _I don't doubt it." He said resignedly, rubbing his neck. _

_Suddenly to his ears came the voice, he looked toward the gate to see her waving to him and smiling brightly. She called him, as usual, "Kurosaki-kun." He raised with amazed his eyebrows, wondering why he is so moved by it, he should be glad that she decided to pretend that there is nothing between them. As usual, she thought first about his feelings. Sighed heavily, he fed up with his own cowardice, since he dared to ask her to date, why should he hiding it?_

„ _Orihime ..." he said quietly, smiling gently to not scare her. "I thought we agreed that we speaking with each other by our given name."_

"_Um, I know, but I thought that maybe ... You will not want ..." She said embarrassed, blushing slightly._

_Brunet raised quizzically eyebrows, not taking his eyes off the girl. Ichigo did not know when he noticed that his eyes that somehow began to irritate him. Why would he not like it so much? He could not answer that until he heard later from her, what happened a few weeks earlier._

„_Since when you speaking with each other by name?" He asked, adjusting his glasses._

"_A few good days ... You know, it would be weird to talk to own girlfriend by surname."_

_He saw as Orihime blushes and looks down to don't have to look at them, and the boy's eyes widened in disbelief and walked first the class. Since that day, Ishida stopped talking to him if he do not need it._

* * *

He looked amused as Orihime feeding goats on the occasion of escaping from those who called for it portion, regardless if it's get a twig or a piece of clothing. He went to the cages with rabbits, wondering how much Rukia would be shrieking at the sight of them, he was not even sure if by chance she wouldn't abducted it.

"Ichi! Help me ... The goat is just about to eat my purse ..." The girl groaned, running up to him, actually fighting with the goat.

"You don't have anything to eat there?" He asked calmly reaching for the bag strap.

„A bottle of water ..." She said after thinking for a while. "Muooo why it wants to eat my purse?"

"Goats are like this... They like to chew ..." He laughed under his breath, grabbing the bag out of the mouth of the animal. "We'd better go, before it will throw at you."

"And here's the end of the feeding of the animals." She muttered under her breath following him.

He looked at her closely, noting the sadness in her eyes. He sighed heavily, catching her hand, he missed her warm, and besides he was hoping that even in such a simple gesture will chased from her heart all the worries. He wanted to tell her that she's not alone, she can count on him at all times, but he did not dare, afraid of the questions that she may begin to ask to get revenge for his concern. He was not ready for such openness.

They left the zoo exactly after four hours. He felt like his stomach become one with the backbone of hunger, if he had ate a better breakfast, he might be not be so hungry... They got on the bus, which lacked space for breathing. They moved to in depth, to the spot that usually is spent for baby carriage, but with the crowd he doubted that any mother will be so crazy to get on and risk a child's life. He keep his hand on the handle, with Orihime between them, she has based her back to the window.

"It was really great! I have so many pictures!" She looked at him beaming, clutching her hands on his shoulders.

„I'm glad that you like it"

"Ichi ...We'll repeat it once? Maybe not to the Zoo, but there are so many other places ..." She looked at him shyly, blushing with embarrassment. "I'm sorry .. You should study, if you want to get to the med ..."

"I don't mind it. I'll go with a pleasure to many places with you. I don't have to be first on the list, according to my father, I should get with the knowledge that I have, so don't worry about me." He smiled gently, bending it slightly to base his forehead against hers. "Don't worry."

She stared at him, blushing, not believing how close together they are. She could feel how his breath caress her skin. He on the other hand was relishing of her smell, not even knowing of the situation he has created, he was too happy to have her with him to understand the unspoken question in her eyes.

"Um, I know. Just..I'll be feeling little sad... Without you ..." She said softly, trying to drive away the desire to hug him.

„ We'll be fine, you'll see. There are always emails and phone calls. And I'll visiting as often is possible. I will not let you feel lonely."

_If loves a fight, than I shall die,  
With my heart on a trigger._


	5. Emotions

**This time I got a short chapter… Or it's just me and my sick mind? Nevermind. I was reading this again, and I felt like ass. Poor Ichigo, poor Orihime, what I have done to them?! **** I would like tell myself, "never again do something like that you idiot!", but I know myself to well… It's not going be all happy story, cuz in relationships there are dark clouds. But I love IchiHime too much, to not end this with happy end xD. At the beginning I was thought about this story in all different way… There should be sex, happy moments of marriage with many flashback. But I was in no mood to be naughty, so I write something slow, with emotions in the first place. And I was so happy when some Bleach fan told me that she hadn't be a IchiHime fan, but after reading my fiction, she started to belive in them… And I was so excited about this, that I cried, cuz that was my first time to receive such a review. \(*^*\) **

**My friend who read this ask me "What the hell is wrong with Ichigo?! Why he didn't touch her, kiss her? Take her to bed and do many naughty things?!" And I thought "Gosh… Real Isshin in my life…"**

**But in reality I didn't knew how to answer her. Cuz Ichigo think that Orihime would break if he touch her? She is too pure for him? He's gay? But I like this Ichigo who is little scared of being in relationship, that he need to be sure, that Orihime didn't mind this kind of stuff. :D**

* * *

Probably she shouldn't feel guilty. She shouldn't have these nightmares and hidden hatred for herself. Despite the fact that in some part of it, she thanked friends, that they never asked about the reason for her betrayal, that on the other hand, she wondered if she wouldn't feel much better if she could openly tell them about her feelings.

The worst reality which came to her life, was that she was aware that he had lost his powers. Although it was natural to ask the questions like "What would happen if?" some part of her, blamed herself for this, so she tried to help him. However her efforts were in vain, she was unable to gave back his power, and even if he didn't blame her for it, she knew that in deep of his heart he wanted to restore them, to be able to see friends from the Soul Society, but also to be able again to protect his sisters.

So she decided to become stronger. Work on her powers. She didn't want to see in her life again, THIS view. She decided not to let him die ever again. She felt little sad, seeing how distanced they become in this time, like if their relationship was based solely on the struggles with Hollows.

Yes, she was jealous.

She was angry that she couldn't spend time with him like normal students at their age.

She was afraid to put pressure on him in any extent. She didn't want him to shut up himself from her in any way. She didn't want him to tell her that she has to leave him alone. She knew that her fear for this was a pure abstraction without the cover like Tatsuki told her many times, but she couldn't fought out this thoughts. She was not Rukia.

And when she began to be convinced that everything has stabilized and there will be major problems, she has felt that was something is wrong with him. She was so scared, of the possibility of a new enemy that she has overcome her fear, and after her work she went to him to talk about it.

She was surprised when he invited her to his room. She knew him well enough to know that he doesn't like invite anyone to his room, she had a suspicion that the exception was Rukia, but she never openly didn't ask about it.

She was nervous with the whole intimate situation that arose between them, it knocked her out of her provisions draw out from him what's going on. She was embarrassed and felt like her legs tremble every time he had moved. When silence appear between them which was already known for long time, like this was suggesting that they really don't have anything to talk about, she decided to utter her doubts. However, as she expected, he didn't said anything, as usual he closed his heart from her.

Her promise to herself that she never made him any problems that she will not stand in the way, was ruined by her own stupidity. Of course, her character didn't allow her to ignore the situation that took place in front of her, and her heart and shock after the attack caused her to ensure him that everything was okay, that nothing was happened to her.

And then she betrayed him in the worst possible way.

* * *

She woke up still sleepy and disoriented. For a moment she hoped that her brother would be heard around the house, trying not to wake her, but the result like always was the opposite. She sighed heavily, reaching for cell phone. She had three hours to meet with Ichigo. The truth was that she didn't feel like to go anywhere, or even get out of bed.

Yesterday she felt the familiar shinigami reiatsu , belonging to the short brunette. She wanted to call Ichigo and ask if Rukia will sleep in his house, but she gave up. She didn't want to show up her jealous side. Problems with her feelings should be resolve by herself and also she was angry at herself, that she told him about her troubles with her education. She was afraid of what would he say if he knew that her aunt stopped sending the money to maintain since her school results were not so good, and she worked in a bakery. Of course, her salary was enough to pay the bills, but what was left weren't enough, so the food she had to buy in stores with promotions. She was under impressed with how this has changed her life. She have never suffered from the influx of cash, but she've never had to make so many sacrifices.

Finally, forcing her body to fully mobilize she stood up and walked unsteadily toward the bathroom. On a date with Ichigo she wanted to look nice, that he wouldn't have to be ashamed of her, so she always devoted to prepare a little more time than usual.

She walked slowly to the designated place, hoping that she can offer him the home-cooked meal. She knew that her cooking wasn't successful, sometimes even for her was awful in taste, but she just couldn't throw away it. Since when she officially started to date with Ichigo she wanted to learn how to cook normal food, so the he wouldn't have to fear for his stomach. Unfortunately, at house she had only notes that was recorded as a child while cooking programs and how quickly she convinced it there was a lot of bugs in it. However, a few days before, she had borrowed from Tatsuki a cookbook and started in her spare time read it, and even try out the easier recipes.

She looked up in surprise to the stairs, which separate her from meeting with Ichigo. She smiled brightly, unable to wait for his reaction when he sees her. Finally, for the first time she dressed her lace dress to the knee in a delicate shade of pink, short denim jacket, and white low-heeled sandals that wouldn't tired legs. Hairpins was on the left side of the head, holding fringe in one direction, and clasped hair in braid, which going to the left side of head. She had looked at the boys, as she walked to proof herself that she looks girly enough and when she thought about this, she dreamed how Ichigo will kiss her today.

As soon as the thought of their first kiss appear, her face flushed, so she even felt as her cheeks were burning. In amazed she looked around the square, hoping that no one noticed her embarrassment. Sometimes she preferred to be self-confident like Tatsuki always advises her, but it was inconsistent with her character!

When she calmed down she looked in the direction of cherry, under which she has to meet with him. But the view that were before her eyes, wasn't what she was expected. Ichigo was already there, but not alone - with Rukia, and he even held her hand. She didn't know when she turned and ran quickly down the stairs, sobbing quietly.

* * *

_~~Flashback~~_

_It was the same day, when all their friends discovered their relationship. She didn't know when she was taken out by Tatsuki and the rest of the girls on the site to be able to talk calmly. But she doubted that the topic of conversation could be speaking with calm, or at least enough to be able to freely respond to their suggestions._

_Just as she had expected, she was attacked with questions and concerns.__With each subsequent word she felt pale and her decision to be tough and not to doubt what was happening had decreased, especially when Tatsuki asked THESE questions._

_Ichigo told her that he is not sure if it's love. So she cannot assure them, much less herself that the relationship is built on such a great feeling, at least on his part. She knew that she really loves him, but she didn't think that her feeling will be enough to give them both happiness. She don't know how she would had react, if he had said that this was not it. She thought that probably her heart would just break and she would no longer be able to give at least substitute for this feeling, if it in general would be that possible._

_When they asked whether it is not just a replacement for the feelings for Rukia, she couldn't answer it. Ichigo never said that he feels something for Rukia, but he didn't say a lot of things. He was not a person who shares his personal life. And she was just too scared to talk about it. She was afraid he would be mad at her, that she still hadn't give up on the issue._

_Finally, since that night, when she had told him about her feelings, she didn't touch on it. He told her enough to calm her down, but she couldn't be sure if it was true. Ichigo was not the person who agrees to live with the knowledge that because of him someone close suffers._

_When Chizuru asked if he wants only her body, she could answer straight that he don't. He didn't want her that way. He have never done anything in this direction. The physical contact was actually minimal. Often she had the impression that he was afraid to touch her, it is a last resort for him._

_Later that day she returned from school low and uncertain of their relationship, which she had dreamed of since she realized how much he means to her. She wasn't even sure if she will be able to talk normally with him or not tell him right away how sad he feels because of his way of treating her._

_But I know that Ichigo doesn't like showing affection in public ... That's why so many people misjudge him. However, he could change it a little bit, just a little bit, that I wouldn't feel so empty .. -She thought bitterly, not noticing when Ichigo stood in her way._

"_Ichigo ..." she moaned in surprise, dropping her gaze automatically. She was so ashamed to look him in the eyes, and finally, a few minutes earlier she doubted his person and his intentions._

„_Girls take you for questioning huh?" He said quietly, staring at her intently. "What's wrong?"_

_She shook her head, smiling brightly. She couldn't tell him about her emotions about their relationship. __She just couldn't._

* * *

She sat in tears at the river, watching the sunset. Her swollen, red eyes were still strong visible, she spent almost the whole day on crying. In her run she turned off her cell, fearing that, if he called, she wouldn't have the strength anymore to hide her emotions and problems. She didn't want him to know the real her.

_Stupid ... Even if I don't see him today, I have to go to school tomorrow, and I'll have to look him in the face. What then I do? If I only stopped my foolish tongue ..._ She thought desperate, wanted to cry, but had no tears for this.

She thought that a normal girl probably would run to her boyfriend demanded an explanation, or shouted something to him in the face and then escaped to home, or to the arms of another to cry. But she didn't want to show him how much she's jealous of Rukia, she knew how much short shinigami meant to him, he followed her to the Soul Society! What the right she have to tell him how she feels uncomfortable when she sees their relationship? The ties that to outsiders associate more with loving than friendship, and they could hardly be called a pair! How much she hated herself for that jealousy, greed for wanting possess him all to herself! It was much easier to endure when they weren't a couple, but now it's too late.

She didn't have anybody to run and let herself to cry. Each option meant that either Ichigo would gets it for his behavior, and she in spite of a broken heart she couldn't let that happen, because she loved him too much for this, or he will lose friends, not just Ishida.

She sank helplessly on the grass staring at the orange sky, soon in the sky it will be see stars and it gets colder, but she didn't have the strength to get up and go back to her apartment. Sometimes she wondered how it would look like, if in Ichigo life Rukia didn'tappeared or other shinigamis. As now staring at the clouds thinking about it, she knew that they wouldn't speak to each other more than usual greetings, they would be always just friends from school, nothing more, probably her heart would never loved him so much. If only she didn't know how nice a man he is, then maybe she wouldn't talk to him at all.

_It's not like I didn't know about it. From the beginning I felt that a person who causes him to smile is Rukia. Every time she was able to comfort him, I never had access to his heart ..._ She thought, feeling that once again she's on the verge of tears.

She hated herself for it.

However she couldn't win with this, it was stronger than her will.

„Orihime!" She heard his panicked voice behind her. She heard him running toward her, but she had no strength to get up and run, or do anything. She waited, but she didn't know for what. " What happened?! Why didn't you answer your cell phone?! Orihime! I was looking for you all day!"

He ran up to her panting, kneeling beside her. He stared at her intently as if searching for damage, which would suggest that she got into a fight, but couldn't find anything like that, and his eyes were filled with even more anxiety.

„What happened?" He touched her cheek, wiping away a falling tear. Finally he saw the state of her eyes, she heard his heavily sighs and how he looking for something in his pockets.

She watched him in silence, unable to utter a word. How would she admit that she was completely consumed by jealousy? She closed her eyes, only to feel like he attaches to her face a damp handkerchief. She smiled softly, unable to bear his courtesy, which deprived her of any anger against him.

„ Today I met Rukia." He said quietly, reaching for her hand. She was glad that her eyes were behind the tissue, which he cannot see her emotions. "She came with Renji to do their routine patrol. This idiot didn't tell me she was here! I think I met him two weeks ago after the school and he not said a word about Rukia." His voice expressed annoyance for some reason, but she didn't want to think about what made him so sick. " That's good, that they live at Urahara. I didn't missed waking up and finding her again in the closet, this woman is able to do so. It is not even possible to be a normal teenager with her in the room. " He muttered under his breath, rubbing her hand gently. "In any case, as I saw her, that's for my happiness before she ran to welcome me with her another kick, she capsized. Pity that you didn't seen, it was hilarious, but of course when I already calmed myself, I helped her to get up. Really, I don't know who gave her the rank of lieutenant, since she can barely run." He laughed quietly, staring at the girl which was still lying. " She told me that she felt your reiatsu ... I waited for you, but when she said, that you're receding at a rapid pace. I ran behind you, but heh, Rukia was not eager to help me, and I can no longer locate people just like before. See all this nonsense, and not be able to find your own girl. It's so fuckin' lame."

She don't durable. She started crying, hiding face in her hands. Muttered under her breath apology, mixed with statements about her stupidity. He hugged her close, stroking her hair slowly, allowing her to find the time to calm down.

"I should probably be angry that you undermines my feelings. On the other hand I cannot be angry at you Hime. I know that my relationship with Rukia look pretty ... it may be described as romantic as Keigo told me other time, but believe me, I don't feel anything, what you could hook under this label. Sure it would be a lot easier if I could openly show my affection and call a spade a spade. However, you can be sure that you are for me the most important person in the world. I don't want to lose you."

Clung to him, sobbing softly. Her hysteria was slowly leaving her under the influence of his touch and voice. She closed her eyes, enjoying the moment.

She loved him.

She loved him too much, that she felt a pain thinking about how many problems she creates him.

She hated herself for her jealousy, that she doesn't appreciate him as much as she should.

She hated herself for it, that she couldn't trust him.

"I'm sorry Ichi ... I guess I'm the worst girlfriend in the world ..." she said quietly, slowly rising from the ground.

He stared at her with incomprehension. He wanted to say something, but she shook her head, clenching fists tighter. She had to do it.

„I'm sorry Ichigo. I will not be able to keep my promise. I can't restore your smile ..."

She saw his eyes widen in surprise, but before he could examine the meaning of her words, she had long turned away and ran toward her house.

She loved him too much to allow herself to harm him.

_Walking through the city streets  
Is it by mistake or design?_


	6. Flirt

He promised that he would protect her.

He had the power to do it. He wasn't a normal teenager. It doesn't matter how long he was trying to believe that his desire was to be like the others, but when he had the opportunity to it... he hated it. To be on mercy of others, looking how his friends replace him in the killing Hollows. No matter how many times he ignore the comments of others about Rukia and his life of shinigami, his thoughts still came back to the days when he could protect those who were important to him.

Through his frustration he again withdrew from the lives of their friends. He didn't want been protected by them, so he avoid them as he could. He avoided her.

How could he just be beside her, knowing that he couldn't protect her? Of course, she hadn't required it, never once reminded him of his promise. She was such a person. That's why he was worried. From the day on which he opened the clinic door and saw her in the blood of her dying brother. He couldn't leave her alone, but he was afraid to get too close to her. What if she die because of him?

It was strange to woke up knowing that he wasn't the only substitute shinigami, that a few days ago he killed Ginjou. He killed a man like him. The first time he really killed someone being aware of it. He wanted to cry. He felt awful, and his heart bled. Guilt. He hated it.

He didn't understand himself. He should push these feelings to the bottom and be angry at them for lying, for how they treated his friends and family. But he was mad at himself. He didn't trust his own father, even though he told him that he doesn't have to say anything if he don't feel up to it. And what? It was enough to heard few words from barely knewn people to lose his faith. He hated himself for not talking to her so often, so he didn't felt the changes in her, that he didn't protected her from Tsukishima.

He was an idiot who looked only for the chance to recover his power. He was ignorant.

He heard the doorbell. He hoped that someone is at home and will open door for him. But at home was heard only a silence. When he concentrated, he sensed who is on the other side of the door. He knew that if he don't stand up and doesn't open the door, she would go somewhere and don't ever tell him that she wanted to visit him. She never done that.

He got up and went downstairs completely forgetting that he is in his pajamas, and currently doesn't resemble himself. He just couldn't got a grip after all. He was a murderer. No matter how he looked at it.

When he opened her door, saw how she blushes and stammers. It was only then when he realized that he doesn't look good. He sighed heavily, unable to change that. He had invited her inside and apologized. He didn't know why, but he felt that he should say it. She smiled gently and put into his hands a croissant.

He wanted to ask her what was going on, why she gives him the croissant. Why she not commented on what happened? Then he remembered. She did not remember that at all. She don't remember that Tsukishima lived and had changed her memories. He didn't know what to say, how to talk if he don't want to hurt the other person?

Then she said that she had baked it herself and wanted him to try.

He paled.

He knew that her cooking is specific. He understood that was her way of killing time, loneliness and thoughts. That what he was doing when he went into a fight with different peoples. At first he wanted to give her back the bread with excuse of a disease. But he couldn't, when he looked in her eyes. How could he say no to her?

He ate whole snack and with pure heart he could said that it was delicious.

He didn't know when his heart stopped curling up of guilt. But he known that he had for long time the taste of the croissant in his mouth.

* * *

She avoided him. Throughout the week, she managed to escape before he would approach her. He didn't know what was happening, hell, he didn't know why exactly it happened.

A week ago on Saturday morning he was sitting in a room thinking about what they would do on a date. He was thinking of taking her to the cinema, and later maybe to the pump room of chocolate. That was the plan. He went to the appointed place, they first had to buy prediction that they would take to the Sora grave. It was his birthday, and this time she wanted to give him a prediction. He waited there, wondering how to get her to the cinema. He knew that she could be stubborn, especially when it came to their dating. For some reason she didn't want him to fund her anything. And then he met Rukia.

Of course, he could claim that when she appears in his life, it always sign that something going to change. As he pointed out not necessarily for the better. He wanted to find her and tell her something unpleasant. But he couldn't do that. He know that they already returned to the Soul Society, and he couldn't longer to get there as easily as before.

He had the impression that no one knows about their parting. Everybody was like before. He still keep off Chizuru from Orihime. He was not stupid. Subconsciously he understand why she hasn't said anyone about them. She didn't want him to lose friends, or gained a few bruises. He was even deluded that it can be a chance to regain her back if he could talk to her, everything would back to normal. But what normalcy he expecting?

"Ichigo! Introduce me to some girl!" Keigo ran up to him in tears, falling on his knees.

"I don't know what you mean. If I knew any." Irritated he was looking in their sight Mizuiro.

"Of course, you know! Every now and then are turn up some girls from Soul Society! Come on!"

He sighed heavily, he couldn't help with way of Keigo thinking. But now his words weren't helping him. He saw Orihime looks at him with sadness, but before he could say anything she turned away on her heel and ran off from class.

Angry at Keigo he pushed him away, thanking him for his barking on the issue, which wasn't true. He turned on the hall leading to the gym when he had noticed Tatsuki. She looked at him sharply as if seeking confirmation in her assumption.

"She broke up with me." He said quietly, leaning against the wall.

"I thought so. Recently, she isn't herself, or she just noticed that you are a hopeless case." She said dryly, playing with a bottle of water.

"Did she tell you anything?" He ignored her words, not having the strength to arguing with her. He didn't want to sink even more.

"No. And this is the biggest problem Ichigo. Orihime from a few months isn't talking with me at all, she don't tell me anything, that would make me upset. For some reason she closed her heart from all people."

"Do you have any idea why could she do that?"

"I don't know, Ichigo, and it bothers me! I've never felt so repelled by her. Even when you fought in the solitude with this hollows or whatever, she was able to talk to me, now she barely can look me in the eyes. I asked her neighbors and according to them, nothing special happened. Nobody visits her except me and you."

He closed his eyes, feeling deceived. He hoped that Tatsuki would know more, but her position was the same as his. For some reason, Orihime closed her heart to everyone. _From some unknown cause her heart has been lost._

He returned to the class in which she was already. She was already sitting on her place reading a book. He thought that was English, which she had to improve her skills. This what he's most afraid is his aware that he has only a month. After this time, he will have to move to Tokyo to study and wouldn't be able to see her as often as if he wanted to.

Before he had sat on his seat, he saw Ishida comes to class with his typical clouded face. But in his eyes was something that disturbed him.

His heart ached with the unnamed fear. This vague feeling which he had when he has awakened in that day- returned. He wanted to get up and come to her and force her to repeat her promise to never leave him, but the teacher entered the room and ordered everyone to sit down. She sat still in place, tucking her book in bag. But the fear remained in him.

* * *

_~~Flashback~~_

_He was sitting on the couch eating pocky. Wearily, he looked at the TV screen, wondering why people waste their time watching stupid TV series. Yuzu and Karin were vigorously commenting everything what they saw, and even laugh of some gags, which he did not see._

"_Ichigo, my son!" he felt at the occiput foot of his father, but before he had time to duck he was lying on the ground._

_He got up quickly, getting ready for a rematch, when he saw that beside his father is Orihime, who was blushing shyly with her usual worried look. He clenched his fists thinking of revenge when they would be alone, but now he took a deep breath to calm himself._

"_Are you mad?! I could die!" He growled harshly to him, coming to her. " I'm sorry for him. He's too stupid to understand that not everyone is built of titanium. Is something wrong?"_

_She shook head, smiling gently. " I just thought that I'll visit you..."_

_He felt that he was blushing. He was sure that with any other person he would turned it into a joke, or a trick, but he subconsciously felt that she was telling the truth. She wanted to visit him. She felt so alone in her apartment, that she came to him. She came because she missed. She missed HIM._

"_I'm sorry, I lost the habit of regular visits. Come on, let's go to my room."_

„_Ichigo, I respect your privacy and really would be content with the grandkids, but think about your future ..."_

_He couldn't resist. Looking at his stupid smile could not help it. He hit him with full force on the cheek, knocking him to the ground. He heard a scream of Orihime, a groan of pain belonged to his father and surprise squeak of his sisters. He grabbed his girlfriend by hand and dragged her to his room. He didn't want to comment on what had happened. He knew that for sure he's red as a beet, but the confusion on her face touched him deeply. He didn't understand how his father could say it out loud!_

"_I'm sorry for him. Don't pay attention to it, he's a bit of a fool ..." he muttered perplexed, sitting down on the bed. " Really, sometimes I wish he would lost speech, it would be much more convenient."_

"_Don't say that ..." She sat down next to him, looking insistently at his hands. " I think your dad is very funny and very concern about you."_

"_He cares?! You know how many times I had bruises because of him?!"_

"_Um, I don't know ... But you were better in fighting because of that, right?"_

_He looked at her carefully, analyzing her words. Even if he really didn't want to admit it, she was right. If not for "the training" that his father gave him, he wouldn't advise with struggles and pain so well._

"_I'm sorry, I came without warning."_

"_Nah, it's all right. If I can tell the truth I'm glad you came. Your company is much better than watching this stupid program about ghost busters." He smiled softly, staring at her intensely._

* * *

He went to work with his head down. So, as usual, Orihime ran off from him, not giving him time to stop her. He could go to her work and ask for a talk, but he didn't want to do something that would cause her the trouble. He had to do something before he runs out of time, before it's too late.

"You know what is said about love, Kurosaki?" Known male voice said behind him, forcing him to stop.

He took a deep breath turning to the brunet, who looked at him impassively. And yet Ichigo sensed in him something that irritated him. Something in his eyes didn't fit and he couldn't understand it, or described it.

"I don't know what you mean. There are many texts about love." He replied brusquely putting hands in his pocket.

The boy smiled mysteriously, adjusting glasses. "In love what is really matters is the time."

He raised his eyebrows quizzically, not understanding what he really meant. He hated when it was said to him with implications, which he couldn't figure out, especially when person who says that was the person who is his love rival.

"Don't you understand, Kurosaki? Your time is up. She would not come back to you!"

He clenched his fists, trying to calm down, but the more he looked at it, the more he felt the resentment and anger. He lowered his head, counting to ten. He really wanted to make friends with him. Once.

"This time, I'll get her and protect better than you."

**POW!**

Ishida looked at him in horror spitting blood. He was panting with rage, looking at his hand. He straightened slowly, looking at him with curiously. The boy, however, didn't said a word, just dropped his eyes not wanting to provoke him harder.

"Leave her alone, Ishida!"

He turned and ran in the direction of his work. Behind him, wasn't heard absolutely nothing. His heart was plunged into darkness, which he fear it. He knew it. The darkness that enveloped him every time when something slipped out of his hands. When he was helpless in keeping his promises.

He bite his lip, trying to ward off the tears. He didn't want to felt this, didn't want to damage the relationship with Ishida, but in this case he couldn't have acted otherwise. He couldn't lose her. He just couldn't.

When he had came to the place, he saw her. Sitting on the step with a small bag on her lap. She had looked up at him, staring intently. And he, with every moment has shrank into himself and awkwardly tried to hide his bloody hand. She got up slowly, walking over to him and handed him the package. She didn't said a word, as she moved toward her work, she even wasn't waving. He opened the bag and saw in it that same croissant from the past.

He smiled to himself, feeling like the tears were slowly streaming down his cheeks.

_They say before you start a war,  
You better what you're fighting know for_


	7. Gestures

She do not know if she ever doubted him, that there was a time that she was afraid of him.

She was afraid.

Then when he founded this mask. She was terrified, but not him.

It hit her that memory of hollow which came to be her own brother, her sin, which she could not erase.

When Nell began to shout at her, reminded her that the person who is fighting for her life, for her safety, was not her brother. It was He, and definitely he did not hurt her. She believed in it since ever, but she could not help thoughts that for a moment captured her mind.

She did not want him to suffer through her, that he would die in her defense. She didn't deserve it.

So when he won with Grimmjow she was happy. She knew that she have to heal him and they would be able to go back to Karakura, that everything will return to normal, but then there was that Nnoitra. She was captured by Tessla and looked at him in horror as he was on the edge of death, still holding the sword in hand and whispering her name. How she wanted to die! How much she would prefer that he never come for her, than to see how in every moment is closer to death.

She didn't expect that Aizen will bring her back to himself. All the more, did not expect his words. She felt like her stomach was jumping dangerous to throat, and her legs bend under pressure. Because of her Karakura, her hometown and the friends were in danger. She could not show those emotions, hiding them in the depths of herself, because she believed in him.

And despite the burning pain in the heart she watched his fight with Ulquiorra. She trembled at the thought that he could die, she had a bad feeling. She wanted to run away to him and scream that her life is not worth it. She knew him enough to know what he would do if he heard her decisions. He would be mad. Very mad. Whenever she needed him to come and save her, he done it regardless of his life. And she could only look at his back and believe that he would return to her. That he's not going to die.

She loved his concern about her, that he always first think about other than himself. Although at that time she would prefer that he had just fight with everything he had and did not look at her, even if his power level would hurt her. But he always showed her this side of himself that she more and more fall in love with him. His words, smiles, and simple hand gestures that for others would not matter. For her that was everything.

She never really falls into a panic. She don't allow herself to lose consciousness. The last time she had this condition, were when her brother died, and then being in that place, looking down at his body, with a hole passing through the chest, she could not think consciously. She shivered, feeling her weakness. No one can she save it. She deprive everyone of life. She was so scared and despair with situation, she called him. She wanted him to tell her what to do, how to stop the circle of death. Instead, she saw how he turned into a monster, totally abandoning his humanity. FOR HER.

She wasn't Rukia, she was weak and helpless. But she did not turn away from him, she could not escape from her crime. That's all she could do for him. ONLY THIS. Believe in his heart.

* * *

She thought that she will be fine, it just all comes back to the state before their friendship was actually begun. She could not be more wrong. Why she forget that he can be stubborn? She barely managed to avoid him, in the evening when she came home she could not do nothing but cry. She missed him, even though she had him at hand, she was not worth it, not with her fragile heart. If she were just a little bit more like Rukia, maybe she could be with him?

She was so afraid to tell anyone about what had happened. She did not know how they would react. She could not bear their questions, and evaluate her or him. How she hated him for this kindness, that he still protect her from people in the school. It would be better if he just ignored her, then she wouldn't miss him so much.

Why she give him the croissant? It was her special pastry croissant with strawberry flavored chocolate filled with a hint of mint. It was perfect in every aspect, and she always did it thinking about him. That's why it came out, because it was his croissant. She should not give it to him, she should ignore the need to see him, to make sure that everything is alright. But this is what she saw surprised her. His bloody hand, which he awkwardly tried to hide, it was a sign that he really talked with Ishida. Probably she should run to Ishida and to apologize, to tell him anything, but she did not. She went straight to work, unable to get up the courage to stand against Ichigo. Because her heart always belonged to him and was not able to evaluate him. Not in a negative sense. She knew his vices, she knew that he was not ideal. She wasn't stupid. However, for her he was perfect because he was what he should be for her heart, she accept him as he is. She did not require anything more. To fill the void in her heart.

She sighed, sitting down on the grass and staring blankly at the sun. Tomorrow she'll go to school again and again she'll run from him. She began to think that she don't do anything else, but escape from him. From his kindness.

"Inoue-san." Calm male voice said behind her.

"Ishida-kun." She said softly, turning to face him. She noticed the bandage on his right cheek and a cut lip. She sighed heavily, unable to believe that Ichigo hit him with such force.

„What are you doing here so late?" He went to her, looking intently at the landscape in front of them. He looked like he fought with his thoughts.

„I wonder what I should do with myself. This the last days."

"You broke up with him, right?" He said flatly, turning his gaze to her. He looked irritated, definitely she did not like this sight in him.

" Um, somehow it happened ..."

" Might give me a chance? You will not have to compete with anyone on my heart. I'll give you what you need!"

She looked at him in shock, not knowing what to say. This has happened too fast, her heart still belonged to Ichigo. She frowned, feeling the tears fill her eyes. Why do he always forced her to give him more hits? Didn't she already told him that she will not be able to reciprocate his feelings? She opened her mouth to say something, she should say that no matter how much time has passed, she will never love him. Because her heart will always belong to Ichigo. Even if he does not want it.

"You can say what you want. However, you never make her happy like me!" He was standing near them, looking with rage at the boy.

She felt like her heart speed up the work, cause of what he said. Sobbed quietly, she get up slowly, she had to get away from him. If she does not, she'll hurt him again with her love.

„ Kurosaki ..." Ishida snarled under his breath, putting his hands in pocket. He was not going to fight him again, he still felt his blow.

Orihime ran away from them, wiping her eyes from tears which obscured the view before her.

* * *

_It was after the war of Quincy, when she finally regained power and was able to leave the house. During this time, she wondered what she should do. She heard from Tatsuki how Ichigo coped with all this mess, now going to the school she did not know what to do. How to talk to him? How to behave around him?_

_In the depths of herself she already knew the answer, she should let him go, stop messing in his life and hope that he will protect her when she need it. Too much he already did for her, he don't have to do anything else._

_With such determination she came to the school and greet with friends. Following the lobby she heard many comments about her, she learned to ignore it, because contrary to appearances, she felt hurt, how others perceive her. She felt that it would made her __like her mother. She did not know why she have the aversion to the person who gave her life, but she did not want to know her origin. Because if it was something to te__ll, Sora would tell her._

"_Hey!" She said happily going to class._

_She sat as usual in her place, smiling at friends, who began to question her about where she was. She told them about the chronic illness that caught her in bed for a long time._

_And that the week passed with a new peaceful life. Life without Ichigo. Of course, she greeted him when he came to the class, but did not come to him in a deeper interaction. Tatsuki asked her several times what was going on, that again she distanced herself from him. But she waved her hands and denied everything. How she could admit that she do not have anything in reality to talk about with him? The end of the war it really is the end of relationship with him._

_To her surprise, someone sent her a message to meet on the school roof. Not suspecting anything she went at the appointed spot on time. There she saw a boy from a younger year. For a moment she thought that he would ask for her help in studying, but instead she heard something completely different._

"_Inoue-san! Please be my girlfriend! I really like you and I will be respect you, really!" He bowed low, trembling under the influence of her eyes._

_She felt speechless. Her voice stuck in her throat. She have never experienced this kind of situations. She wanted to refuse such as heart told her, because she did not want a loveless relationship, and she was not sure whether his fascination with her appearance would made them both happy. But then she thought that maybe this would be a perfect drug to cut all links connecting her with Ichigo that she may eventually learn to love this guy if she give him a chance._

„ _Oi Inoue, there you are." She heard his voice and felt the tears coming to her eyes. How could she cheat herself? There wasn't a chance to forget about Ichigo, even if he does not return her feelings._

„_Kurosaki-kun ..." She moaned in surprised, turning to him. " Is something wrong?"_

_Ichigo faced boy still in a bow position with unpleasant sight. He walked over to the girl, his hands in pocket. Orihime looked at him curiously, waiting for him to say something. She completely forgot about the guy who confessed to her before the moment of his love._

" _Get lost brat. You don't get anything." Ichigo finally snapped, looking as pale guy ran to the stairs. " Did he picked on you?"_

_She shook her head, feeling stupid. She had to find later the boy and apologize to him. She bit her lower lip, feeling crazy beating of her heart. She was thinking that it was going to jump out of her chest and run to the other end of the world just to burn with shame, or happiness._

" _What's wrong? I'm sorry I did not visit when we return, you know the case of the Soul Society was not easy, and my father yelled that I shouldn't hide my tail and allow them to this. I still feel stupid." He said flustered, escaping from her eyes._

" _Oh, it's nothing. Anyway, I wasn't much alive that time, so even better that you haven't seen me." She smiled brightly, playing with her fingers._

"_I'm sure it wasn't that bad. If I was stronger this may not happened ... and you'd haven't to work so hard" He muttered dryly, comb hair with a hand. " In any case" He looked at her, full of old determination. " Even if I do not have night work and stuff like that related to my former occupation, you must know that I still want us to be friends."_

_She looked at him in surprise, blushing slightly. If she had enough courage, she might tell him what she feels ..._

„_So I'll say, just in case, if in your twisted mind, you born the idea that this is the end of our friendship. We just have to find another bond, instead of fighting with hollows." He smiled slightly, moving toward the exit. "Come Inoue."_

" _Hai." She said happily, running up to him._

* * *

She walked slowly towards the school, feeling with each step that her heart is getting heavier. In fact, she wanted to take the day off to have time to organize everything, but she did not have that privilege. In three days she will graduate and will be left with nothing. She felt helpless and stupid, she wanted to find a way out for herself, but no matter how much she thought about it, she could not figure out what she could do, where she was able to fit.

_Only what is good for me is killing people I care about ..._ -she thought bitterly, wiping her eyes with the back of palm.

„Hime."

She stopped in her tracks, not being able to move up a step. His voice in front of her, quiet, without a shadow of negative emotions. She lost her the possibility of breath for a second, but when she felt his hands on her, muscles had relaxed, and her breath become calm.

His scent teased her nose, yet reassured her, causing her feel safe. And she do not know when she started to cry burying in him. She sobbed quietly, hiding her face from him. How could she live without him?

He slowly stroked her head, waiting her to weep and be able to listen to him. He gave their friends sign to just go forward and left them alone. He felt her hands tighten on his back, as if she was afraid that he was going to disappear.

„It wouldn't be easier if we just go back to each other? Hime, I cannot go forward without having you next to me." He whispered in her ear, smiling to himself when her whimper gone quiet under the influence of his spoken words.

Orihime knew she should push him away and run to school. Isn't she broke up with him, to not hurt him with her love? Now it was enough that he came from the direction which she had not expected it. And there she was cuddled into him, reveling in his scent, his touch. How much would she have to be selfish to afford it? If she wan't born, he would not have to suffer, he would not have to die to protect her. He would be a lot happier, so why he said it? Why he awakens chaos in her heart that she cannot think rationally? She tried to calm down and take control of her heart and push him away, she really wanted him happiness, but he held her firmly.

"Hime ... Don't leave me. Without you, I'm not that strong. I need you. I don't want you again to disappeared from my life, please ..."

She always knew that Ichigo is not the type of person who speaks loudly about his feelings. He's rather someone who turns his heart by deeds. From the beginning, she felt that probably she never hear from his lips the words like "I love you." But now his statements she could not treated differently than a declaration of love, expanded into smaller, less significant particle.

She had heard from Rukia about how he reacted when he heard about her betrayal. She could not believe it that it was about her. She had not expected this, but did she ever expect that Kurosaki Ichigo take her in his arms, and will ask her to come back to him? Of course not! All her imagination about their relationship was based on a children's absurd things. Because she never really thought that he could loved her.

Inoue most commonly in the world did not know how to love. She did not understand how to move in this topic to not hurt Ichigo, to give him happiness. She had no one to ask about it. The whole experience went from the manga, which she read in her spare time. And as she discovered it haven't have much with reality.

She did not want to lose him, he was for her very important person. No. He was her drug, her air. Without him, she did not exist. Since she only saw him in the clinic, holding the body of her brother, she felt that she was born to meet him. How much she admired him then, even now she does. Maybe it is her silly habit, she may have naive character, but she could not live otherwise. Ichigo Kurosaki was everything to her. She can safely say that she hated this awareness, how much she dependent on him. If he asked her to die. She would do it with a smile on her lips. Because she preferred to die than be a burden to him.

„Hime ..." He whispered softly, but she sensed in his tone uncertainty, he hugged her tighter, making it difficult for her to breathe.

Fortunately, she always associate with her brother and times that they spent. When she was younger she hadn't have really a friends. By her hair and hair she was persecuted in the school. She was used to hate herself for what she is. When Sora died, her aversion to herself even more increased, as well as a sense of loneliness. She did not had anyone. And at the funeral there was not a lot of people, but they all looked at her with contempt. Later, her happiness was the friendship with Tatsuki. However, Inoue was greedy. She wanted more happiness, because she wanted to erase with it void in her heart.

"Um, Ichi cannot breathe ..." She stammered with difficulty, finally letting go of his jacket.

He pushed her gently apart, his hands on her shoulders, as if he was fearing that she will run away. He looked at her with concern, wiping her cheeks from tears residues. She could not raise the eyes, staring at the ground, wondering what she should actually say. Do she have the right to say anything?

" You are a liar Ichi. All you did, was in order to protect your family. Not for me." She said softly, clenching her hands on his shoulders. "And you're awful! Because I cannot pretend that you're nothing for me, that you don't mean anything, that you are a thing of the past. Because Ichi fill the emptiness in my heart, because I can't be alone anymore ... You're terrible Ichi." The last sentence she stammered as her body shook again with sobbing.

„It's true that I did it mostly for my family. However, I always returning from the fighting for you, because I didn't want you to cry." He said quietly, stroking her hair. " Hime, let me continue to fill your heart."

She nodded, not being able to say anything that would be associated with human speech. She buried herself again in his arms, allowing him to soothed her with his touch.

If she didn't met him, she would still be lonely. Because all started from _that_ _day_.

_Can we make it feel like home,_

_ If I tell you you're mine _

* * *

**(A/N) I know how you feel Orihime, I also don't know what to do with myself... xD Too many ideas about Ichihime... c.c But they're so sweet , I can't stop myself to love them... Am I sick? xDD**


	8. History

When he was small he paid no attention to his name, or hair. Even the fact that the other kids laughed at him, it did not matter to him in the slightest importance. For him, it only mattered his mother's opinion. He loved her. He wanted to protect her and spend with her every moment. He could not imagine life without her.

She was his sun, smile, strength. As soon as he saw her, the whole joy of life came back to him with a vengeance. All the sadness lurking in the shadows, never reaching his heart. But even then he had a sufficient level of spiritual energy, to see people who he was not supposed to. He could not tell difference between the living from the dead person. They were for him just as real. Maybe he should tell his parents? Maybe if he had betrayed his anxiety, by then he would reacted differently?

How could he live without the sun? Without the person he swore to protect?

But he had to do it, because of his ignorance, by his folly, the sun went out. Forever.

He became absorbed in selfish pain. Did not pay any attention to the other, he saw only his suffering, his sense of guilt. Later, his family made him realize he was not alone in the pain, that they all have the mark of death themselves and to survive, they must supported each others.

Since that day he decided to protect his sister. Since the death of his Mother, he could distinguish the souls and men. He could also see black shadows, which resulted in him goose bumps. In the future, these black shadows have changed in the Hollows. But even then he did everything possible to protect them from it. He did not know whether waving with a stick was enough, but he did what he could to not lose no one else.

He did not want anyone to experience the same pain. He experienced it all too deeply, so that he could not get rid of it. He sat in him, and eat him from the inside. No longer able to laugh and take everything with distance. He could not ignore the comments of others about his appearance or name. It was his way to deal with pain. Each new bruise chased for a while the feeling of emptiness. And on his face appear characteristic scowl. Deterred from him each girl, and most of the boys.

Because he did not want let someone into his heart anymore.

But despite his efforts, more and more people were able to break the walls and become his friends, and yet he began friendship with Chad. He thought that it would like this forever.

But then on a rainy evening, he opened the door for her. He saw in her eyes the same pain that he felt a few years earlier, when he lost his mother. He had the same hope as she, that his father manages to save her brother that she would not have to cry anymore.

Death, however is relentless and does not like to give it victims.

Since that day, as soon as he saw her, he had been watching her. Each time he felt more anxious to see the new bandages on her body.

And when he finally had started education in high school, going to class with new bruises he saw her with Tatsuki.

* * *

He walked slowly towards the school, feeling like an internal desire to run. Especially knowing that he is not alone on that day. In corner of his eye he watched at the beaming father, who could not believe that his son finishes high school.

He wasn't surprised in his joy. He was aware that he was frequently absent than present in the school, which sometimes had threatened him repeat a year. It can be argued that he had gracious educator. He was grateful, especially because he was not a humble student.

"Ichigo! It's amazing! Today you'll graduate from high school! In addition, you have a girlfriend and you're not gay!" The father embraced him tightly, practically screaming on the whole street.

„Shut up!" He threw off his hand from himself, sighing heavily. "Who you calling gay?!"

„For most of your life, you even weren't paying attention to women ... my son ..." Isshin replied indignantly, staring straight ahead.

„I have a reason to offend not you!" He growled irritably, flipping his hair. "I'm not such a pervert like you!"

"I'm not a pervert! I just appreciate feminine beauty!" He said with a confident smile. "Women are like the finest works of art."

"You are an idiot."

"Ichigo, you don't have to hide it from me. Yuzu told me about your magazines ..."

Ichigo felt a pulsating vein on his temple, breaking through a wave of shame. He hit his father on cheek accelerating pace. Never in his life, he would admit to having such magazines. But he was a normal teenager, and it is clear that he have interest in the opposite sex. In addition, Hisagi had his part in this. He was ashamed that he have it, and what's worse, it was Yuzu who find them, but he did not want Orihime to found out and think about him as a pervert. Everyone, just not her.

It troubled him. Today he sees for the last time Orihime. It was not a separation forever, but he will be in Tokyo, he studied medicine, and she? He do not know what she has decided and if she folded up some papers to any university, but he doubted it. Even if she would got assigned to the dorm, she would have pay fees for study and she would have to pay for an apartment in Karakura. What would have been impossible for a regular teenager. If she sold the home, or want to rent it to someone, it would solve the problem for a minimum four years. However, after that period, where she would come back? He did not want to push her to just submitted papers to any university in Tokyo, that he could have her selfishly for himself.

„Ichigoooo!" He heard calling by his father, but he did not want to talk to him. He was irritated by his good humor which last perpetually. It was something that had distinguished him from his father, and despite appearances, he envied it.

„It' pointless.." He muttered under his breath, staring at the cloudy sky.

* * *

_~~ Flashback~~_

_He entered the room, feeling that his cheeks had covered in crimson. His heart was beating faster than usual, and the muscles stiffened when he saw how close she sits to the place. It would be enough to let her hand landed a little more under his bed and she would have found them. He swallowed hard, putting cups of tea on the ground._

_She smiled brightly to him, murmuring thanks. Her hands covered cup and lifted it to her lips. His heart stopped for a moment when in his head appeared a picture of their kiss, which had not yet occurred. Blushed even harder, he was trying to find a topic that would calm his heart and mind._

„_Ichigo?" She asked softly, watching him intently. " Are you okay?"_

"_Yes." He answered quickly, too quickly. He want to jump out of a window and run away somewhere far away. He did not know what was happening to him. Why he feels in her presence so nervous after he finally get her back. Again his, not Ishida or anyone else. "What do you want to do?" He asked hoarsely. No matter how much he told himself that he had to calm down, his body knows better._

"_I don't know ..." She said softly, leaning close to him, causing even more tension in his muscles. He was even sure that his face look like cranberries. "Ichi ... Could I see your photos?"_

_He looked at her in surprise. And then he realized that he turned face toward her, causing that their noses were millimeters apart. He jumped up scratching his neck with embarrassed. "Sure, I'll get it."_

_He ran out of the room, breathing deeply. If he have been thinking that the fight against Aizen and the Quincy was the worst and hardest experience, he's now changed his mind. No fight to the death doesn't equal to having a girl in his room. Especially when he is alone at home. The atmosphere was too heavy for him._

_He took a photo album from his father's office and went back to the room. May be letting someone into his heart was not the best idea, but even now he do not regret the decision. He just was afraid that he would hurt her with something._

_When he returned to the room, she sat on the bed and looked at the scenery outside the window. He could feel blush on his cheeks. Although she was one of the few people who he let sit on his bed, he could not help the fact that his imagination is going wild. Maybe being a normal teenager was not that easy and fun?_

"_Orihime?" He walked over to her, giving her album._

_The girl turned to him, smiling brightly. She reached for the album and wanted to get up out of bed, but stopped her. Startled, she looked like he sit closer to the wall, laying on her pillow, on which he rested comfortably._

„_Come here, we'll watch them together." He smiled gently, reaching for her hand._

* * *

Wound he finally stopped on the roof of the school, looking at Chad and Orihime, who stood at the railings talked about something. He raised his eyebrows, but they did not even notice his presence. Frustrated he approached them, laying his hand on the girl's head. She turn to him to her big honey eyes, full of surprise.

„Ichi-kun!" She said happily, snuggling up to him immediately.

"Hey, what so secretive?" He looked intently at Chad, who rolled up his diploma.

"About nothing in particular. Ichi, do you knew that Chad is going to the U.S. to study?"

„Something was said, but you seriously going?" He did not hide his surprise. He preferred to have his first friend in Japan, but he could not force him to change his mind. "However, I thought that you change your mind."

"I haven't changed. From America is closer to Mexico. I want to go there again sometime." Answered calmly.

„Eh, it's your roots ..." He muttered discouraged, embracing tighter girl.

„Were you able to escape the girls?" Mizuiro appeared behind him, smiling gently.

He gritted his teeth at the thought of a crowd of girls who for sure wanted to win the tie or buttons from his uniform. He did not even know since when he had so many admirers. Never before he had seen them next to him, and worse Keigo looked at him, with eyes telling "I told you so".

„I had lost a few buttons." He groaned, pulling apart Orihime. "So? Are we going somewhere? We have to celebrate the end of school ..."

He grabbed her by the hand, leading to the exit. Colleagues walked in silence behind them. Everyone feels uneasily with the knowledge that this the last moments they spent together. Ichigo wondered if they could meet Ishida and invite him to joint celebration. Orihime through all the way to the pizza restaurant was silent, lost in her thoughts.

They sat at the largest table, with the entire group of friends except Ishida, who they could not even invite, because he were not found anywhere. Ichigo held Orihime at the waist in an attempt to reassure her. She relied on him, with her eyes closed, she looked like she was going to fall asleep.

„Ichigo." Tatsuki looked at him coldly, pointing at him with a fork. " Listen to me. Maybe you will be the best doctor in the world, but if you fail to save the entire heart of Orihime, you'll suck, get it?

He nodded slightly, swallowing hard. Tatsuki was one of the few people whom he feared. Although she had no major powers, to Ichigo she has always been a person that he cannot be beat, especially when it comes to Orihime.

„Ichigo you lucky bastard, you know how many nurses you'll have at the faculty?!" Keigo chuckled to himself, playing with a napkin.

He narrowed his eyes dangerously, wanted to punch him. This day definitely was not the best. He felt like Orihime hands tighten on his jacket. He lowered his gaze in amazed at her, but she still stared at the ground. He raised his eyebrows questioningly, have wanting to ask her about something, when the waitress came over to take their order.

„You'll miss us, ne Ichigo?" Keigo beamed, looking at him.

"Not at all. Normally I'll dance with joy that I will not watch your gobs for the next 6 years." Ichigo replied in disgust, staring at a bunch of guys at the next table.

He did not like their eyes, which was definitely directed to Orihime. In addition, they said something to each other, he could not hear, but he suspected that it was something they should not talk about his girlfriend. But he was too far away to react somehow.

„Cruel ..." Keigo moaned in despair, hiding his face in hands.

"Even Orihime you will not miss?" Mizuiro smirked, playing with a straw of his drink.

„I was talking about you, not about her." He muttered quietly, pulling her even closer. " Besides we'll see each other."

„How come?" Chizuru interrupted the conversation, still looking at Ichigo with resentment.

"I'll came ..." He shrugged, turning his eyes to a strange glowing waitress.

All remained silent not daring to comment on his statement. They knew that they were on a different level than his girlfriend, but did not think he would be so brutal to them, even in jest. But before they really managed to take to heart his words, in front of them was put ordered pizzas. Celebration was started.

They had been returning by holding hands. In a few hours he had to get in the father car and go to Tokyo. They preferred not to think about, but it was inevitable thought. She sighed heavily, stopping. He looked at her worried. He did not know if she took Keigo joke of nurses to heart or let go of it.

„Ichi ..." She said softly, opening her purse. "You must be the best doctor, okay? You do not have to fight with hollows to be a hero, many people need a good doctors here, so ... do your best. okay?" She took out package with A5 size notebook, staring at him with teary eyes. " I ... I cannot say goodbye to you in the three hours ... Because I do not want to say goodbye to you, I'd rather be with you ..."

He walked over to her, wiping barely visible tears in her eyes. He understood her feelings, He felt the same way. He would not get in the car if she were there, he could not leave her. "You'll see, I'll give my best." He said quietly, embracing her.

"Ichi ... It's my gift for you. Open it when you're in Tokyo, okay?" She smiled softly, handing him a package. He grabbed him with questioning face, but seeing her eyes, he nodded in assent, feeling like a heart bursting with pain. He'll miss her. Much more than he ever thought.

_Well baby, you are all that I adore,__  
__If love is what you need, a soldier I will be._

* * *

**(A/N) My friend asked me to write some IchiRuki, and I was like: Nope, nope, nope. Never gonna happen. xD**

**Okay I watched Toradora, and her opinion that Taiga and Ryu are the same as Rukia and Ichigo was invalid. They're not the same. So nope, nope, nope.**

**I'm not IchiRuki hater, but I don't like it. **

**Even more when Bleach fanpage gives all IchiRuki art, and I'm so sick of it, that I ask them if they're ichiRuki fanpage? But of course they said that they not, they only put art that people wants… I'm like grumpy cat, when some admin tells that he can't put arts, and I'm thinking "good".**

**And girl who tells "Orihime is stupid and egoist cuz she screaming for help, and she is so useless! Rukia is much better!", drive me mad. What she would screamed when she saw death of her love, her best friend lost his hand, and hello there is no hope to survive? Orihime was in shock, in despair. I totally understand her. And sorry Rukia is also weak and need protection. So sorry your arguments is invalid. **

**And healers aren't useless! Ask gamer what he think about that! When you have healer in team you're god, when you haven't you're looser, who must repeat game again and again. ( I know this, cuz I don't have healer in my team, and they killing me too many times! Where is my own Orihime?!)**

**And even if Orihime would have a sword, and was fighter Ichigo wouldn't allow her to fight. **

**Deal with this.**


	9. Intimacy

After regaining power by Ichigo, everything was back to normal. She knew that he finally feels alive and happy, but she distanced herself from him. She could not remember what happened, but she felt that she had done something very bad. The same feeling of confusion was Sado, so she began to spend more time with him. They wanted to know what happened to them, what they did wrong. They could not remember, and no one wanted to tell them. Ishida looked away, saying it was no longer relevant, and yet their old friends from Soul Society even did not greet them. She had not expected that the captains bothering withthem, but Rukia?

Orihime felt pain in her heart, not only by the jealousy that Ichigo and Rukia have a special bond, which they do not allow other people to share, but she was furious. Is Rukia not told her that they were friends? Is she not deserve even to simple "hey"? Probably for the Shinigami she was just a man, someone unimportant.

One day Tatsuki threw proposal to go to the beach. Initially, the girls had to go, but they not to require that the conversation was overheard by Keigo, who immediately announced it to the rest. And so, on Sunday morning, sitting on the train with Tatsuki, opposite Sado and Ishida, who also decided to take on a class break. She did not want to go, when she heard that Ichigo would also be involved in this. She was not ready to wear a mask "it's all right." But she was sitting on the train, feeling the whole body uptight with stress.

Ichigo did not talk to her since she woke up in Urahara's store. And every day she felt worse. If only she knew for what she has to apologize, she would do. There was, however, nothing to apologize for, or so everyone told around them. Felt less guilty the day before she went shopping with Tatsuki to buy herself a swimsuit. But then sitting on the train, knowing that a little more and she will have to show up dressed before Ichigo, she blushes as her own. Maybe it was better to buy a one piece?

When they got to the beach, she looked for a place to spread out a blanket. Only what she wanted to lie down and forget that she exists. It was only after a few minutes she found the right place. She sat on a blanket and looked as the rest, casts off packages and unnecessary clothes. She swallowed saliva with difficulty, seeing Ichigo muscular chest. He was even better built than the time of Hueco Mundo, but she should not be surprising. Body that Rukia can touch so frivolously and she'll always be able only to watch from a distance. She closed her eyes, feeling like would cry.

As she opened again found before her Ichigo, who looked at her with disappointment. Before she could say anything, he had already asked for the reason for not playing with the rest, when they came here specifically for that. In the middle of his tirade she lost the thread and just looked at the movement of his lips. She did not know what to answer him, but she was happy. Ichigo did not hate her, he still noticed her.

He threatened her that if she does not appear with them in a few minutes, then he would throw her into the water, whether she wants it or not. And she could only blush and nod. She took off her clothes and stood there only in her green bikini that has attached here and there a small plastic strawberries. She hoped that he would not notice.

When she ran for the rest with apologetic look, she did not notice how Ichigo blushes at her sight. With all the forces she was trying to not look at him.

* * *

Tired she opened her eyes, realizing that he was no longer whenever she wants, they do not go on a date every Saturday, those days were over. Sob shook her again. Ever since she came back from their farewell party, she did not do nothing but cry. She could not be included in the new reality. Emotions, which are so long forgotten, returned. Only that this time no one is holding her in a closed-in room, no one will come and she will not be ordered. She locked herself in the apartment.

She knew she should get up and go to work. There was nothing else. She does not get into any college, she had a poor results, much lower than she thought, but when she wrote the entrance exams she have a period, it was more painful than the previous one, so her thought was lost. She did not admit to Ichigo about her failures, just as she has never mentioned excruciating pain. She knew that he probably would have led her to his father.

„Stupid menstruation ..." She muttered under her breath, wiping her eyes with the back of his hand.

She had so many dreams, so many goals, and when it comes for what she could not to decide about her future, she could not put everything on one card. If she had parents she could ask their opinion about what they would do in her place, but it was impossible. She had no parents, there was no one she could ask this question.

Sometimes she thought that her parents cursed her by giving such a name. They made her useless princess who can only wait in a tower for her prince. She cannot go alone and fight the dragon, cannot wake up from sleep.

She got up, moving to the bathroom. Although light-headedness, she knew she had to do something with herself that she cannot lie down and sleep for those six years, waiting for Ichigo. He chose his future, which she hadn't expected, because of that, she too, should find something to do.

She was standing under a stream of water massaging another part of the body. At such moments, she could not help, about thoughts that the same time came to her mind. How would she felt to be touched by Ichigo? What would it feel if his hand wandered after her naked body?

Orihime has always flushed cheeks while watching or reading such moments. Like every girl, she dreamed to experience it all with the person she loves. But she not admitted this to Ichigo. As if she could? She would go out in his eyes, as a whore.

She stopped the movement of her hands, opening eyes slowly. She took the air reaching for the shower gel. It was Ichigo who had bought it for her. It was the smell of coconut. She did not know that he liked this scent, finally he talk so little about himself. If she had to think about it, she probably know about him far less than she should, as his girlfriend.

She came out of the bathroom wrapped in a downy cream towel and included water for tea. She sat on a cushion at the table, putting on it her lotion which scented white chocolate. She never used any cosmetic, did not consider this to be necessary, but being with Ichigo she wanted to take care of herself more, she wanted for Ichigo to like to spend time with her. She wanted to give him the _desire_.

* * *

_~~Flashback~~_

_She was lying on his bed with the scent that surrounded her. She loved his smell, it was not sharp, but it was not too gentle. She closed her eyes, feeling the fatigue takes over her. She did not know why, whenever she was with him, she was overwhelmed by this feeling. In her apartment she had trouble with sleeping. She had long seethed with a blanket before she managed to find a good position to sleep. In his bed she had no such trouble and all anxiety disappeared._

_**She felt safe.**_

_She heard him open the door and stopped in them, she could feel his eyes on her. Probably he wondering if she was asleep or just resting. When she ventured for the first time lay on his bed she was afraid that he would tell her something that he gets upset, but he said nothing. Since then, whenever she came to him, she allowed herself to such a crime, despite the fact that Ichigo always teased her that a guest should sit still and not act as if she were at home._

"_Hime?" He said softly, walking over to her. She heard him put a tray with cups on the desk, and then she felt like one side of the bed to collapse. She could feel his breath on her face, and with all her might, was trying not to open her eyes, do not smile and do not make any gesture that would betray her. "Hime?" He repeated more quietly than before pulling away from her. For a moment she was worried that he will give up and go down to enable her some sleep. He did that sometimes, when he saw how much she's tired, he let her sleep in his bed. When she woke she has been mad at him that he wasted their time on dating, to give her a little sleep._

_She was ready to opened her eyes, but before she did she felt his hands under the armpits. She opened her eyes wide, trying to grab his hands and stop the torture. Ichigo most commonly in the world started to tickle her, and she giggled softly at first, but with every moment of, her giggle metamorphosed into a loud laugh. She squirmed beneath him, crying and begging for mercy, and he laughed in response to her that there is no power in the world, which would stopped him._

"_Ichiiii!" She groan with tears, burying herself in him. "Meeeeercyyy!"_

"_Why? It's your fault that you just lying on my bed." He replied quietly, embracing her. " If our opponents know that you have ticklish ... Oh, poor you would been." He laughed softly, dropping freely onto the bed, pulling her behind._

_She gasped at the sudden movement, and he stroked her back slowly reassuring her. They could be just lying, not say a word and not doing anything special. Orihime loved every moment she spent with him, so long as he did not mind, she does not propose any changes to their meetings. Though at times she was furious with herself that she relished those moments. She could try to find out anything about him, but she did not ask questions, just listened to the work of his heart._

_**And a picture of a hole in his chest melted as if nothing like this never has happened.**_

"_Hime?" Ichigo muttered quietly, looking down at her. And she smiled softly with her eyes closed. Again, she did it. She fell asleep while being in his arms._

* * *

Kurosaki Ichigo was a teenager with an unusual hair color, with a grimace and foremost children's belief that his uniqueness isn't paying positive attention to him, especially women. Inoue Orihime was, however, aware that her boyfriend, who made his well built body by working as part-time shinigami, had his admirers. There were, contrary to his opinion, quite a bit. When he announced that she is his girlfriend, Orihime not only was getting congratulations and envy moaning, but also acts of jealousy. About any incident she did not said to him.

Ichigo was too blind to see those aspects and his character would not let it settle peacefully. World of living ruled by different rules than the world Shinigami's, because that Orihime was silent. She would not want him been suspended from school, or had other problems through her. It's just that his fans refrain because of his presence, but now he is not here. And Inoue has a problem. Biggish.

She swallowed hard, feeling uncomfortable under the influence of a few girls eyes. Behind her, she felt cold touch of the wall, which in this case did not add her encouragement. She could use her powers, but opponents were ordinary girls. People who does not have any spiritual energy. She knew, at time when she saw them, that this time she will not end with minor abrasions.

„Your prince left you ..." High brunette leaned toward her, smiling grimly.

She did not answer. She looked at them peacefully. She experienced such a thing before. She was able to deal with it.

"You don't have anything to say? Maybe better, because we don't want to hear it!" Smaller brunette grabbed her by the hair, pulling down. "He'll break with you! No guy likes virtuous girls!"

She closed her eyes, trying not to listen to them. Trying to convince herself that their words do not move her, but it was not. She knew that Ichigo is a normal teenager and is susceptible to the female body. The body, which he will see frequently at the university. Girls smarter than her, with the chosen purpose. Why should he not look up at them and experience better happiness?

When she was finally left alone, she had a few new bruises and a few cuts on the skin. She felt her lip bleeding from contact with the knee of one of them. She should go home to get changed and re-organize. Instead, as in the frenzy she went to work.

What if Ichigo wanted her this way, and she did not realize? What if she failed him in some aspect?

* * *

She did not know what he was doing. She took three days off at the bakery, which she had up to now unused and boarded the first train to Tokyo. She knew his schedule, finally he send her via email, as well as the address of the apartment where he lived now, because the dorm, he did not get.

He could not find the perfect roommate, because of it he lived alone. He considered it less annoying than feuded with someone over the next few years. If she gets to Tokyo, maybe they could live together. Ichigo always told her that she would not have to worry about the rent that he would pay everything himself, but she did not want to agree. And now? She ran toward his settlement, ignoring the fact that she spent all her money that she kept for an additional courses. She should not do that, not in the financial situation which she is, but she could not do otherwise. She had to see him, even for a moment.

She stopped at his door, gasping for air. She pressed the doorbell, waiting for him to open. Her stomach clenched dangerously and in mind appeared absurd images.

„Yes?" Ichigo opened door with unbuttoned shirt, finally an hour ago he finished classes. When he saw her, his eyes widened in surprise. "Hime?" He step aside, did not believe what he see.

She went inside, muttering apologies for the sudden intrusion. She took off quickly her shoes guided intuitively to his bedroom. The boy followed her while still in the shock of her sudden appearance.

„Did you take day off?" He said finally, trying to settle down in mind right questions, so he would not sound like she was not wanted here.

"Um, I took some time off." She said anxious, sitting down in bed.

"So did you miss me? Or maybe you wanted to see if I don't cheat you?" He smiled softly, walking over to his desk to turn off the laptop.

"No ... I mean, I missed you!" She said quickly, stood up from the bed.

She felt her heart beating like crazy, but she could not back out now. She put her purse on the ground, taking off layers of clothing until she was in underwear. Ichigo turned to her, blushing automatically. He had not expected such a view. He opened his mouth in shock, but immediately closed it.

"Because I ... Because I don't want to lose Ichi ..." she moaned in despair, clenching her hands into fists.

"So you're telling me that you want to have with me ... Sex?" He said quietly, taking off his shirt. " Are you sure, Hime?"

"Um ..." She looked down, not being certain if her words did not betray her fear.

She felt his hand on her arm, he pulled her to him. She felt a shiver shook her body. It was not an unpleasant feeling, it was a completely different feel than touching with the clothes. She hugged him shyly, feeling like the whole tension escapes from her.

„Hime, I don't know who babbled you this nonsense, but we have time for everything. No need to hurry. Both of us aren't ready for such a step. Still we have to learn each other, so don't rush it." He whispered in her ear, driving his hand down her back. "You smell nice ..."

She blushed, nuzzling into him. And he smiled softly under his breath, enjoying their closeness.

"I'm sorry ..." She stammered, stepping up to him. "I'm stupid ..."

"You're not ... You're just in love." He laughed under his breath, pulling her to the bed.

„Ichi?" She said with a hint of horror, watching his movements.

"I don't know about you, but I'm awfully tired. I didn't slept very well recently."

She smiled gently, following his example. She knew that he was right. They have time for everything, they do not have to hurry to show off their feelings, they can do it slowly. She looked like he takes off jeans with a blush, no matter how she tried to look away she kept coming back to him.

„You still using the shower gel that I bought you?" He looked at her questioningly, covering them with quilt.

"Um ... It's wrong?" She nestled into him, feeling the fatigue came to her.

„No, I really like the smell, especially when you combine it with that chocolate lotion."

She smiled at these words, no longer having the strength to respond.

Finally she was back home.

To Ichigo.

Finally, she was safe.

_If I tell you you're mine__  
__It's like I told you honey_

* * *

**(A/N) So sleepy… I wanna read some IchiHime fanfiction, but I read most of it… And now I'm sad.**

**Ichigo, Ichigo, Ichigo, when you gonna kiss Orihime?**

**Never?**


	10. Oneness

He hated when someone tried to rule his life. He hated when someone tried to look into his heart. Some things he preferred to keep to himself, just as he would in the eyes of others to be indifferent to all human. He did not want them to become part of his life, but he could not ignore it and those who need help. He was such a person. Probably it had lost him.

He wanted to save the family from death. If he had a glimmer of hope that the little shinigami could do it, then he lost it when he saw his sister in the paws of Hollow. Shinigami, which is designed to kill Hollows was weak and unable to do anything.

But he wanted to save his family, even if it means selling his soul to the devil.

He was a substitute shinigami.

At first he thought it was a one-time job. He could not remember what happened after he killed a Hollow, but the view of Rukia made it clear to him that he really made a big mistake and really sold his soul. Not the devil. But her.

She irritated him. Not because she suddenly told him to do her job. Finally, it was also his fault. He took all her power, and the city was without a guardian. Even with his reluctance, he knew that he could not ignore the souls in need. What he hated was her arrogance.

She lived with him, in his closet without asking for permission. She acted as if he was her slave. And what did he have to say? He was a normal teenager and as a normal human teenager he had some trouble getting up.

However, he could survive it. He just must made sure that he got up earlier than her. But he could not do anything about the fact that she could see through him. She not always understood him. She was Shinigami. She had little in common with ordinary human emotions.

He would not tell her who is Inoue Orihime for him. He did not want to tell her that they both lost something valuable in life, and therefore he could not ignore it. He was glad that she was a friend of Tatsuki. He was sure she was safe, but still she came to school with a new injury. He really do not want her to be mixed in his lives, not when he playing role of the Shinigami.

Rukia did not understand why he was so angry when Kon burst into his class in his body and kissed Orihime. Fortunately, only on the hand, but he did it. He said that there is nothing more flop than kissing a girl. That was not entirely true. Rather, he meant the person which was kissed by Kon. He did not want to get out in front of her as eccentric and crazy. He always watched. Even tried to ignore all the ghosts in her presence. And Kon ruined everything.

When he saw her in front of Urahara's shop, ready to go with him after Rukia, he was glad. Even if he do not show, he felt relieved that he does not go alone. He did not fight only for Rukia. Of course he wanted to save her and wanted to do it with all costs. But he would not die, and to see Orihime crying. He decided for her to be strong, to not have to see her suffering.

He did not know when she became his strength. He did not know when she became so important to him. But ge knew that he do not regret anything, any decision. He would not let her suffer. He will protect her.

* * *

He was holding the book. Gift from Orihime. Just as he had promised, he opened it just as he reached the apartment. He did not know what she give him, especially of this size, expecting some food sooner or pendant, but that what he got was a lot more valuable. From the outside it looks like an ordinary school notebook, but when he opened it, he learned about its true value. Photos, many photos, even were masterpieces made by Rukia, all with the best wishes of all his friends, not only from school, but also from Soul Society. What surprised him the most, were wishes submitted by Ishida.

He smiled to himself imagining how hard she had work to get all the photos and signatures. She did it for him, not in order to harass him with a past that will never return, but to preserve the best aspects - people who have it in some way changed him.

He knew he would have to talk to her about topics that were not pleasant. He do not really know who he is. All mixed up in him, but he had to tell her in person. He did not want her to found out from someone else. But what he do if she do not accept it?

_She accepted his Hollow_. She did not turn away from him. Why would she do it now?

He sighed, putting down the book on the desk. He had to go to class, but in the most he would have been stay in bed. He could still feel her smell, her weight advancing on him, her skin under his hands. He blushed at the memory of her view only in underwear.

He did not know how he managed to control himself. Whenever he saw her in clothes that bared more than cover, he felt awkward. He could not concentrate. Even if he wanted her in that sense, he could not rush. _They were not ready_.

He came to the university sooner than he expected. There was not even a break, so he could not count on taking a seat in the courtroom. He sat down on a bench, taking bread out of the bag that he had bought on the way. He had to endure only two weeks and return to the Karakura for the holidays. He have never enjoyed holidays, but now it was not the day to think about them.

_Why he started to felt so uncomfortable when he was not next to Orihime when he falling asleep? When her presence in his arms became as natural as breathing?_

„Yo, Ichigo!" A friend of the year went up to him, smiling sheepishly.

"Hey." Ichigo replied sullenly, making him a place on the bench.

"Look is the thing ..." He started confused, scratching his head. Ichigo thought that he is about ask writing down their homework, or to join the project, which he yet has no idea. Finally, do not know so well with the people to suspect them of something else. "We want to go on a date with a girls, which going to be nurses, but that they want you at this meeting ..."

„Me?" He rasped with difficulty, trying not to choke on with his breakfast.

"Um ... You're the hero ... something in this kind..."

"I cannot." He said firmly, pulling out of the bag a bottle of water and drinking greedily.

"Why? What's the harm? You'll have fun with some really hot chicks!"

„I have no doubt about that they are pretty." He muttered irritably standing up. " But I have a girlfriend, so I'm not going to entertain as the lure for the girl."

He walked away from him, no longer listening to his arguments. He was surprised by his proposal. Until now, it never happened to him, that anyone would proposed this kind of date to him, and he remember good that Keigo has participated in these dates. He preferred not even imagine how it would look. If the girls wanted to come mainly for him, it means that the rest of the guys would not have what to do. He on the other hand would have too many people to keep off of him.

He passed a couple of girls who smiled brightly at him. Probably wanted to pick him up, or to attract his attention, but he did not sees it, just went ahead, having had enough of the day.

_Orihime ... I wonder if she also gets that kind of propositions?_ He thought anxiously, feeling uncomfortably squeezes of the stomach causing nausea.

He do not undermine Orihime, he trust her implicitly, but he could not say the same about the males of his city.

* * *

_~~ Flashback~~_

_Probably he should accompany her on a train in the evening and make sure that he come the beginning of May, when he going to be free. However, she still slept cuddled up to him. He could not join forces to wake her up. So he lay reveling in her scent. He was addicted to her._

"_Ichi ..." She moaned sleepily, stretching her body awkwardly._

_He smiled at the sight, loosening his grip slightly so she could easily straighten. She writhed like a cat next to him, he heard the shooting of her bones. He dropped heavily air, turning over on his back._

"_What time is it?" She asked sleepily as she sat up._

"_Seventh in the afternoon ." He replied quietly, trying not to look at her breasts._

"_I should go ... I don't want to bother your study." She said confused, looked for her clothes._

„_Stay…"_

„_Hm? " She looked curious at him, leaning toward him._

„_Stay with me ..." He repeated, this time louder and more confident._

_She blinked surprised, but after a while she smiled radiantly, hugging him. He embraced her immediately, wanting to cry. He would not let her go._

_They heard a rumbling in their stomachs. Laughed softly, feeling that they should stand up, but none of them had the slightest desire. They lay snuggle into each other, reveling in their scent. If only it could feed them, they would never go hungry. Ichigo finally did not want her to starve to death, so he opened a drawer and handed her a flyer various pizzerias and other restaurants with food delivery._

_Orihime looked through its offers, feeling line in a every moment she blushes. Everything was too much that in the end she did not know what to choose. She looked distraught at him, causing him to laugh. He knew that would happen, he knew her too well. He took a flyer rejecting half of the side, scanned the rest and gave her two of which she had to choose it, what she wanted._

"_You're a cruel ..." She groaned, reading each item._

"_Cruellest in the world. Even Aizen is an angel." He said nuzzling at her._

" _You mean the destroying angel ..." She said under her breath, trying to ignore his proximity._

„_Hime, but I don't want anything that has the wasabi." He whispered into her ear, causing that she shiver._

"_HA?! So cruel!"_

„_But you still love me." He laughed softly, hugging her tighter._

_She did not reply to this topic. She threw only one leaflet, opting for pizza with pineapple. She could not give to eat something that is not unusual. She liked to mix and match flavors, even if most of people thought that the meat should not be combined with fruit, but for her is delicious combination. Ichigo looked at her choice wearily. He had expected her to choose something more extreme._

„_So, a Hawaiian pizza?" He reached for the phone, smiling to himself._

"_Yes." She said happily, getting out of bed._

_He followed her with his eyes, until she disappeared into the bathroom door. He ordered a pizza and a drink for it. He grabbed his pants, trying to mobilize to dress them. He had to open the door and collect they order, and he cannot do this in boxers._

_Damn, no good, very not good. I did not think that her presence here will so affect me. - Broken in thought, he sighing heavily._

"_Ichigo, could I borrow some clothes? I didn't take anything to change, and if you want me to stay, I have to wash things that I came." She came out of the bathroom, brushing her hands from the remaining water._

_Ichigo felt himself blush. Orihime had to wear his clothes. He nodded, but pointing to a chest of drawers, which were his normal clothes. She smiled brightly walking up to it, Ichigo on the other hand went to the bathroom, feeling like every step gives him pain._

* * *

He left the building wondering what to do with himself. He did not have any close friends here, but a lot of free time. Girls passed him with their enigmatic smiles, but he was not even looking. When he come back to the apartment to welcome him emptiness, there will not be a wild greeting by his father, or scoffing from Karin. No. It is not for the miss. It's not this that made him wanted to hide somewhere and forget that he is here alone.

_This aware that she's not there, made __him the feeling. He hated himself for it, and quickly became accustomed to her presence, how quickly lost his apartment a warm when he left he__r on the platform. He let go of her hand, he did not want to do it, he got on the train with her, hug one last time and if it had no signal, no light that the door is about to close, he would definitely kissed her. But he had to get off. With a heavy heart he for long time looking after her._

_He felt like a pervert. There were still clothes that she wore in these two days being with him. She wanted to do laundry before leaving, but he said that he would do it. Now, when he had only come home, put the bag on the ground, he attaches to his nose shirt she wore, which still smelled like her._

_I have to control myself. l behave worse than Keigo._ – He thought depressed, opening the door to the apartment.

He sat on the bed staring at some time in the far wall. The silence was beginning to irritate him. He turned on the laptop to turn on some music. His phone vibrated in his pocket, pulling him from his desk. He looked at the screen and with a smile on his face hit the green phone.

"Ichigo?" A woman's voice said in the handset, banishing all the uncertainties in his heart.

He sat back on the bed, enjoying the sound of her voice so much, that he wanted her be with him.

"Hey, Hime." He said quietly, wanting to be sure he was listening.

„I thought I'd talk to the air! Finished classes?"

„You know that I've ..."

"I thought that maybe you signed up for some extra. In any case, I thought that the last weekend in April, I could come to you and for the holidays we would choose to Kyoto? I already spoke with your father, and he said that there is no problem. And still in Kyoto we'll not be long, so your sisters would ultimately get enough of you."

„I didn't think about any extra-curricular activities, but it's probably a good idea. As for Kyoto, is if you want to go, I don't see any problem. Finally, with this we little sightseeing Japan, because of these actions related to the Soul Society, we couldn't participate in any school trip."

"It didn't bother me ... But if you agree, it's cool! I'll take some time off from work. I cannot wait!"

"I'm can't wait even more."

They were silent for a moment listening to their breathing. Not knowing when, Ichigo felt the tears flying down his cheeks. He wiped them quickly, laughing to himself.

"Ichi?" She asked worried.

„It's nothing, really nothing, just ..." He took the air, laying on the bed. "I miss you and it scares me a little."

"Do you miss me?"

"Um ... a lot."

„Ichi…"

"Don't speak. I know it's ridiculous, because it's finally not parting forever and we going to see each other in two weeks, but we've never been apart so far ..."

She laughed softly, causing a blush on his face. He still had trouble with expressing his feelings. He knew it, but he did not think that he will be laughed by her.

"Ichi, we were apart even further."

"No. Not for so long. Never mind that you were in Hueco Mundo, and I was in Karakura. Never mind that you were there, and I was in Soul Society. We've never had it so long separation. Once I at least sensed reiatsu, I felt your presence, and now even if I still could, it's wouldn't feel you."

„Ichi…"

„I wonder if studying in Tokyo wasn't a mistake."

"Don't say that! It was not a mistake! You will be a doctor, take over your father's clinic. You will no longer feared Hollows, you will be a quiet hero of the city, treating people. You'll always be my hero. I know that the separation is hard, I could barely deal with this, I would like to have you around. I'm scared when I wake up and don't feel you near, when I know that you are not at your house, but you have to bear. I promise I'll be study better at the courses and in next year I join you in Tokyo!"

He could hear her crying, he felt like crying himself as unable to say even a word. If only he would be with her, he could hug her, do something that could reassure her.

"Ichi ..." She was sobbing uncontrollably, trying to say something.

"I understand, Hime. We have to survive this year under these conditions." He said quietly, mastering breath.

"I'm sorry ... It did not have to end this way."

„Stupid, you don't have to apologize." He smiled to himself, closing his eyes.

_I'm an angel with a shotgun,__  
__Fighting til' the wars won_

* * *

**(A/N) So tired... I don't know even if i should still doing this...**


	11. Love

When she met him, she felt a strange attachment to him. Sympathy, which she did not feel to Tatsuki or brother. Her heart was beating faster, and my hands were sweating as if she were nerves. In comparison to the other she was not afraid of his grimace on his face. Imagination has allowed her to see him in a different light, but she was not sure whether he would have seen this a good thing.

When she told Tatsuki about her feelings, she heard that she fell in love. She was not convinced. She did not think that what she feel is love. Maybe something more than just "like" but less than "love", because any attempt to imagine the dating ended in a sporting event. She totally do not know how to put herself in any romantic setting. If she loved him then, would not she feel jealous of Rukia's presence? Of course she envied her frivolity with which she could talk to him, but if someone had told her then that they are a couple she would enjoy their happiness. There would see nothing wrong with that.

So when her liking turned into love?

Maybe it was when they went to the Soul Society to save Rukia? Maybe not knowing when her heart turned towards him different kind of feelings? Maybe that's why she cried, thanking him that he survived? Only when this happened? Most of the time though they were alone! Their paths merged after all, until all the fighting died down, when Aizen betrayed Gotei 13.

But since they return to Karakura she began to think about it differently. She trained more to help him in future fights. She wanted to be his support. No. Perhaps the idea was to draw his attention. She wanted him to have a good opinion of her, that he could trust her.

How she regret that she was weak! She did not understand why he so blamed for her condition, why he not listen when she said that it was entirely her fault. Why he looked at her with such a sense of guilt? Rukia did something that she was not able Rukia led him to order, and her heart to a total disintegrate. Why her words had no value to him?

She knew she should go that time to Tatsuki. Their friendship was longer and more durable. However the heart decided to one last time to see him. It was the only asset to have the bracelets, of being abducted. She was standing in his room, feeling the smell, looked at his sleeping face. She could kiss him. She wanted it like nothing else in the world! Even if he does not return her feelings, her first kiss would be with the man she loves! Only that he was asleep. He was not aware of what was happening around him. She wept for her naivety. What would be the point of kissing him, if it did not rise to anything? She would use him only as a toy, and she did not want to. He was too valuable for her. She could only tell about their feelings, about what was sitting in her heart. At that moment she wanted to just throw away everything, as a farewell and as a test, if she would come home ever.

She could be proud of her heart, which, contrary to the mind was unchanged and still loved him with the same painful force. She could not remember just how is called this feeling, but she knew that what she feels to him is so strong that almost painful.

Days passed, and she could not get up the courage to tell him how she feels. She did not want to suffer, but also did not want to put him in an unpleasant situation. She knew him too well. Having to turn her down, and thus having to hurt her, he would thought about himself like he were one of their enemies. She did not want that. She definitely did not want to see his tears.

But that night on the river she dared to do it.

And he did not wept.

* * *

Orihime was not stupid or naive. She knew that her boyfriend despite appearances, is an ordinary man who responds to what he sees. Especially the female body. When she dared to to move their relationship to such a serious step as sex and took off her clothes, feeling ashamed, she knew that her boyfriend will react somehow. She was glad that he have not pounced on her and have more control, and calm down her heart.

She wondered if Ichigo well thought his request her to stay with him for the weekend. She was free, and he did not have much studing, but his body did not cooperate with his mind. Orihime was aware of the men problems in the morning. Biology was the well-known to her, moreover, she had seen Sora when he got up out of bed and went to the bathroom with a prominent bulge in his pajamas. Erection. It was something that men do not controlled.

Over the weekend she spent with Ichigo, she experienced that, even in this respect he is no exception. Only for not embarrass or build between them, a strange atmosphere, she did not pay attention to the fact, that waking up in his arms she felt his penis stuck to her body. Blushing at the consciousness of how much her boyfriend touch her, but she could not require him to fight with his own nature.

But it was a moment of self-satisfaction. Although she did not think she would be proud of the fact that she seduced him sexually. As she walked for his clothes to get changed, she could see the bulge in his boxers. Probably she should feel shame or insult him as a pervert, but it was not like that she did not feel the same. More than once during her stay with him, she felt her nipples harden beneath his touch.

It's not like she was a child. And as she were older, the more she was aware of the sexual site of relationships. What bothered her, the realization that she did not dare to kiss him. No matter how she wanted, she could not do this step. And she was afraid that Ichigo never think about it, even though their farewell, gave her hope that one day this will be happen.

She sighed wearily gazing at the empty bakery. In the evening, rarely anyone would come, even if it could not complain about bread keep. For two days she would go to Tokyo. _Only two more days._

She wondered if she should take to Ichigo some of her things in order to not have to carry them every time, but she did not want to intrude into his asylum. She could go there from time to time on the weekends, but only when Ichigo would not have too much study. Every month will be more of it.

She went to the courses and had to admit that it went a lot better than she thought. Even the teachers were surprised that she does not get into any college. She did not see anything unusual with that. It was a difficult time in her life. Not only painful menstruation, which made her vomit, but calls from her aunt and her own heart. If she was more confident with herself and Ichigo, she would not erupt jealousy and not break up with him, if she had the courage to tell him about her family problems, he might support her and came up with a plan. But even she has a little bit of pride, even though she wanted this topic to be independent. She wanted to prove to herself first of all that she can take care of herself The result was not the one she planned.

She still do not know what she wants to do in the future. Probably she should discuss it with Ichigo. But could he understands her the mess and uncertainty? He finally, in spite of the fact that he could be an athlete, he followed the footsteps of his father. She had not whose footsteps to go.

"Good evening!" Cheerful man's voice said in the room, breaking her thoughts.

She looked surprised at smiling Isshin, which revolved around the store, thinking about what he should take. She raised her eyebrows, feeling strangely uncomfortable in this situation.

"Orihime-chan is cruel ..." She heard his silent plea, and after a while to see him at the checkout with a basket full of different kinds of bread.

"I don't understand ..." she whispered frightened, trying to focus on the packaging food.

„When Ichigo was in town, you always bring us some delicious bread, and since he isn't, you don't even come to us!" Isshin said desperately, wiping nonexistent tears.

"I'm sorry! But now I'm finishing much later and I didn't want to disturb you." She answered in panic, blushing with embarrassment.

"Orihime-chan, you're the girlfriend of my stupid son. You will never be a burden to us. You are part of the family and if you feel you want to talk to someone who is more responsible than my son, I'm happy to listen."

Orihime wondered how he knew about her anxiety. She shook her head, trying to ward off the comparison Ichigo's father to Urahara. She sighed, giving him a net with the order. For a moment, she really wanted to ask him to stay and talk to her, but it was not yet time for a conversation with the father of her boyfriend. No matter how she respected Isshin, she was not ready yet for such a step.

"Thank you. I'll definitely call in the future when I would have problems."

He returned smile, and went off from the bakery. She was glad that he did not insist on it.

* * *

_~~Flashback~~_

_It was in March, at holiday called a white day. In this year fell on a Saturday, which happened to be free. They did not plan anything for the day and she was a little confused. She hoped that they could go on a date or something. She did not want candy or flowers. She would rather just spend the day with him. That she had not feel the loneliness._

_She was curled up on the sofa watching a replay of some drama. Ever since she started working a part-time in bakery, she did not have time to watch her favorite TV series. She could all catch at weekends, but that would mean that she had not come out of the house. She had too much to catch up, so she gave up the hobby, and watched only if she had time._

_She wondered if she should call him. He might have forgotten what is a day. It would not be a surprise cause since she knew him, she never saw him celebrating the white day. He never gave any girl chocolates, or a flower, but it went the other way, none of them dared to give him chocolates on Valentine's Day, so were she. But this year, everything has changed somehow, so maybe she has a chance to spend a white day in the company of her boyfriend, not TV?_

_knock knock knock_

_She got up from the couch and ran to the door. She tried unsuccessfully to control heart when she saw Ichigo standing in front of her, dressed in black jeans, and a white shirt and on it a purple sweatshirt. She smiled happily, stepping back slightly to the inside, giving him a place to go._

"_Yo." He said freely twisting her hair._

"_Hey." She said offended, adjusting hair._

"_Do you have any plans for today?"_

"_Not really ... I mean ..." She paused, trying to sound calm, or even a little annoyed, as if he cut her important job. "I was planning on spend this day catching up on my favorite show. So what do you want?"_

_She heard him laugh to himself, sitting down on the couch. He watched for a moment a drama with questioningly raised eyebrows. Orihime suspected that he did not understand what was happening on the screen, especially since it was a romantic comedy, which he was hardly a fan. She went to the kitchen to make them something to drink, not knowing how to behave. Even though she told herself she did not want any treats or flowers, she could not hide the feelings of disappointment._

„_Orihime, you better get changed." He said quietly, turning off the TV._

„_For what?"_

„_We going to cinema."_

„_To the cinema?!" She shouted happily as she ran to her room to find something suitable on the way out._

_On one hand, she wanted to scream at him and say that he should have told her yesterday about such plans, that she could she be prepared, but the other she could not hide the excitement of such a sudden date. It was her day, so she could afford him to pay for her._

_She opened her closet quickly analyzing its contents. If she had more time, she would say panicked that there is nothing to wear, but it was far too late, so she grabbed the first clothes which fit better to go to the cinema. She raced to the bathroom, dressing up the fast as she could. She was surprised by the result._

_She put on a knee-length dress with spaghetti straps, in a shade of lavender with delicate lace inserts. She imposed on this a black denim jacket. At hair she wore a black armband with the bow and for last time she looked at herself in the mirror. It was not the effect she would prefer, but she did not have much time. She stressed yet gently mouth and walked out of the bathroom._

„_How do I look?" She asked shyly, twisting around her own axis._

_Ichigo was blushing slightly. He smiled gently giving her hand. "You look great."_

_She felt a blush covering her cheeks, she answered him with only smile. She put on a low-heeled shoes and walked beside him, holding his hand. She still could not believe that they are together, that she do not spend this day alone looking enviously at the other girls who received some gifts from the boys._

_When they got to the cinema, he told her to wait on one of the sofas, when he went to the box office. She could feel her heart beating like crazy. She have never felt so excited at date with Ichigo, and yet it was not their first time out. She could feel on her eyes of other men, some of them even were heading slowly towards her. She, however, was focused on the orange shag, which has already walked towards her. She waved at him, unable to calm down for anything._

"_This excited?" He went to her, laughing softly._

"_Um ..." She muttered embarrassed, grasping his outstretched hand. "I'm sorry, I act like a child."_

"_I don't see any problem. I'm glad that I was able to please you." He smiled gently, squeezing her hand. "I don't know how you'll react when we leave the theater."_

_She raised her eyebrows, stopping next to him before entering the room. He looked toward the bar, furrowed brows in thought._

"_Ichi, let's go to the room. I don't want to eat any popcorn."_

"_I forgot that you're this type of person."_

"_Of course. They don't sell here the wasabi-flavored popcorn." She said seriously, pulling him to usherette._

„_There is something like that?" He asked quietly, unable to hide his horror from vision of such a meal._

* * *

„Ichigo!" She screamed as loud as she could, shooting out of the train.

She threw herself into his arms, hugging him tightly. In this way, she hid from him her tears that flowed from her eyes when she saw his hair on the platform. And he embraced her strongly, unable to enjoy her presence. He was happy that he have stood by the pillar, which at this time was his support.

„I missed you..." She sobbed quietly, trying even harder to hide in his arms.

„Me too." He whispered in her ear, closing his eyes.

They walked by hands over the streets of the city, talking about what was happening in their lives these days. Ichigo could not get rid of the stupid smile that graced his face. And she saw him so happy, she could not hold back as she hugged him from time to time. She was thirsty all his words, but also his presence.

He, despite her protests, carried her bag, making sure every now and then, if she really took things that she were going to left here for the future. She did not think that he will come out with such a proposal, but she could not enjoy more with the realization that he slowly began to open to her, his heart. She knew that they both still have a lot to say about themselves, yet there is many secrets between them, but they do not need to hurry. They had time. They could enjoy their presence.

"You should go, on the group date. Now you don't even know what you're missing being with me." She said quietly, looking at him sideways.

"Tsk! Why do I need it when I have you?" He growled with displeasure, squeezing her hand tighter.

„Stupid." She chuckled under her breath, focusing on a passing sites.

„Orihime?"

„Hm?"

„You already know what you want to see in Kyoto?"

She said nothing for a while, trying to overcome her embarrassment. Ichigo patiently waited for her answer. They stopped in front of his door when he pick up keys from his pocket. He opened the door, letting her come first.

"You know .. There is such a temple in Kyoto. On the site there are two stones in quite a distance. They call it love rocks ..." Orihime muttered under her breath as she sat down on the bed.

"If they are far apart, why they called it love stones?"

"You see ..." She took a deep breath for courage. Even to herself it sounded ridiculous. "The idea is that one of the partners should have followed the path between the stones with eyes closed."

"We'll go there. Finally, Kyoto is known for a large number of temples. I booked us a stay at onsen."

„You didn't have to ..." She moaned softly, lowering her head. He was spoiling her.

.

.

They went up the stairs, looking at the stalls and crowds of tourists in front of them. Orihime gasped at the sight, not expecting such an influx of people, though it was understood at that time. Ichigo sighed heavily, pulling her along. He do not care about the people around them, only stones, for which they climbed up the next stairs.

„Why the temples can't be placed like a temple in Karakura? With no need to climb?" Ichigo muttered irritably to himself, looking around the square.

Orihime smiled gently, understanding his pain. She was exhausted by constant struggle with endless stairs. She stopped suddenly, pointing with her free hand on the two stones lying near them. They were seen as the girl tried to cross the road to her boyfriend, but in the middle of the road landed almost at a market stall, so she had to open her eyes.

„It doesn't look as easy as I thought ..." She whispered under her breath, leaning more on Ichigo.

„So, you want to try?" Ichigo looked at her with curiosity .

"No way ... I just wanted to see it." She said confused, waving her hands in front of him.

"Do what you want, but I'll try."

She looked startled at him as he stood by a further stone and smiled confidently. As always, when he was going off to some fight. He closed his eyes, at the moment when she came to the second stone. She stared in disbelief as he walks toward her, if he could track down reiatsu it would be much easier, but having only the human senses he was not doing much worse.

Her eyes widened when one of the tourists fell on him, causing that he lose his orientation. He looked around with closed eyes, as if he was looking for some tips, and she does not know when she took guts to scream. "Kurosaki-kun!"

She was blushing, it was long time when she used his surname for the last time. And now, after hearing this he went on until he came to her, hugging her tightly. She cried with happiness, burrowing into him. He reached for her. _As always he returned to her_.

_Don't make me sad, Don't make me cry__  
__Sometimes love is not enough and the road is tough_

* * *

**(A/N) I'm back... i'm hope so **


	12. Love letter

Since Rukia appeared in his life, everything were complicated. Not only his free time, which amounted to hunt Hollows, or training, but also his personal life. Rukia lived in his closet and began to walk with him to school. Peeling the same route as he did. She drove him to distraction with her presence and depriving him of living space. And yet ...

For someone from the outside they looked like a couple.

He tried his best to avoid Rukia, or rather not give them too much time alone, away from work Shinigami. But everything went in vain, because she insisted to be his shadow. In addition, she was a person who could see through him, or rather his guilt. Annoying. He wondered where he made a mistake? When his mask broke?

Rukia was the most arrogant person he knew. Everywhere she threw her two cents, regardless of whether anyone asked her for it or not. She had to be the most important. Maybe because it she could recover him, when he could not stand his helplessness?

When he walked through the corridors of the school he heard rumors. Rumors about his person. What's worse, his non-existent relationship with Rukia. He did not know whether to be angry or to deny everything. Eventually, he did nothing.

Sometimes he just wanted to ask a Tatsuki, what she thinks about all this, but if he asked her about this, he would give a sign that she is indifferent to him. Therefore he remained silent. Once, Rukia had to disappear from his life.

He did not foresee was that so accustomed to her presence in his life. Her disappearance precipitated him from his eternal indifference. He could not find a place. And then Orihime said to him, how she sees it.

Of course, life without Rukia is weird. No one is beating down his face, his eyes are not tortured with artistic works or she does not drag him to the corners to talk about the purpose of it all. Rukia somehow reminded him of Karin.

She was important to him. She let him save those who are important to him.

Nothing more.

Love?

No. That was not it. His heart did not beat faster under her influence. His body would not refused to obey him. They were closely. As siblings, and close friends.

Rukia could stop the rain in his heart, giving him Shinigami powers.

But someone else brought him back a smile, someone else restore harmony his heart.

It was, however, a problem that he could not cope. Fighting Hollows was not so hard in comparison with it. When he fought, he was focused only on defeating the enemy, he had a clear mind. It has always been so, ever since he started to fight with anyone in sight on the road.

But he could not be honest with his feelings. He was afraid of them. He did not speak and did not show what he really feel. None of them did not require it. His sisters have found another way to know what was happening to him.

But just how tell an important person what was going on in his heart?

* * *

It was strange to wake up in his bed at his home. Out of habit, he was looking with hand Orihime, and the moment when he had not felt the next to him, his scowl returned to his face.

"ICHIGOOO!" Scream of his father woke him eventually.

He slipped out of bed only to kicked his father at the back. Brunet sore smiled with satisfaction by talking about their strong family ties, which survived even this separation. Ichigo did not even hear it. He dressed quickly, leaving the room before his father decided to renew the attack.

He went into the kitchen, where at the table sat already Karin and Yuzu. Ever since he came back, they did not stop asking him questions, with the innocent smile. Even he could tell that they were happy with his return.

"Ichi-nii, what you gonna do today?" Karin looked intently at him.

"I don't know yet. Maybe I visit some friends ..."

„So you're going to Orihime-chan?" Isshin came into the kitchen smiling widely.

"Forget pervert." He growled irritably, thrusting his stick in his ribs.

"But Ichigo, I want to have beautiful grandchildren's!"

„I said forget it!" He said coldly, standing up from the table.

„Oni-chan!" Yuzu yelled at him, but he did not listen to them anymore.

He realized that the relationship with any girl would make such comments. It was finally his family, but he could not help the irritation he felt every time. He sighed heavily, stopping in front of a bakery. She had the day off. But even so, he come here.

"Great ... It seems that unconsciously I want to go to her." He muttered under his breath, feeling a certain disappointment in himself.

He could not visit Chad, who was in the United States. Ishida always dropped out because their knowledge was based mainly on the fight against Hollows. He was not sure if he wanted to see him. As if he had longer thought about, he come to the conclusion that he did not know where he is studying and do he still live in Karakura. In the end it was Keigo and Mizuro only to visit...

He really do not have anyone to visit. Throughout the school he had not made arrangements to build a strong relationship with anyone outside of their group. And now he paying the price for it.

And he would stay there unless was not the presence of the younger guys. Because it was a holiday, no one wore a school uniform, but something told him that they were from his high school.

„You will not believe who I see when I walk to cram school!" One of them said with happiness on his face.

"Who?" Second boy muttered. He looked skeptical about news.

„Our former school-goddness!"

"Inoue!" They bawl out in a surprise stopping dangerously close to Ichigo.

"She attend to a cram school. But thanks to this I can admire her beauty. And I made up some pics!" He leaned toward friends with a devilish smile. "And her underwear!"

It was enough.

Ichigo turned to them, his hands in preparation for the coming blows. He grabbed one by the collar, looking at the rest of the murderous expression face."Can you repeat that?" He grunted through clenched teeth.

They paled and automatically moved back a step. If it were not his frightened friend who squirmed trying to escape from the clutches of Ichigo, a long time ago they would not be there. They knew who they were dealing with. The whole school finally roared from the information that led the majority of men's hearts. Ichigo Kurosaki, a boyfriend of their goddess.

"Kurosaki-sempai!" They groaned frightened, fleeing from his eyes.

"So! Something you said about the photos." He growled harshly, shaking boy with dark hair trapped in his hands.

For a moment there was uncomfortable silence between them. They felt like they was going to die at the hands of an older colleague, whose anger they felt on skin. They looked at each other, looking for answers, what they should do, their legs refused to obey. They shook like jelly under the influence of his vision.

"Pictures? What kind of pictures?" Plump chestnut stammered, feeling his body already covered a large layer of sweat. It could not have been a worst day.

"Not with me these tricks. One of you have photos of my girlfriend. They have to gone out of your possession. NOW." He spoke slowly, emphasizing each word. He was adamant, and the grip on the collar of his victim with every moment is tightened.

The loudly swallowed saliva. Their verdict was decided. If they won't do what he asked them, they all going to die. One of them pulled out a cell phone with trembling hands. Ichigo felt frustration, everything was happening too slowly. He took with his free hand phone, quickly finding images. Line at the temple throbbed dangerously. He gritted his teeth, erasing the entire contents. He threw the phone along with their friend at them.

„This time, I forgive you, but if I catch you again for sharing pictures of my girlfriend, then you will not recognize your reflection in the mirror."

He walked away from them quickly, breathing heavily. He could not afford to fight, especially not because of it. He clenched his hands at once, trying to calm down.

_Did she never stops attract the men?_ He thought angry, remembering the whole school and the boys eyes drift toward her and even some of them try of the pick up her. However, every attempt, did not end positively, through his interventions. He do not let them get close to her. And now, being so far away from her, he could not do anything.

* * *

_~~Flashback~~_

_He hated this holidays. Valentine's Day. Who invented it? All the girls went with these chocolates and suddenly confessed their feelings. As if they could not do it any other day. In this day he had even more severe aura around him, making him drive away from the people. Several times, as always, have to swipe Keigo to awake and stop whining that he do not get a single chocolate._

_Ichigo was above it all. Even when some dared to approach him, to give him chocolates, he refused. He did not want to give them false hope that he noticed, or even feel some sympathy for them. He could not remember anyone other than people of their group, and Orihime friends._

_But it was different this Valentine's Day. He had a girlfriend. And even when from the beginning of day he tried to convince himself that he do not want any chocolates and generally participate in all the confusion, he could not help the feeling of the disappoint, when Orihime came to class with empty hands._

_It's just chocolate. It do not mean anything. He does not care for them. So what if he likes chocolate. So what if she is his girlfriend, and should give him chocolate like any other girl her boyfriend. He is more than that. He does not care. __**Not at all**__._

"_Hello, Ichigo!" She said happily, walking over to him._

_In general, he did not care. __**Not at all**__._

"_Hey, Orihime." He said quietly, looking somewhere to the side. __**Not at all**__._

_She went back to her place, not saying anything else. She did not even bother to comment about this day._

_Maybe she forgot? He thought disappointed, watching her._

_This year they made it and they were in the same class, compared to Ishida and Chad, who landed in the others. Probably for other couples, it would be a sort of purpose, but then in the second grade they were in different classes. Maybe this helped him to realize how he lacking her presence?_

_He did not understand her. For all the lessons she almost did not speak to him. Sometimes just turned around to wave to him with her innocent smile. She did not seem particularly excited, or like the person who forgot about something. She spoke with colleagues something in magazine._

_The tide of bitterness is poured when Keigo came to class holding chocolates. And it's not from his sister and friends. A girl really gave him the chocolates! He clenched his jaw, not to explode, and not come to Orihime and do not require chocolates. He did not deserve? But he always save her! Always was with her when she was in danger! HE DESERVE THESE CHOCOLATES!_

_And so at whole day he was cloudy and he ignore everyone around him. He was too proud to come to her and say what he meant. Even for him it was a stupid reason, but even he is a normal teenager. He stopped at a shoe locker, wondering if he should wait for her, but ultimately concluded that there is no need for that._

_He opened his locker and his heart stopped._

_At his shoes lay a box of chocolates. And on it envelope. He swallowed hard pulling out the letter and read it carefully._

_Kurosaki-kun_

_On the occasion of Valentine's Day I wanted to give you these chocolates. Please accept it, even if you do not feel the same feelings as me. I would be pleased with the same consciousness that I caused you pleasure (I've heard that you love chocolate). Do not worry, they are not poisoned, or with a strange taste. They are pure expression of my love for you._

_Inoue Orihime._

_He smiled to himself, reaching for the box. She did not forget. She just did it her way. He changed shoes, waiting for her to appear. All of frustration over her behavior was in the past. In addition, his cheeks covered the delicate blush._

"_Ichigo?" She appeared within his eyes, in amazed she approached her locker. "I thought you were gone."_

„_I wanted to go, but I got a love letter and I have to answer it."_

"_Really? Fascinating, and you said that you do not get any ..." She said quietly, opening the locker._

_He went to her, leaning against the lockers. He measured her with puzzled look, seeing as at her cheeks appears a blush._

"_You don't want to hear the answer?"_

"_I don't know ... It's your love letter." She replied confused, running away from his eyes._

"_I'm pleased to accept everything."_

* * *

She set before him a cup of coffee, staring at his tense expression. He looked as if he were about to explode, and she did not want to see that, so she sat quietly next to him and waited until he decides to tell her what happened.

He did not know how he found himself in her apartment. He went mad around town trying to calm down after contact with her admirers, and eventually found himself in her apartment. He could feel her scent around him, causing his muscle to relax. He let out a hard-air reaching for the cup. Not being able to get angry with her. She killed any aggression in him.

He drank a cup of coffee in one gulp. Pleasant warmth spilled over him, causing a smile on his face. Then he hugged her, feeling much better. She moaned surprised by his sudden movement, but she could not deny it, that she missed his touch.

"Ichi ..." She said quietly, closing her eyes.

"Hm?" He replied wearily playing with her hair.

"What happened? You were nervous when you came ..."

He did not answer right away. He had to think about what he should tell her. He did not do anything to her admires. Compared to what he did in high school, this time he was polite and there were no bruises, but he definitely did hurt them in the psyche. He have never seen like someone so quickly fled from him.

He was proud of that. At least he was sure that no one dares to approach her, knowing that he will meet them when he finds out about this. But he could not be sure if Orihime take it with such joy.

„You should be more careful when you pick things from the floor."

She leaned back slightly from him, staring into his eyes questioningly. She did not understand what he meant.

He sighed in resignation. He lost. He could not refuse her. Not when she looked at him with those innocent eyes full of concern. When she became his weakness?

„I met your admirers today ..." He muttered embarrassed, pulling her back to himself so he did not to have to compete against her eyes.

"Who?" She asked amazed.

It was even cute when she do not realize how does she affect men, how many actually keeps eyes on her. But how he have to explain her what going on when her attention was always focused exclusively on him?

"Hime ... Even if you not realize it, you have fans. I met them today, and they said about you and the pictures that one of them did." With every word he said more quietly, resting his forehead on her shoulder, hiding his face from her. "I scared them a little."

She was silent, making him uneasy. He did not want her to be mad at him, and disappointed by his behavior, but he could not do anything about it, it has always been stronger than him. He could not just let a bunch of strangers guys hanging around her and doing her photos in any situation.

"Hime ... Are you mad?" He said shyly, stopping to play with her hair.

"I'm not angry." She replied calmly, hugging him tightly. "Thank you, Ichigo."

He was surprised by her reaction. He did not expect her to thank him for the fact that he scared her admirers. It has also raised his concern that any of them could do worse than snap a few photos. He furrowed his brow in silent question, not having the strength to draw from her some information. She could be unbearably stubborn.

It was a lie.

It was too good to hold her in his arms and he did not want to interrupt it with questions that would cause that she go away with him, depriving him of the heat. The case of her admirers can wait until he enjoy of her presence.

Although he did not want to admit it, he felt the inner frustration of knowing that they are both dressed. And that caused him to blush because of such thoughts. He wanted to feel her skin again on his. Hormones give to manifest itself after so many years of peace.

He bit his lower lip, hoping that his lower body regions will be unshakable. Perhaps he should not afford to touch with Orihime, maybe it was his mistake?

"You want something to eat?" Her voice broke him of apathy. He blinked several times, trying to shake off sleepiness. He did not even realize that he is tired.

"No, I will eat at home. You know, my sisters are now extremely urgent."

"They don't have you on a daily basis. It is normal for them to miss you."

„Probably."

He could feel her breasts press against him. Blushing once more graced his cheeks. In panic, he wondered what he should do next, when his mind was overwhelmed with immoral images, and the body has decided to betray him.

He should not afford such frivolity with her. Definitely.

She hugged him even harder, teasing his exposed skin with her breath.

_I swear, she will lead me to the grave._

_I don't care if heaven won't take me back.__  
__I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe._


	13. Magic

She always believed in her friends. She naively thought that there are no things for them to be impossible. That death would not reach them.

Meanwhile, sitting in her cell in Las Noches, she was told that the people who came to rescue her, will die before they even get close to her. She could feel how their reiatsu with every moment is reduced or even extinguished. She was terrified, but she still believe in them. That everything will be fine.

She saw how he beat the mighty captains. Maybe he could not beat Aizen, but after all he was after many grueling battles, but he won! He saved Rukia. Somewhere in her naiveté she suspected that he would never die.

But his reiatsu disappeared. It left her.

She wept and wailed. She wanted to run to him, she wanted to help him. After all, she did all this, that he would be safe! The door remained deaf to her cries and pounding. She would rather die than let them sacrifice their future for her. Why did they come for her?

The fact that women did not like her, were nothing new to her. She has always been persecuted and beaten. In any other situation she would allow them to ill-treatment of her. She did not mind it. Maybe she just did not know how to defend herself, and perhaps thought that would be pointless. At that moment, however, she wanted to run to him, she wanted to help him, why they did not understand? She did not care about Aizen, it's not for him, that she came here!

He surprised her. She did not expect help from any of the Espada. But Grimmjow helped her. He was not charming and gentle. He was wild and untamed. A little like Ichigo, but he was not him. He led her to him. She looked at his dead body and felt her heart dies of fright. How could this happen? She was afraid that her power was not enough. Wounds resisted her powers.

She had to heal him, to look again at his death? She could not let that happen! How many times he have to die for her? She is not worth it. That's why she has put up. She did not care that he would kill her, that in this moment everything could be over. But then his hand squeezed hand of Espada.

He asked her to heal him, and she could not refuse. She did everything that he wanted.

And he told her before the fight that he gonna win and they would go home.

It's just that her fear was not extinguished. It grew with every passing moment, with each new blow that landed on his body. His mask, his strength, his dedication sticks a painfully into her heart. She could not look at it. It was too painful, why he did not understand? Why did he come for her?

Why he let himself to be killed? Why he did not run?

She cried every time she saw him on the edge between life and death.

She cried when her powers were too weak to raise him again, to help him. She was terrified.

Why did he come?

* * *

If anyone ever told her how her life will look like after high school, she probably would never have believed it. But then she did not even know that her feelings for Ichigo can be returned. She wanted to be his strength, admire it from the shade and enjoy with his happiness. She not dared imagine if she was part of his life on a different level than friends.

She sighed heavily, improving kimono. She would rather spend the day with Ichigo, however, by the fact that she had to work until noon, she could not go to him. This is the first time when she will spend Tanabata. All her friends have were in other cities than Karakura. She did not blame them, because she would have done the same if she had the opportunity, but she could not help longing. These brief moments in which she can see with Ichigo and Tatsuki, it was not enough. After all accustomed to the fact that she sees them every day, and now it is well to see them once a month.

She did not tell Ichigo about the problems with which she struggle, she was still to feared, especially talking about the quiet fans who did not were so quiet. In high school, even she did not notice them. All thanks to Tatsuki. But now reliant on her own, she was vulnerable to their attacks.

If it were just teasing with an invitation for a date ... She could refuse and go forward.

Only it was not just that. She was afraid every day, especially now standing alone in a crowd.

„Ichi …" She moaned as she felt the tears gathering in eyes.

„Orihime-chan!" Cheerful male voice said near her, pulling her out of her thoughts.

She looked around her. Anxious eyes looked for some famous faces. Only after she noticed Isshin with daughters walking to her. She waved vigorously, smiling with relief. At least she was not alone.

„Kurosaki-san! Yuzu-chan! Karin-chan!"

"Buu!" Isshin cried crouched near her.

Karin and Yuzu stared at him in disbelief, and Orihime, not knowing what had happened, came over to him, leaning toward to hear even more of weeps.

„Kurosaki-san?"

"Don't worry about him. He's stupid." Karin shrugged, turning away from him.

"Karin! You cannot talk this way about our dad!" Yuzu said reproachfully, folding her arms on hips.

"Because Orihime-chan call me with surname! How my future daughter in law can speak that way to me?!" He cried in despair, embracing her.

Orihime squealed at the sudden touch, but she did not pushed his hands off her. She heard the twins say something about it, but she could not hear what exactly due to Ichigo's father sobs.

She could not fight it. She hugged him, allowing herself to sob. She could not remember her father, but from what told her Sora, it was better not to remember a man who did not respect his family. She did not know about father's love, she has not anyone to reliable. Therefore, in the spirit she felt envy of all her friends who have a family, whatever it may be.

She knew that Ichigo's father for some time was afraid to look at her, blaming himself that he failed to help her brother. She personally did not blame him for that. She was convinced that he had done what he could, but the desire is not enough to help someone. Especially in such a serious condition in which was her brother.

She still had doubts as to whether she should be so freely with Ichigo's family. The fact that now they were together did not mean that it will be so forever. Only her heart had not more straight to resist the courtesy of Isshin.

"Orihime-chan? Are you okay?" Isshin asked suddenly being totally serious.

He stroked her head slowly. He give sign to his daughters, they understood immediately what he mean and went to go in the stands, giving them some time alone. And she has cuddled up to him, thirsting for his every gesture. Even her heart was starved of parental love.

"Everything will be alright, Orihime-chan. You will pass the exams and join Ichigo. You just have to think positively about it. Remember that you are not alone, you have us. I know that in the eyes of my son, I'm not the most responsible person in the world. Finally, my way of education is not a this kind like at books, but I'm worried about you in my own way. " He spoke quietly, hugging her tightly. "If you have any questions or problems, you can always come to me. I will listen to you and try to help you. finally, for this are fathers."

She was crying. Loud, like a child who wants to force parents to buy some sweets. So long she was all alone, all her problems she has talking to the photo of brother, only that it was the dead, it will not answer her. Do not hug and show her that she is not alone. She had had enough of her loneliness and struggle with it. She had enough to pretend that everything is fine. Cause, it was not.

„I'm afraid ..." She barely mumbled, burying her in his arms.

„What? You're not afraid of my son, right?"

"Oh, no! No! Not at all!" She denied it vigorously, raising her head slightly. " Last time someone tried to break into my apartment ... and it was not the first such incident ..."

His eyes widened in shock. He pushed her away from him, shaking hands on her shoulders. She stood before him with her head down in shame of her weakness. Again, she made someone trouble, she should not even talk about it. But she was afraid.

She was scared of solitude.

„Orihime-chan, why don't you say anything before?" He said scared, hugging her again. "We cannot leave it this way! Orihime-chan is beautiful, because of it men cannot resist you." He paused, looking at returning to their twins. " I know! Orihime-chan can live with us! Ichigo's room is empty, you can use it. For sure he will not have anything against it."

* * *

_~~Flashback~~_

_It was their first Christmas together. At least she had imagined it. They were finally a couple of five months. It's just that their relationship was strange. They called each other by first name, although it still happened to her to say to him, "Kurosaki-kun." But everything else that was part of being a couple, it was out of her reach. No holding hands, no hugging, no kissing. Along with the new Naming nothing has changed._

_She did not have the courage to make a first move._

_But when she saw the approaching holidays she thought that here comes the perfect opportunity to go to another level in their relationship. Only, she did not assume that the class will hold a joint celebration. They were in last year, and probably they will never see each other._

_She was sitting in the karaoke club with girls, feeling a wave of disappointment. Otherwise, she imagined their first Christmas together. She had no family, so she could spend it with anyone. Eventually it turned out that they spend it with people from their class. In addition, they all had agreed to buy gifts. Of course not designed for a specific person. Therefore, along with Tatsuki she spent practically the whole day to find something that can appeal to everyone, regardless of gender. It was not so simple like she though._

_Finally she decided to buy a CD of one of the popular bands. Even if she do not hit on someone else's taste in music, it's a gift that it can be just give to someone else._

"_I cannot believe that instead of going somewhere just the two of you…You sitting here." Tatsuki sat down next to her giving her a portion of the cake._

"_This is the last Christmas with our class. And reputedly Keigo has pushed everyone to this idea."_

„_I think that Ichigo just doesn't want to spend time with you alone." She said dryly, sipping her coke._

_She looked down, not being certain what exactly should respond to such accusations. They went out to a date, but they did not look like a normal lovers._

_Ichigo said he didn't know if it's love ... I cannot require of him to behave like a prince from a fairy tale. Maybe he just needs time, and I should give it to him. We are a couple that I should do it. – She thought depressed, eating her cake._

_Before she went with Tatsuki towards her apartment, she gave Ichigo gift so that no one could seen. She did not want to cause awkwardness between them. It was her first gift that she did herself._

_She ran to Tatsuki, which measured her suspiciously. She would rather not talk about what she gave her boyfriend for the Christmas, especially if he did not give her anything. He was not prepared for such a turn of events, but she was glad to see a blush on his face._

„_I gave him a scarf." She said quietly, speed up the pace._

* * *

Wysiadła z pociągu rozglądając się po peronie. Napisała mu wiadomość, że przyjeżdża do niego, ale tym razem nie czekał na nią na peronie. Uśmiechnęła się pod nosem, czując okazję do zrobienia mu niespodzianki.

She got out of the train, looking around the platform. She wrote him a message that she was coming to him, but this time he was not waiting for her on the platform. She smiled to herself, feeling the opportunity to do him a surprise.

She started to leave, glancing back at the screen of her phone. She did not get any message or missed call. Probably she should be upset that he was not there, but deep down she suspected that he went with his friends from year to celebrate his birthday.

She was grateful that he gave her the keys to his apartment. She did not have at least wait for him at the door, or chase him around Tokyo. She meet his neighbors and greeted them, and they smiled and asked how she felt. It was a strange feeling when strangers who saw her from time to time, welcome her as his own. She could also be sure that if her boyfriend would meet with some other girl, they would immediately said her that.

She opened the door stepping inside. She looked around the room to make sure that he is there. Already several times happened that he fell asleep relaxing after classes. She closed the door, and walked to his bedroom. She turned on the laptop trying to find for herself some music.

One month ago she was ashamed to move without his knowledge of the bed. Finally she was entering his asylum, she did not want to be a nuisance or to prevail too much. Now she is free to behave as if she were at home. Do not arrange his apartment in her fashion , or occupied most of the space with her things, but she no longer felt the embarrassment to have it in here her teddy bear.

She pulled his birthday gift from bag and a small cake. Chocolate with strawberry-chocolate mass. She did it for the first time, but in the opinion of his family it was delicious, so now she have to complete the decoration.

When she finished it, she stuck to the fridge, along with champagne, which she brought. She could not wait for his return, when they will be close to each other again. She missed him so much!

She grabbed a pack of balloons and drew a few from it. Even if is not going be like usual, on his birthday, she could not imagine party without balloons. She barely blowing, flushing of the effort. She have never been good at it, rather balloons were popping than showed up in all its glory.

She tied them to the thread and hanged above the ceiling. Satisfied with the result, she grabbed the stuff out of the bag, in which she proposed to get changed and went to the bathroom. She had to somehow take the time, especially when Ichigo did not give her a sign of life.

She stepped into the shower, enjoying the warm water impinging on her body. A few hours spent at train, got her tired enough. In particular, she has not get any sleep cause she was making cake for him. She wanted everything to be perfect.

"Orihime?" She heard his voice behind the door of the bathroom.

She wondered whether she closed the door. She swallowed hard and finally leaved the cabin and wrapped in a towel. She sat there for far too long! Panicked she looked at her watch, she bit her lower lip in annoyance at herself.

The door opened slowly revealing at them her worried boyfriend. Orihime opened her eyes in shock, covering herself with hands. Ichigo blushed immediately, stood in shock in the same position staring at her wet body. She tried to smile and somehow defuse the atmosphere, but her gaze descended to the lower regions of his body and she felt like blushing even more. She should have been used to it, but she could not, especially in this situation!

"Sorry!" Ichigo become disconcerted at her sign, and rapidly closed the door.

She let out a sigh of relief, drying up fast. She did not know what she would do if he had not awakened in shock. For the first time since coming to him, it happened to them something like that. Dressed, grabbed hairdryer, wondering what to do after leaving the bathroom.

_But what if he haven't calm down yet? All because of me, and my laziness! Why?! Oh, why I didn't got out from shower quicker?! And I have not greeted him at the front door_. - She thought desperate, combing her hair with comb. _- Oh no! What with a gift! What if he unpacked it?!_

She quickly done her haircut and ran out of the bathroom, bumping straight at Ichigo, who was heading to the kitchen. He grabbed her by the shoulders, saving her from falling. She looked up, smiling broadly. She embrace him, reveling in his presence.

„Happy birthday Ichi!"

„Thank you." He hugged her tightly, inhaler scent of her hair. "I'm sorry, I wasn't on the platform, but I lost track in time when I was sat in the cafeteria with the guys."

"Um, it's okay. Thanks to that I could get ready for your return."

„That great, I'm glad you didn't get to bored without me." He murmured depressed.

"Ichi! It's not like that!"

"I know, I know. I only joking."

"Buuu…"

He smiled at her face, trying not to kiss her. "You wanna something to drink?"

"I have surprise for you in kitchen! Let go!"

She walked with him to the kitchen, telling him to turn around so he would not to see the cake. She got out champagne from the fridge and handed him to pour it into glasses. He raised his eyebrows, but did not protest. Finally, it was not strong alcohol. She pulled out the cake and plunged into the candle of his age.

„Done. You can turn back." She said cheerfully, holding in hands cake with a burning candle.

"Cake! You shouldn't have!" He shouted surprised, leaning in to blow out a candle.

"Just don't forget to make a wish. A birthday without a cake are not a birthday at all!"

He smiled with a happiness, speaking in the spirit of his wish. They cut up piece by piece, and hid the rest back in the fridge. They went back to his bedroom, where it lay on his bed unopened gift. Orihime sat down at his chair, slowly sipping champagne.

„You can unpack."

"I know I can." He laughed under his breath, finishing his drink. "But just your presence is the best gift for me."

She blushed hard at his words, turning away from him. How she hated him for this! How could he say such a thing so freely?!

_I don't know why__  
__Keep making me laugh, Let's go get high_


	14. Passion

He promised her.

Damn it, he told her in person that he would protect her!

But protected from what? What did he mean by saying these words? He will defended her against Hollows? Arrancars? Shinigami? Quincy? Fullbringersi? People? From herself? From any pain? _From him?_

Who was he to do so? After all, he was an ordinary teenager, he could not be her shadow. He could not protect her from everything. He knew it, but he did not want to accept it.

She died?

Why his heart became suddenly empty when these words were spoken?

She died?

No!

No!

No!

Why he felt this anger? Anger? Why he utters these words? Why did not he went and asked for help? He was not alone, he's got friends. He knows that.

No!

No!

No!

He promised to protect her, not them! It was his job. He had to save her!

That's why he went. Let the whole world will hate him, he did not care. He had to save her, even at the cost of his life.

Why he was in such a hurry? Why he was so impatient? She had not been under any judgment. He was not limited in time, and yet, he ran like a possessed. He was ready to overcome every obstacle, just to get to her, and to finally remove the uncertainty from his heart. _This tedious emptiness_.

She was always with him. Every day he saw her at school. He could see her smile and hear her voice. She was always at his fingertips, why now she does not here? Why she was not there when he awoke? Why she did not wake him up and did not tell him about it? Why did she leave him?

Why he was so angry? Why he did not wondered on what to do? He did not want anyone's death, but he hated the view, when someone else touches her. Talked about her as if she were an object.

He sacrificed everything. Did not care about his shinigami powers. He just wanted everything to be as it was always.

What it mean exactly?

He was a high school student. He was going to school, met friends and greeted them. Sitting in class saw her come in and greets him with a smile. _Normal every day_.

* * *

When he returned home for the holiday period he was shocked. Not that his father had not greeted him by a kick in the face. He was even grateful. However, he do not expect to see in the living room Orihime, together with his sisters watching a show.

He realized that he had forgotten something important, what she said during the celebration of his birthday. He had been too absorbed in her person, to focus on what she said. And now he was trying to do something that he would not look like a total idiot. He looked at his father coming out of the clinic. He was surprisingly serious. He could see in his eyes that he wanted to talk to him, so he went hastily to his office. Isshin sat down at his desk, pouring himself a glass water.

Ichigo sat down across from him, not understanding what was going on.

And then his father began to speak. Not only that his girlfriend moved in with his family, which truth be told made him even happy. She was not still all alone and it was on the doorstep. Of course, she done nothing with her apartment, it just was not used. He learned, too, that she has been placed in his room, sleeping in his bed, but in worse she could look under it and see things he do not want to show her. This problem, however, was quickly erased from his mind when he heard about the reason for these changes.

He knew that rage. This internal roar pushing him to bloodshed. He always felt it when he saw her in danger. Maybe that's why he killed Ginjou? The fact that he deceived him for his own purposes, as revenge on the Soul Society, was irrelevant. He was used to the fact that people use him for their own purposes. But he could not stand when he played with the minds of his family, that because of him _Orihime had betrayed him and cried_.

Orihime by his stay in the home lived in his sisters room, just like Rukia before. The only difference is that sometimes at night came to him and nestle into him. As he expected, she did not say anything about the persecution, or attempt to break into her apartment. Maybe she acknowledged that he knew it from his father, but in her case it was more likely that she did not want to worry him. So he with all his might to hold back, to not to ransack the city and do not find the person responsible for it. He did not want her to worry. Now, when she finally, lived with his family, she was safe from any danger.

In afternoons he escorted her to work, in the evenings when she end he came for her. Although she said he did not have to do that, he stubbornly continued this ritual. Not just because he missed her so much that he went hard to part with her even for a moment. _He desired her_. Every day more and more.

The main reason for this was to observe the environment: how many men look at her, what their eyes will tell him, or how many of them raise their hands to the cells to take pictures? He have never had a memory for names and faces. In this case, his mind will save them on the black list. As soon as they meet one on one the gonna regret that they became interested in his girlfriend.

A year ago, he would have been proud of the fact that Inoue told him her feelings and was his girlfriend. He would be the peacock, which ruffle under the influence of envious glances. That would be a year ago. Now, knowing how many of those quiet fans goes much too far, he could not be so proud of his relationship with her. _He had to protect her_. Even if she did not ask for it.

But now that the holiday is ended and had included meetings with most of his friends, even with Chad, who came to Japan from the United States, specifically to spend some time with him. He told him aboutHollows and shinigami's in his area. Not that he was somehow especially interested in, but since they decided to tell each other everything, to never get into a situation like with Tsukishima, thus he sat and listened patiently. Even managed a little laugh of his adventures.

However, he did not found the person responsible for breaking into his girlfriend's apartment, which it completely ruined his the mood. He hated to be powerless in any case.

„Kurosaki." Cool masculine tone spoke to him, waking in him the immediate irritation.

"Ishida." He muttered under his breath, turning to him.

He did not change by the half-year. Glasses is still the same, maybe a little longer hair, but he do not get rid of the cold beating from him. He breathed out, not knowing exactly what to say. Apparently he wanted to improve relations with him, but did not know how to do it without breaking with Orihime.

„Is she happy?"

He surprised him with this question. He loosened his muscles, smiling involuntarily. He definitely miss their former relationship. Was she happy? With him?

"Yeah she's happy. Maybe sometimes she complains about the lack of wasabi on a meal, but beside it she laughs a lot. She has become stronger and more independent."

„Wasabi, huh?" He smiled nostalgically as he sat down next to him on the step. " I always knew that she loves you. And sometimes I regretted that I couldn't refuse her."

„Hm? Refuse?"

„For example, when she asked me to bring her to the roof of Las Noches. She always wanted to be close to you. Perhaps I shouldn't take her there."

Ichigo was silent for a moment, staring at the shimmering surface of the river. He should not be surprised that his girlfriend had such an impact on Ishida, since he had the deeper feeling for her.

„If you didn't, we all probably would have died in Hueco Mundo." He said jokingly, throwing a pebble in front of him.

„You really think so?"

„Not that I don't appreciate the captains, but the fight with that fat man tired them very well, and Ulquiorra was really strong and agile in comparison with that lump of meat."

„I guess, you've right…"

"How studies? Finally , not the same Hollows man alive." He turned to him with a grin.

Ishida was surprised by his behavior. He have never seen this kind of smile at him. He could not do anything about it, but smiled, raking a hand through his hair.

„They are a pain in the ass, but somehow I'm doing just fine."

"You probably are surrounded with the same gloomy persons like you?"

„Kurosaki ..." He growled in a warning, feeling like a wave of irritation overwhelmed him again.

„I'm sorry, it just somehow…came out…"

"Don't explain it in such a pathetic way. You're still a barbarian, and I don't know how you can provide her a happiness. Indeed, you're crude gorilla."

„Cruel ..."He muttered hurt, getting stretched lazily. "Gorilla can be Renji. I may be the only uncouth hamster."

„A hamster?"

Ichigo laughed loudly, staring at the sky. For long time he has not felt so light. As if everything is back to normal. "It's a long story."

„Let me guess… Inoue calls you that?"

Blinked, he turned to him. He looked sullen, putting his hands in his pocket.

„Maybe…"

Brunet has laughed, covering his mouth at the same time.

„Ishida-kun?" Orihime stood on the top of the stairs with a grid full of different breads.

„Inoue-san." Ishida wiped tears from the corners of the eyes and stood up, wanting to say hello.

Ichigo walked up to her, embracing her. He was a little angry that she did not inform him that she has ended her ship little faster, but it did not work out quite as bad as he thought. Orihime was smiling gently looking at him.

* * *

_~~Flashback~~_

_That was in October. He was sitting in class and waited until Orihime come, telling how was in her work, like every day. Minutes passed, and she did not came. He felt a growing concern. If he could, he would run off from school and began to look for, but he had too many absences and this time Ochi-sensei might not be as merciful as in the first class, where she told him to just go for extra lessons._

_When he looked out the window, he felt even more depressed. Latest weather was not good at all, which was odd even to the climate in which he lived. It was rainy, in the morning fog greeted him, and after the school was quite warm, even if there was a drizzle. It was no wonder that many people began to get sick. His father's clinic was filled with patients who handed out around the germs._

_Suddenly Tatsuki came to class with an extremely worried expression. He saw her in such a state when Orihime was abducted to Hueco Mundo. In that moment he felt his heart in his throat. What if she was hurt again?_

„_Ichigo!" The girl came to him, she was little uneasy, but he could not see the anger in her, like then, when Orihime was kidnapped._

"_Hey Tatsuki, what's up?" He tried to sound normal, ignore the questions that he had in head._

„_Orihime is sick, she has a fever, and I cannot take care of her. Could you do it for me?"_

„_Sure."_

_He was relieved. The tension of it disappear in an instant. If it was a disease, he can be able to help her. Throughout the day, he wondered if he should be slate her that she had not enough care of herself, or maybe swing on the hand and say nothing. If it was not his sister, not she was also Rukia and how he thought about it more, he never raised his voice at her. He never yelled at her. He just could not._

_He did not want to see tears in her eyes. When he saw them at anybody else, he did everything to stop it, even if it meant getting into a fight with someone stronger than him. However, __**when Inoue was crying, he finds himself crying**__. He felt helpless and small. So he promised himself after that night, that he would never let her cry._

_He knocked, waited a while until he hears some movement on the other side, but there was not a sound. He grabbed the door handle and, to his surprise, he realized that the door is open. He walked in, looked around her apartment to finally find her in her room, plunged into feverish delusions. He gritted his teeth, trying not to scream. He could not believe that she had left the door open. But at first he measured the temperature._

"_Forty-degree fever! Is Tatsuki at all measured her the temperature?" Ichigo muttered irritably under his breath, going to the bathroom._

_He knew the location of her apartment, finally he helped her moving out. It was partly his fault, when he fought with her brother he did not thought about surroundings, so she had to left her old apartment. He felt obliged to help, and so he knew that all medication she held in the bathroom._

_He looked in the cupboard and found the slices of lowering the temperature. It were not enough but he could temporarily alleviate her suffering. He called home informing that probably he come back late. He promised his father that if her condition does not improve, he will take her to the clinic. He tried to sound grown-up and responsible, but he really was worried. Orihime was alone in the apartment, there was no one to watch with her at time like this._

_When he returned from a nearby pharmacy with additional medications, he went to the kitchen to make something to eat, but no matter how long he stared at the products, he did not know what to do. Kitchen was Yuzu area, not his. And beyond the usual sandwiches he could not do anything normal._

„_Damn…" He murmured under his breath, hiding his face in his hands._

„Ichigo?"

_Her soft hoarse voice woke him from self lynch of his ignorance. He went into the room, staring at her anxious eyes. Somewhere along the way he lost his anger, what he had against her. He had so many things to say, but now he forgot everything. He sat on next to her bed, trying to make reassuring smile, but her giggle realized him that it came out badly._

„_Don't laugh…" _

„_I'm sorry, but what are you doing?"_

„_I take care of my sick girlfriend. You've problem with that?"_

„_No." She smiled gently, increasing even more blush on her cheeks. "Thank you."_

"_You have nothing to thank me. I didn't do nothing beside sticking that plaster."_

„_But you're here…"_

_He looked down, feeling foolish. He could realize sooner that even one's presence is important to her, especially when she live alone. He sighed, wondering what exactly he should do when preparing a meal was in over his head._

_He put before her a cup of tea and tablets. He watched as she slowly swallows them, one after the other. She did it slowly, and her hands were shaking so it was a miracle that she does not sloped around her tea._

_For a moment there was silence between them. She did not have the strength to do anything, so she lay down striving to stay awake, and he sat staring out the window. He did not know when he began to speak, not only to speak, but the joke about Chad, Rukia, Renji or Ishida. And the more he speak, the louder she laughed. Especially when he with desperate stated that he isn't much better than Ishida, in fact, they are quite alike in character._

_He had never belonged to people who gossip about anyone, but that day he could not remain silent, he spoke all that he had at heart, exaggerated some of the facts and laughed with her._

* * *

He woke up, drawing Orihime even closer to him. He hugged her, trying to fall asleep again, to stop time. He did not want to go back to Tokyo and again be separated from her. He also hoped that his father, do not decides to do his normal wake up call.

He felt every muscle in her body trembling, her hands tightened on his shirt. She woke up slowly, without making any moves that could separate them. He was even impressed with how long her body was able to withstand without changing position.

Today was her birthday. And also the penultimate day, which they can spend together. If only he could, he would kidnap her to Tokyo ignoring that she should go to work and take courses. Most of all he want to have her closed it his room and do not let her go anywhere, but this was not possible. He had to share her with the world. Finally she was not his toy.

„Ichi .." Orhime murmured softly, pulling up enough that he felt her breath on his cheek.

He stiffened immediately, trying to banish from his head the inappropriate thoughts, but the way she entwined around his neck and pressed on her breasts on his chest, was making it a hard to do it. His eyes rested on her lips slightly parted, which encouraged him to kiss her already. He took a deep breath, finding finally the courage to kiss her. Finally they were together for over a year!

"Ichigooo! It's breakfast time!" The door crashed showing the laughing brunet in his white pajamas with red hearts.

Flushed, Ichigo pulled away from the girl, looking down from the desire of the murder at his progenitor. Orihime murmured with discontent, seeking his warmth. She was too used to the morning event in this house to react somehow.

„We will be at the minute." He growled angry, digging out of bed.

A man laughed and pulled out with the satisfaction of the room. Ichigo suspected that spoiling his mornings, was his father the biggest joy. He looked back at cowering girl who still refused to get up. He smiled to himself, grabbing the blanket and removing it from her body. Orihime gasped surprised, sitting up immediately. She looked at him reproachfully, crossing her arms on chest.

„Ichi is a fool." She muttered standing up.

„Oi, you heard my dad, we need to go for breakfast."

She said nothing. She looked at him only for the last time, pointing to his boxers and went out with a bang. He lowered his eyes to bulge sighing heavily. And so he was hoping that this time will not be any surprises.

"It's all her fault. She tucked into my bed, what poor me could do?" He said to himself, choosing some clothes out of the closet for the day.

„HAPPY BIRTHDAY ORIHIME-CHAN!" Kurosaki family chorus greeted the girl in the kitchen.

Ichigo just smiled at the sight of her tears and how she thank everyone for their efforts. He suspected it was the best birthday she had since the death of her brother. He hoped that his plan will hit it off to her. Although he would prefer to just stay in his room, he knew that his girlfriend likes to spend time with others. For too long she was alone.

„Come on Hime, we have before us a rough day." He said teasingly, grabbing her hand.

„It will be a rough day?" She walked beside him, trying to read his face.

„Yep, rough. The Wight with Aizen wasn't so hard like this day."

She raised an eyebrow, but the boy remained silent as vicious. They stayed until the park to catch breath. He looked at her bewildered expression of amusement. She totally did not know what to expect from him from a birthday present. It was one of the things of which he was proud. He could surprised her by the fact that it was difficult to read his intentions. She could read his mood, and distinguish it from Kon, but nothing else.

„Orihime!" A girls voice spoke behind them.

They turned to see Tatsuki reaching together with friends from high school. The girl squealed with delight, breaking the grip of Ichigo and rushed to them. He took a deep breath, trying to stand still and do not do anything stupid, as approach her and take her far away from everyone. Finally, he asked them about it!

"Hey Ichigo!" Keigo with the rest came from the other side, everyone was in good spirits and everyone had a gift for the birthday girl.

„Hey, so you decide show up, huh?"

„It's obvious Kurosaki, we are talking about Inoue." Ishida adjusted his glasses stopping near him.

"I see, as usual, you're so funny." He grunted to himself, tucking his hands into pocket.

He heard another girl screeching, as she ran to the boys greeting them. She cried with joy, taking another wishes and gifts. Now They have not so many opportunity to meet with everyone, because of it the days like that were almost a kind of miracle.

"Orihime!" A woman's voice spoke behind everyone.

The girl's eyes widened momentarily, seeing the blonde near to her, which vigorously waved to her and beside her walked Rukia, Renji and Toshirou. Ichigo laughed, seeing like girl falls on her knees, roaring like a beaver. Rangiku rushed to her and hugged with all her strength.

„Yo, Ichigo." Renji walked up to him with his typical offensive smile.

„Yo."

In fact, he did not care to see people from the Soul Society, but he was glad to see her happy.

_Don't you know you're everything I have?__  
__And I wanna live, not just survive, tonight._

* * *

**(A/N) I had little problems with net... Not good. i feel that something went wrong. I lost my IchiHime power... Fiction "Just give me a reason' killed my love... If love isn;t enough... What is? *crying***


	15. Showing yourself

She liked to walk behind him. Look at his back. He was someone she could not catch up.

He was a kind and understanding. Always take care of others, risking his live. That how he was. She wanted to be stronger, she wanted to relieve a little the suffering from him. She wanted to be like Rukia.

She was not Rukia. She was not a Shinigami. She was not so serious and normal. She had a strange taste in cooking, exuberant imagination, and most commonly in the world she was weak.

Could she do her weakness as her strength?

She was not so defenceless. She knew how to defend herself against brutes. Tatsuki could not live peacefully if she did not learn self-defense. Her powers were not so weak. She have Tsubaki ... Just could not use it. Probably she would be a lot stronger, but her heart refuses to cause someone pain, that preventing her of good control of her weapon. It can kill a Hollow, but nothing else. Her powers were too weak to fight the Arrancar, she was not ready for that. Maybe somewhere deep down she believed that she does not have to fight? She believed that Ichigo will come and save her.

She used to rely on him by his character. He always tried to fight back, not wanting to someone else be hurt. He always was like that. She did not want to rely on him completely. So she trained.

Maybe it was not enough? Maybe her desire were too weak?

* * *

It was her first birthday, at which she was really happy that she was born. Did not wake up in an empty apartment and did not have to wear any mask. All day, someone was with her and she could not stop crying. She did not know how Ichigo sees it, she did not care of it. She was grateful to him for this birthday, for this happiness.

October, however, appeared to welcome all the rain mercilessly. There was not a day on which there would be no cloud cover. She was glad that Ichigo was not here, he did not like the rain. He was always sulking and did not feel like doing anything. She knew that in such times, he need to take time for himself.

Isshin for it every morning reminding her to take some pills and vitamins to strengthen immunity. He acted as father should be, and despite the initial confusion, she quickly got used to the fatherly concern.

She did not know when Ichigo's house became her home.

„Orihime-chan, will you be going to Ichigo this weekend?" Isshin came into the kitchen, holding in hands some medicine.

"Um, I planned so. Is there something wrong?" She flooded cups boiling water, watching intently head of the family.

"No, nothing like that." He smiled gently, putting drugs on the table. "You have to take him some vitamins. He is accustomed to ignore his health. Or he consider that you will always heal him."

„I'll take it to him." She set before him a cup of coffee, sitting in her place.

„Well, it's good that my foolish son have such a good girl." He laughed, watching the scenery outside the window.

"I'm not that good." She muttered under her breath, swallowing medication.

"You remind me Masaki in many ways. I'm not surprised that Ichigo is against you so touchy."

She looked down, not knowing what to say. She not expected to be compared to Ichigo's mother, and now she do not even know if it was flattering or not. Maybe Ichigo do not feel to her as she feels for him, but he sees her as a lost mother?

She shook her head, trying to banish unwanted thoughts. Maybe if they told openly about their feelings would be better? Maybe she would not feel so insecure?

She could see that she had an impact on Ichigo, it was not difficult. Still, he was a normal guy, and his body just reacts to such things, it often happen subconsciously. They were together for over a year, and even had never kissed. She wanted it, but she was afraid to take the first step. She would emerge as whore. Ichigo was not a man of words, he preferred to show his thoughts through actions. Only that the relationship between them is difficult to determine the relationship of lovers. That she could finally hold him by the hand and hug him does not go beyond friendship.

She bit her lower lip going into Ichigo's room. She had to prepare for the course. But most of all she did not want to show to Isshin her negative side. She had no right to undermine Ichigo and his feelings. It's just that she wanted to be a little bit not sure. No. She wanted him to finally ceased to be the sober guy with respect for others and be a little selfish.

She sighed, sitting down on the bed. She did not want to think about whether he would treat Rukia otherwise, whether there would be between them the kiss? She did not want to remind Masaki. She wanted to be Orihime, the girl he loved that it, and not for the sake of respect for the memory of his mother.

Sometimes she wished that night did not dare to kiss Ichigo. Empty kiss without meaning would hurt, but at least she would not be so inexperienced in this topic. She could hear the girls around her gossiping about their experiences with their boyfriends. What could she say?

She loved Ichigo. Whether he feel it the same or not. Even if he pushed her away and chose anyone else, she would love him. Silly hopeless love. Perhaps in time, after a few years she would move on from it and begun to notice other men? Perhaps in time her heart would be ready for a new love?

Maybe she should end this relationship?

* * *

_~~Flashback~~_

_It was during the period when she broke up with Ichigo after not bear giving him more pain. She was returning home from work, wondering what she should do with her life. Before she came to the house was attacked by a Hollow._

_That surprised her. She have not met any for long time and at first she did not know what to do, completely forgot about her powers. Then she saw a blue arrow piercing the sky. She was relieved staring at the monster slowly disappearing. Ishida stood behind her with his serious face. She swallowed hard, wondering what he had to say. She would have preferred him to say nothing and just went on his way, but that was not possible._

"_Thank you, Ishida-kun. It really surprised me. I didn't expect to find on my way a Hollow. So long I haven't seen them, that I forgot what I should do." Panicked she babbling to herself, trying to smile._

„_Inoue-san. "He said coolly, adjusting his glasses. "Why don't you give me a chance? I will protect you better than Kurosaki! He has no power! You cannot defend yourself. You need someone with you, but not him, who thinks only of himself!"_

_Her eyes widened as she felt tears come to them. At the heart she felt pain, and her mind screamed to run away, to do not listen to him._

"_He just makes you cry ... Nothing else!"_

"_Ishida-kun ... I'm sorry. I know that you have to suffer, that you cannot accept this. But I told you that I would not be able to reciprocate your feelings. I love Ichigo. No matter what he feels about me, whether I cry because of him or not. I love him and that does not seem to change for long time. Please don't say things you may regret it! You were his friend. Fought at his side, why do you hate him now so much?"_

"_Is not it obvious? He was a Shinigami."_

„_But he's not anymore! He have no power. It was the price he paid for helping Soul Society!"_

"_That's it. He will always be a dog of shinigami." He growled harshly, grabbing her hand. " I'll walk you home."_

"_I don't want it." She pulled away with difficulty, breathing hard. "He's not they dog. He just can't do otherwise. They are his friends. You want me to believe that you don't like Renji?!"_

"_It does not matter. I don't know for what you move this topic."_

"_Because I want to understand why you hate him! I love him! It's me who made this decision, so stop taking revenge on him for my love!" She screamed, no longer holding back tears. She ran to the home, not wanting to listen for the Ishida words._

_She did not understand him. No matter how much she tried to do it._

* * *

„Hime!" His warm voice rang out on the platform.

Flushed she turned in his direction. She smiled shyly, feeling her heart beating like crazy again. When it finally settle down in his presence?

"Ichi-kun." She said confused, playing with net in her hands.

He smiled walking over to her. He grabbed her hand and began to lead toward the exit. He was breathless and flushed from exertion. She suspected that he fell asleep again after lectures and as he woke up, he ran to the station to pick her up.

They walked in silence, not forcing themselves to any conversation. In Tokyo, the weather was much better than in Karakura, despite cloud cover, there was no sign of rain. She was glad to know that Ichigo did not have to put up with his hated weather.

Sometimes she wondered if Ichigo also thinks about their relationship, if he have any doubts about it, or do he feel tired of this situation. It's just that every time she see him, she could not recognize if he lie to her. Ichigo was a bad liar. Only if her love was enough to be in this relationship? Or maybe she's just too selfish desire for something more?

They went to his apartment with a feeling of relief. At least for the duration of their trip does not one drop fell. She took off her shoes and walked into his bedroom. Ichigo with a net, which Orihime gave him a moment ago, went to the kitchen to make them something to drink.

In the air it could be feel tension.

"I made hot chocolate. Can it be?" He entered the room with mugs of steaming beverage.

She nodded, sitting on his bed and hugging her teddy bear, which she left here. She was surprised to see him stretched out. She could not hide her smile, knowing that he was not ashamed to have such a toy in sight.

"You want to tell me something?" He sat next to her, feeling awkward. For the first time he did not know what to do with his body.

"Um ..." She muttered to herself, frowning in consideration. She was not sure if she was ready to talk.

He handed her a cup and lifting her away for a moment from the subject. She grabbed it enjoying the warmth radiating on her hands. They drank in silence, getting ready for a much more serious conversation. Once it had to be made. She knew it, but did not think it would be so difficult. _She love him_.

For God's sake, she could not imagine life without him. She could not bear knowing that he's gone! Only if they will be able to act like friends, if their relationship fall apart? Pretend that nothing happened? But then again nothing happened. They did not kiss, did not have sex. Maybe it would have been really easy to forget about "them"?

She put the cup on the desk, clutching a teddy bear for a moment in her hands. Maybe although there she could found the answer to what she should do now. Ichigo sipped his drink and went to the kitchen to set aside dishes. She had little time to decide. And in every moment her heart was bursting with pain.

Stop loving him?

Is it even possible?

He came back and satt against the wall, down next to her, gently biting his lower lip, fighting with his thoughts. He was not used to the quiet Orihime. And she sighed, changing position. Snuggled into him hungrily, inhaling his scent. _How she missed him_. Resign from him? Is there any way to do it, since she's so much addicted of him? He embraced her, pressing her body even tighter to him.

Stop loving Ichigo? She did not have the strength and will to it. She could not stop loving him. Even the sight of his Hollow did not change her heart. What could do it?

"Ichi ..." She whispered with breaking voice. She was close to tears.

"Hm? What happened?" He drove his hand down her back, causing the march of pleasant shivers down her body.

„I love you…"

She closed her eyes, afraid of his reaction. Earlier, when she told him about her feelings, she did not feel such pressure. Now saying these words, she felt like drowning. She could not turn back, she could not pretend that nothing has happened. He was sitting in silence, still caressing her. She do not expect him to confess her love, it's not a movie or manga for girls. She did not know just exactly what she can expect from him.

"Hime ... " He whispered, during inhalation of her shampoo scent. He had watery eyes, and his hands trembled slightly. "Thank you. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Her heart was beating like crazy. He do not confess her love, but she do not expect any of this, but the fact that he thanked her for her feelings, caused that she began to cry. Cuddled up to him, sobbing, unable to overcome in order to break up with him again. She could not do it.

„Ichi ..." She shuddered when she realized that she was ready. She gonna tell him. Everything. "I have never really told you about myself, about everything. I want to do it now... Will you listen to me?"

"Of course I will. You can tell me anything, Hime."

She smiled gently. It was her Ichigo, nothing has changed since the first time she saw him.

„When it comes to my parents, I practically don't remember them. When Sora took me away from them, I was three years old. And he was never willing to talk about them. I only know that my father was an ordinary clerk, who fell into alcoholism and stress associated with wasted lives, unloaded on their children. Sora said he often beat me, until I stopped crying. As for my mother ... I think I inherited after her this appearance ... She was a common prostitute. I don't know whether the man who was called my father really was him. I only know that my mother didn't treat seriously the family, for her was only counted her customers and cash. Sora gave up further education for me. He raised me like he was my father. I loved him very much. "She sobbed uncontrollably, burying herself in him. And he hugged her tighter as he felt himself crying. He remembered that night, in which his sword gone through her brother. Night, in which he saw his dead body in the clinic. But he said nothing, not wanting to interrupt her story. He had to give her time for revealing all the secrets. "At his funeral, there was some people from his work, but also family members. There were quite a few, on one hand you could counted. All wear scornful glances. They said it would be better if I died than Sora. Probably because I reminded mother to them. Distant cousin of my father asked me if I wanted to go with her or stay in Karakura. Although I didn't have anyone else, I didn't want to leave this city, where I lived with Sora, so she told me she would pay for an apartment and send money for food, provided that I will be in the top three in school. I did everything to keep the contract with the lady. Especially when I become friends with Tatsuki. This lady rarely contacted me. Once a year, maybe she called to see if I'm alive. When I got a job, she stopped sending money for food. Still paying for an apartment, but nothing more. When my grades started to fall and I didn't got to any of the studies, she called that our contract is void. " She bit her lip as she felt his hands tighten on her sweatshirt. He was furious. But he said nothing, knowing instinctively that story has not yet ended. She took the air. "When you went to training with the Visored, I was called by Urahara. He told me that without Tsubaki I'm not needed in the upcoming war. He was probably right, but when I ran out of the store, I met with Rukia, who offered me training in Soul Society. I was really happy because I could strengthen my capacity and I wouldn't be so useless to you. It's just that during training we received news that arrancars invaded Karakura again. Rukia walked off, and I was a few minutes after her. I was walking along with two shinigamis, but the emergence of Ulquiorra shattered any chance of escape. He killed them. Don't even give them time to draw a weapon. Then he told me that for twelve hours, I would have to join Aizen. He would not even hear the objection, but he let me say goodbye to one person, but so that person did not know that. Initially I wanted to go to Tatsuki, but eventually I went to you. Sorry. I should fought with Ulquiorra. I don't remember what happened during the battles with Ginjou, I only know that I did something very bad. Sorry."

He stroked her hair, trying to control his anger. He wanted to hurt someone. Maybe he do not really want her to tell him that all. _Maybe then it would be easier for him._

"You know I talked to your dad about my future, because until now I didn't know what I should do. So, I decided that I wanted to be a teacher. It was hard to decide, because I had so many goals!"

He smiled shyly hearing that she dealt with one of her problems. At least he knows what to expect in their future. She took a deep breath, trying to say something, but with his touch on her, it was difficult to keep calm.

"They got this guy who tried to break into my apartment. It turned out that the police were looking for him for many rapes ..."

He stopped completely, not dare to breath, in his mind he tried to keep calm. Orihime timidly tried to break away from him, afraid of what might happen after these words. He tensed, without giving her the possibility to distance herself from him. She moaned, feeling trapped. _But why smile never left her lips, and she felt so strange light?_

_The road is long, we carry on__  
__try to have fun in the meantime_

* * *

**(A/N) I'm back.. It take much longer that I thought. Thanks everyone who follows this story, or even faves. It mean a lot for me. :) But hiatus in Bleach isn't good... And what with this possibility that Ichigo will stay in Soul Society forever? I don't wanna this! Buuu...**


	16. Kiss

He was probably supersensitive. Even if she did not see it, everyone else did. She was important to him, so that why everyone who wanted to attract his attention, attacked her.

That night he saw her eyes, heard her pleas and saw himself in the night, when his mother died.

Since that day, when he opened the door of the clinic, it started.

He knew that she went to his school. Maybe even passed him in the hallway, but he never had a memory for faces or names. But after that night, he remembered her perfectly. He watched her. He just could not stop to worry about her. Finally, she was alone, she had no family.

He did not know what she thought of him, because every time they fell into each other, she ran away. But on the same day she was able to come to him and talk like nothing was wrong. He did not understand her completely. At first he thought that he frightens her by his grimace on face, but she did not look scared at all.

He felt relieved when she was able to save her from her brother. He still remember the horror that his heart sank in when Rukia told him about who is the goal of the Hollow. He rushed ahead without listening to the end of her speaking. He had to just be there to save her.

He was glad she remembered about Rukia when she remembered he who he was. And he felt even more joy when she went with him to the Soul Society.

_He did not know when she became so important to him_. Is it when she thanked him, that he survived? Or maybe a lot sooner?

He did not mind her company. Searching Rukia with her was a lot easier and he did not feel so alone. She amazed him in every way and maybe then he decided to himself that he will protect her. Don't allow to anyone to hurt her.

She was the only person who could sees into him. She knew in what mood he is, he does not have say anything. As if she was taking off his mask, he had so carefully founded in the morning. He hated it. _He did not want her to worry_.

It's just that he always ended worrying her. His Hollow, his weakness, his lies.

But he could not otherwise. He wanted to protect her. If he told her, she might say he does not have to do that, he should focus on his family. _She always repelled him from her_, she never wanted anyone for herself.

Sometimes he wondered if he could teach her selfishness? Say openly that she wanted to spend some time with someone, for example on holidays.

Maybe he should have told her long before how lot she mean for him, say how much he would do to keep her safe?

Maybe if he would, they would not have to suffer so much?

* * *

All this time he thought about what Orihime said to him. He felt helpless in many ways. With her parents he could not do anything, even if he wanted to. He was not a god, and he could not decide in which family people were born. But he been able to banish from her nightmares that her parents will return for her. Even if they did it, he would not let them take her from him. He promised it to himself after the winter war. He was furious with her distant relative. He never understand why she spend so much time learning, when she could hang out with friends in the city. Now he know, and he was not impressed. His father also was not too extravagant, but he not pushed on them in any way, for which he despite appearances was grateful.

He had not told her about Tsukishima. He did not want her to blame herself. She did not even remember that, and yet she felt terrible. And all this was in fact his fault. If he instead of being focused solely on regaining his power, at least had a little interested in his friends, he would have noticed changes in them. Maybe if he immediately told her that he train, she would not fear to tell him that someone had attacked her. It's just that now he could only keep guessing, this does not change anything. He could only promise her that she did nothing wrong. She did not need to know how much he hated seeing her on Tsukishima side. _It was a pain, which he deserved_.

He luckily managed to convince her not to come back to her apartment and just stay with his family. No matter what she said, he knew that she was much happier without waking up in an empty house.

„Ichigo!" Boy from the year went to him with a smile of conspirator.

„Hm?" Bored he muttered under his breath, not showing any interest in the approaching classmate.

"Are you free this weekend?"

He thought for a moment, trying to remember what day it was and what days will fall at this weekend. He smiled when he realized what was coming.

"Sorry, I'm busy."

"I mean, what are you doing? You're going to work or what?" Boy suddenly were interested of Ichigo plans for the weekend so he sat next to him.

"I'm not going to any work. I don't have time for it. I'm seeing with my girlfriend."

"I forgot that you have a girlfriend. Lucky bastard."-He laughed under his breath, raking a hand through his hair. "Listen ... Did you do THIS already?"

"Hm? This?" Ichigo looked at him confused, not understanding his question.

„Sex!" He whispered leaning into him, so that no one else in the room could hear him.

„Are you stupid?!" He tore up blushing hard, pulling away from him.

„I take it for no." He smiled with satisfaction, pulling out of the bag a small book. "This is for you. Originally I wanted to invite you to hunt over the weekend. But if you have a girlfriend, then there is nothing to speak of."

He did not answer immediately, feeling little flustered about this, he grabbed the book and read the title. As soon as his mind digested content, he flushed immediately, wanting to hurt somebody. How could he go with her to such steps, when he even does not kiss her?

He gritted his teeth, looking at the already empty space next to him. Devastated he put the book into a bag, hoping that Orihime did not find it at the earliest opportunity. As was to be honest, he admire people who stand in celibacy for the wedding. He did not have enough self-control to do so. Once he decided on the relationship with Orihime, he does not take into account any physical contact. He just wanted her to be with him, that nobody else could take her from him. And yet he broke. _He was unable to not touch her_. This has become an addiction for him. He needed to feel her body on him. More often he caught up himself in staring at her mouth. But just that every time he tried to kiss her, someone disturbed them. He wanted to have their first kiss to be exceptional, but his patience is slowly ceasing.

The worst part was knowing that if he kiss her, and if their relationship reach this stage, he will desire her more and more. And in this case, he definitely would not help keep her body clean for the wedding. Even if Orihime did not speak, he know that many women dream to maintain the purity for the wedding night.

And now, he get a book from the "good" friend about how to seduce women. Even if he now assume that he will not read that he don't open it and just hide somewhere in the house, and after some time he will return it, he knew it was just empty words. Definitely he opens it and reads it. He was no longer a teenager, does not have to cover his eyes at the sight of a naked woman, pretending to be a gentleman. He was a man and, like every healthy man, had his own needs and views of the female body, especially naked body, has greatly affect on him.

"Kurosaki?" The blonde walked up to him, holding a few books with her. "Have you thought about the topic of your project?"

He sighed, getting back to reality. Before him was standing a colleague of years, half Japanese, half American. Miyoko Naroskey. The girl who told him months ago that she feels something more to him than just a friendly sympathy. At once he realized her that he could not return her feelings, and it would be better if she find some other crush. The girl, however, did not seem to understand the refusal and constantly harassed him at every opportunity. He was glad that he was able to not meet her when he was with him Orihime. He was sure that it would not end up well.

„Perhaps I'll write about breast cancer in women." He said calmly as he could to her question.

Post did not take out from nowhere. At the last visit, Orihime told him about it. He saw even as she explores the chest to find some weaknesses. He nearly died of a heart attack when she asked if he could do it for her. The greater part of him wanted to do it, to touch her breasts in this way, but this other part had powerful arguments. They were not at this level and he should not do it. _So far_.

„Oh, that's a great idea, Kurosaki! " The girl squealed excitedly, drowning in her own thoughts about what he should do with the project.

He remembered the first time she spoke to him, she called him "Kurosaki-kun." He was so surprised that for a moment he stared at her in disbelief. And then he felt irritated and clearly told her to not call him that. She did not understand of course, why he was so angry. And he had no intention to realize that only one person could call him that. Perhaps it was stupid and immature, but he was used, that his girlfriend calls him that way, she still was doing this in her dream. He never asked what dreams she have, but he feel happy in the knowledge that he is the object of her dreams.

* * *

_~~Flashback~~_

_It was during the war with Quincy, when he was dragged to Royal Palm, to heal his injuries. Then he was too wrapped up in the events, to reflect on what is happening around him. His sword was broken in the form of bankai and looked like it could not be fix it. He had not thought then that maybe Orihime could do something, but this did not came anybody to mind. So he went with members of the Zero squad, who terrified him in some way, to the seat of the king. He wondered how the king looks like, what he can do. It was a natural question for someone who does not know anything. Only during the war with Aizen heard something, but he did not remember it so good._

_He landed in hot springs. Not alone. They were also with him Byakuya, who fought for his life, Renji and Rukia. All bandaged, but still naked! He did not care about Renji or Byakuya, although health of captain was something that made him little worried, but Rukia? He did not even have time to think twice about the situation in which he found himself, when he heard from Tenjirou about her buttocks that looked like a peach._

_So he sat in these springs, and waited until he was healed. He could not move around the royal palace, he did not know the area and the whole structure seemed to him to be complicated. And being lost in here, was the last thing what he wanted._

„_You look disappointed." The man drew his pipe, slowly letting the smoke out of his lungs._

"_Hm? Anybody would be, if he had to wait, instead of acting." He grunted under his breath, turning away from him._

"_Do you like to look at women's buttocks?"_

_Only after these words, he realized that in the other side Rukia's body floats on water. He sighed irritably, turning away toward the captain. He felt trapped._

"_Shut up. This is not a time for that."_

„_You are too serious." He shrugged, glancing at the sky. "I guess you would prefer to some other girl be here with you?"_

"_Can we get out of this topic?!" He growled irritably, panting heavily._

_He did not know if he was mad at the hint of a man, or to himself for that after his words, the image of his other friend showed up in his mind. He did not want to worry about her, especially when Urahara assured him that everything is fine, but he did not feel comfortable in the knowledge that he is again close to Inoue, that he can again hurt her. After all, Grimmjow was an arrancar and he should not be trusted._

„_You're so fanciful." He commented wearily, leaving from water. "None fun with the limestone."_

_He did not answer. He did not want to deal with subjects unrelated to the war._

„_Damn!"_

_He slapped his head, trying to banish the image of friend in this way. It definitely was not the time for such thoughts._

* * *

He smiled to himself, feeling her body next to him. He pulled her even closer. He could spend this way all day, lying in bed with her. He did not even want to open his eyes, because it would meant the necessity of manage with the new day.

Her legs intertwined with his, she moaned under her breath, pressing her breasts at him. He knew she was going to open his eyes, but before she will gather herself to get up, it will be a good hour, or so, because just as he, she has having trouble with getting up in the holidays.

"Ichigo …"She muttered under her breath, hugging him tightly.

"Hm? How can I help you?"

„You can stop the time?" She opened her eyes, staring at him with hope in eyes.

He laughed, ruffling her hair. If it could do it, he would have done it long time ago, but he had no such power. Being specific, he had no power.

"Ne Ichigo we will go to the Art Gallery? You promised ..." She looked grumpy at him, trying to improve her hair.

"I know, I know. Finally, we have today the culture day and all the museums and other research centers have free admission."

"Let's go!"

She got up from the bed to the kitchen to make them breakfast. Ichigo lay still, not knowing whether to enjoy the free attractions, or curse, since he will not be able to spend all day in bed with his girlfriend.

"Ichigo! If you not going to get up soon, I'll go alone."She shouted from the kitchen, looking for a suitable pot in a cupboard.

"Cruel ..." He muttered under his breath, getting up lazily.

He suspected that for someone from the outside they looks like an old married couple. The thought did not scare him, even enjoyed that the relationship with Orihime is so strong that they do not feel any embarrassment to each other. He feared, however, that the girl would feel bored with this monotony. He had never been in a relationship, and his mother died when he was young and did not remember how she spent time with his father, moreover, they had them. But what they did when they were alone together?

He should make fun of himself for such care. Until now, his life circled around fighting monsters. But what he really was stressed about, it was a normal everyday life.

When they ate breakfast, they set off to explore Tokyo's museums and galleries. They were walking with holding hands and telling themselves what had happened at a time when they did not see each other. Yesterday evening, finally they spent mainly on sleeping, because they were both tired of studying or work.

Ichigo was never a person who would particularly admired the paintings, especially abstract, but coming here with Orihime changed the order of viewing. Earlier it had not occurred to him, or maybe he just forgot that his girlfriend does not think like any other woman, she have her wild imagination, which sometimes marveled him. Already at the first picture, he could not stop laughing. For him, this whole abstraction it was meaningless blobs, but Orihime had transformed them into something highly unusual.

"Look, Ichi! Here we have a tower of Sauron, which measures his eye in the blue people, or may be there're a smurfs?" Orihime mused for a moment, putting her right hand index finger to her cheek.

„I think it's blue people." Ichigo said in the most seriously voice he could afford, also making her a photo with his cell phone.

„Nuu, Ichi, you should make photo of paintings, not me ..."

"But to me you're the best exhibit here." He smiled jauntily pulling her into the next room.

It was only after they left the gallery, flushed from laughter. They walked toward the swords museum, that chose Ichigo. The road was a little long, but they did not want to take the subway or bus ride which were probably filled. They preferred to enjoy the other's company with some exercise with it, like in their school days.

"Kurosaki!" A woman's voice said behind them, causing that they stopped in mid-stride.

They turned to see running blonde toward them. Her breasts rocks at each step, they were smaller than Orihime breast, but still quite visible. On Ichigo face has shown his famous grimace again. She was the last person he wanted to see at this weekend.

"What a surprise! I didn't think that would I meet you at the weekend!" She said excitedly, completely ignoring the boy's companion.

„Listen to me, Naroskey, I don't have time right now." He growled harshly, squeezing Orihime hand tighter.

„Oh ..." Startled, she looked down, which finally fell on the girl, who looked at her with curiosity.

"Do you have something important to say?"

"No ... I mean, I wanted to offer going to a museum, but like I see that you already have a company ..." She muttered under her breath, trying to ignore their joined hands.

„See you on Monday."

He turned on his heel, dragging with him Orihime, who did not understand too much of what had just happened. She looked sideways at the blonde, who sobbed under her breath, shaking her hands on her skirt.

„Just ignore her."

„Who was that, Ichi?" She said embarrassed, not taking her eyes from his face.

„A friend from an year."

„You quarreled up?"

"No ..." He sighed resignedly, pausing. He knew he had to explain it because this subject will be pulled up behind them for the entire weekend. Finally, Orihime could be incredibly stubborn. He looked around and then saw a small park. He pulled her toward him, stopping in a secluded place. "Look ... She isn't somebody important. A month ago she told me she likes me ..." Orihime looked at him closely, tightly concealing from him her feelings. "I rejected her because I have you." She could not hide a sigh of relief. He smiled up at the sight that he held her in suspense. "But she doesn't give up, she keep harassing me."

She smiled shyly, putting his hands to his cheeks. Surprised, he stared into her eyes full of confidence. He even did not realize when the gentle pressure of her bent his head, moving him closer to her face.

She touched him lightly on the lips, sending chills to his body. She let go of his face flushed, her eyes were watching something at the side. But he, being still in shock that her lips were on his, with hand touched his lips, as if trying to make sure that it was not a dream.

„Hime ..." He whispered in disbelief, trying to draw Orihime attention to himself.

She looked up at him shyly. Looking as if she had just to cry or pass out from too much excitement. For him, she looked lovely with her blush, which devoured every millimeter of her face.

He grabbed her by the chin to prevent her from escape, as he leaned toward her. And she looked at him in disbelief. Her whole body tensed under his touch, breath teased her skin. She closed her eyes when he joined their lips in a kiss.

He never kissed anyone. So he let his instincts to guide him. In the beginning it was a shy kiss, exploring the softness of her lips. One hand he lay on her back, while the other was involved between her hair behind her head pulling her to him. He deepened the kiss, trying to remember to breathe. Orihime placed her hands on his shoulders, giving herself the additional support.

_Sometimes to win, you've got to sin,__  
__Don't mean I'm not a believer._

* * *

**(A/N) Shame on me... But I got some lazy time this holidays, but I gotta tell you that 5 more chapters and this story will end. **


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